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MAY THOSE WHO LOVE US LOVE US. FOR THOSE WHO DONT MAY GOD TURN THEIR HEARTS BUT HE CANNOT TURN THEIR HEARTS MAY HE TURN THEIR ANKLES SO THAT WE CAN TELL THEM BY THE LIMPING.
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SUICIDE - BOBBY GAYLORAnimals dont have a choice.If theyre not happy with their place in the world... too bad. They have to live the life theyve been given. Humans, on the other hand, dont have to. We have a choice. If you dont like your place in the world you can get off anytime you want. Suicide. Thats right. You dont like the way your lifes going, you dont like the way you are in the world, anything around you, you can check out anytime you like. Animals arent allowed that thought and believe me, if they were, they would use it. Thered be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes that live in high-rises, diving out the windows. Zebras... if they even had remotely that thought would take a look at themselves and go, What the F*035K! Black white in a green brown world... this blows. Im just gonna jump in the river.... I dont have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife or even open a jar of pills. Im just gonna dive into the next lions mouth. Why even bother? Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do. Now, theres a bunch of people that say, Oh, its against the law. Well, its only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught. Other people say, Oh, we should save them. Yeah, well you know what? Not everybody wants to be saved. Not everybody should be saved. And who are we to force our will upon them? I mean, isnt that one of the joys about being a human? Freedom of choice? Now, its not all bad. Now, Im not saying Kill yourself. But if youre gonna be an idiot and do it anyway, its no sweat off of my back. Theres a lot of good that could come from it. A little bit of bad thrown in. Some of the things A job will open... An apartment will become available... Therell be more air for me... They say theres two girls for every guy - if youre a man, therell be four chicks for me... Therell be more Ketel One vodka for me... Therell be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*035King slips filled out... I wont ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt Vinegar Chips and have the clerk point at you and say, They bought the last bag.... You wont help change the McDonalds sign to a Hundred Billion Served... Youll never get AIDS... You wont have to worry about calories ever... No more, Hey, does this make me look fat?... Therell be one less polluting human...You wont have to recycle... Therell be one less car on the road... Therell be more Ring Dings for me... Fifty or so chickens lives will be spared... Your fingers wont ever get red from eating pistachios... You wont be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore... No more church... Youll be saying, Hey, World - Kiss My Ass!... No more wet dreams about Supermodels... No more Barry Manilow... For a few years anyway... Wondering Am I a loser? will be a thing of the past... Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles... You wont have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion... F*035K flossing and brushing... Youll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare... Adios, Acne... Worrying whether you fit in or not wont be on your brain... See ya later, homework... Youll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park... Schools out forever.... No more paying bills... You wont have to do chores... You wont be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though... Youll also miss McDonalds French Fries... Bugs Bunny... The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time... You wont be able to watch the letterbox directors cut of Jaws... Candy... Living above ground... Pudding crust... Youll miss the rush of getting your first apartment... Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to F*035K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes....you did... Youll miss sex - youll miss thinking about it, looking for it, sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners... No more summer nights that seem to go on forever... Roller coasters.... Naming your kid the name you always wanted... Making a difference in the world... Youll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics... Watching your neighbors wife change clothes with her blinds open... A lifetime of masturbating... Watching your favorite team sweep the series... Music... You will definitely miss music... Trying to sneak into your house drunk - three hours past your curfew... Youll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks... The taste of Captain Crunch... If youre a boy, youll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girls shirt... If youre a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boys pants... Youll miss your favorite coat... Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries... Beating your friends at video games... You wont be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be... Youll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love - thirty years after the fact... The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas... Skinny dipping... Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin... Flying cars... Hey, you were born - Finish what was started.