Well, anyone who read my profile before would already know the tragedies I suffered in the past few years~ I started 2008 with a new profile and a new attitude with the highest hopes of making this the year of change for me! Change yes, but just not the kind I had in mind~ of course life is sometime like that, and we learn to live with what is, and love the new with all our heart!!Lot's of people question how I managed to stay single at 36 so I will go ahead and tell you, so you don't have to ask. I met a man when I was 21 and spent my entire 20's with him and his beautiful daughters. Time marched on, and before I knew it I was looking at 30 head on, and even though I had a wonderful life, I had to leave it behind, because he said he did not want to marry me. He married a woman shortly after I left who he thought would make a good "mom" for Brandy, the daughter whom lived with us, sadly he was wrong, she made the entire house miserable, and kept me from seeing Brandy at all. Just a year later Brandy took her own life, which sent mine spinning off the axis, I thought of her as my own blood and always knew she would come back to me when she was 18, I guess she couldn't wait it out.
It took years to heal enough to think of finding love again but I finally did and I got engaged to a wonderfully funny, adorable man in Dec of 06~ March of 07 his truck ran off the road ending his life (not quickly) and sending mine spinning once again. I told you he didn't die quickly, he was in the hospital for over a year before the DNR was signed and he was taken off support~ It is hard to lose someone you love to death and even harder to sit and watch that person wither from the person you knew to a whisp of a man, then gone~ Death is a final state, something you can't recover from, so all hope was smashed but, that is when the healing began! I am finally to a place where I actually want to date again and I am open to all possibilities. Life is hard and we learn to live with what we are delt, there are no fairy tales, but sometimes dreams do come true! On 9-9-9 God blessed me with a sweet baby girl, she is so tiny and precious~ but she came into this world way too early (3 months premature) weighing only 2lbs. We are still in the NICU, I have not been home in over three months but it looks like we will be going home soon. This little girl gave me back the hope of putting my life back together after so much heartache and loss!!
I have so much to be thankful for, too much good to hold onto for me to worry about what has been lost. I will never stop loving and never forget, but I must move forward. The sweetest love is the love of TODAY!! Today I am happy, healthy and free~ I've loved more than some ever do and lost everything more than once~ I live to the fullest each moment I am here, and I don't know any other way to be so if this somehow scares or upsets you, don't contact me and tell me about it, I don't care! I believe men and women have different roles and that we should stick to them, men need to be men and women need to be women! The Hillary Clintons of the world would have me drawn and 1/4'd but I am a strong southern woman and have strong southern values! If this somehow upsets you or offends you, don't contact me, I don't care what you think!!
I love to travel and try new things, not much scares me anymore and I hate the word "No"~ hearing it and saying it!! I do as much charity as I can and give every chance I get. My goal is to end my life with no regrets~ lofty, I know!!
Just like misery is a self imposed state, happiness is a choice, I choose to be happy each day and enjoy the world around me!!! God Bless all of my friends and family who have loved and supported me through everything!!!
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