Ryan profile picture

Ryan

cupcakes make me burp.

About Me

A 3rd grader came up to me and said, "How do you get Pikachu on the bus?" I shrugged my shoulders and he replied, "You Pokemon!" For the first 3 seconds or so I didn't understand the joke, and I considered putting him on timeout solely because of that. Then I got it. I laughed, but still ended up putting him on timeout moments later when I saw him throw sand in some kid's face. I laughed at that later on that night.In short, I love kids. If any of the above was even the least bit amusing to you, drop me a line. If not, then move along. These aren't the droids you're looking for.

My Interests

reading, writing, video games, eating, hiking, drumming, piano-ing, harmonica-ing, disneyland, memorizing movie and tv quotes, walking, running, camping, swimming, biking, gambling, psychology, teaching, free food, watching clowns falling, nerdy stuff.

I'd like to meet:

Tony danza, just so i could give him a roundhouse kick to the face.

Music:

too much to fit in this box, but all you really need to know is i like tons and tons of old stuff and a decent amount of new stuff. i also associate memories with music. so, for example, i might like a certain song if it was playing in the background while i was having a good time with someone. you know, sentimental crap like that.

Movies:

anything with hobbits touching each other, anything schwarzenneger, indiana jones, star wars, resident evil 2, bill and ted's excellent adventure, napoleon dynamite, super troopers, zoolander, red sonja, anchorman, 40 year old virgin, airplane!, hot shots!, robin hood: men in tights, spaceballs, 80's movies, adam sandler movies, waiting, anything pixar.

Television:

don't really watch much tv as i used to, but when i get the chance (or if it's in the summer when i'm not working at school) i watch MXC, simpsons, x-play, family guy, the critic, futurama, king of the hill, celebrity poker showdown, giants baseball, 49ers football, sharks hockey, olympics, conan o'brien, food network, warrior challenge, red dwarf, public access, are you being served, cosby show, cops, stupid dating shows, the knife guys on the home shopping network, obscure philosophy shows with non-sensical camera angles with that ugly guy with the beard.

Books:

sci-fi, fantasy, comedy, petty revenge stories.

Heroes:

jon lovitz and adam west.

My Blog

more telemarketing hijinks

ring ring...ring ring... me: "Hello?" telemarketer: "Hi, may i speak with Ryan Juan please?"  me: "Ooooh shit, playa! It's you! How you livin'?" telemarketer: (short laughter) "I'm good...
Posted by Ryan on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 09:54:00 PST

best. conversation. ever.

ring ring...ring ring... me: "hello." telemarketer: "mr. juan?" me: "yes." telemarketer: "i'm lisa york from the sprint phone company promotional sales services. how are you?" me: "not good." ...
Posted by Ryan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST