Mother! A Burger! Now! profile picture

Mother! A Burger! Now!

About Me

..I'm quite quiet, and keep my opinions to myself, because I think everybody should, really.
I don't like to argue, and I would never use physical violence. Because, well, I don't see the point.
I'm quite tall, and very thin, and really quite active: I love exercise. It is the most fun a person can have, in my opinion.
I love children, and desperately want to get married. What other purpose do we women have on this earth? I do not doubt for a moment that a woman's purpose is to marry a man, serve him for the rest of her life, and bear as many children as he so desires.
I am always honest, and rarely tell jokes.
I never swear.
All of the above, children, was an example of a big, fat, ugly lie. And a bad one at that.
Let's try again, shall we?
Hate hypocrites. Hate exercise. Hate my job. Hate school. Hate men. Hate Keira Knightley. Hate serious people. Hate bugs. Hate being submissive. Hate kids. Hate not arguing. Hate political correctness. Hate old people. Hate ugly shoes. Hate people who obsess. Hate pineapples. Hate people younger than me. Hate "The Boyfriend" (don't ask). Hate tidyness. Hate marriage. Hate weak people. Hate red cars. Hate people who don't get sarcasm. Hate cricket (what the actual fuck is it?!) Hate not being challenged. Hate Baroque counterpoint (again: don't ask). Hate forgetting stuff. Hate mouthy people. Hate smokers. Hate people who can't take a joke. Hate bad posture. Hate being ill. Hate bad grammar. Hate people who won't try new stuff. Hate arrogance. Hate missing out. Hate losing. Loathe "romance".
I like dogs, though.
MySpace Codes I think sharing the lessons I have learnt will help you to understand me best:
1) It is not impossible, nor even difficult, to offend a teacher in three words or less.
2) It is not acceptable to give money to a homeless person and then take 80% of it back again.
3) If you shout "wanker" into people's faces repeatedly until you lose consciousness, they probably won't call you an ambulance.
4) If you want to be attractive to the opposite sex, it is probably not a good idea to tell them your mother has the same shirt as them.
5) Never is it ok to ask strangers if they know that an eggplant is not made by poultry.
6) Coke and raspberry syrup are better than alcohol.
7) People you have just met might not understand that you use "bitch" as an affectionate term.
8) Always assume that men know they are egotistical, self-righteous, chauvenistic, ignorant, cheating, cheap, self-absorbed tossers. They do not like to be reminded on a daily basis.
9) If you are an ice queen, don't suddenly be nice. People get suspicious.
10) If you don't want to be single for the rest of your life, don't be a feminist. If a woman shows any kind of self-respect or resistance to a man's, *cough*, masculine charms, he immediately assumes she is a lesbian and moves on to a Paris Hilton wannabe.
11) In life, a woman must do something twice as well as a man to be considered worthy (Fortunately, this is not difficult).
12) If you correct people's grammar too much, they will plot your demise (however, people who spell "grammar" as "grammer" and "weird" as "wierd" are just asking for trouble).
13) It is "politically incorrect" to laugh at articles that mention depressed women burying their dead babies in plant pots.
14) People know Titanic was arse-numbingly and hysterically boring, but they do not like to be reminded that, in spite of this, they were stupid enough to cry.
15) Never go to Stevenage.
16) Men will not hit women. Some women, however, might not exercise the same restraint.
17) "I died in a car accident" is not a good enough reason to not do your Maths homework (ditto "The Holy Spirit took it", "I must have eaten it by accident" and "My house was set on fire as I ran up and down the stairs in clogs").
18) If some twat in the middle of town shouts "Want to suck my dick?", the reply "Only if you suck mine first" is guarranteed to shut them up.
19) Never go on the pull with your my best friends. Always go on the pull with ugly people, instead.
20) Before you drink orange juice, smell it first. It might be egg yolk.
   

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

MySpace Codes Ok, so despite my promises that I would never be so clichéd, I'm gonna mention my friends in this space. And don't roll your eyes at me. SOOOOO:
Spam =) My better half lol. Well, maybe not, but I love him more than I love half of myself. ... I know. We're bad influences on each other, but, let's face it, he'd be screwed without me =P
Known for saying: -Sucks to be you, -*tries to correct me. Fails*.
OJ (aka Jodie) She's a better friend than I could ever ask for. We share a bond that is exclusive only to us, as we are the only people with the 4 Bs... Well, not the only people. Just the only single ones (evidently, the 5th B is "boyfriend"... bit screw that. No-one gets away with more stuff with me than Jodie does, but she makes up with it by... Um... Ok, well she hasn't made it up to me yet, but she will. Eventually. =P
Known for sayingL-Did I really do/say that? -Blates -Ya mon -Daisy, I haven't finished my PORCUPINE! -Don't put Pretty Fly on again, Daisy.
CURLY!! She's my Curly, and nobody else's. She's beautiful (with the most fantastic hair, as you can probably guess) and I owe her so much. (No, seriously, I keep forgetting to tell her when her singing lesson is), I love her to bits, though, and woe betide any man who crosses us.
Known for saying: -Of course, Jodie... -
LOZ! =D I think my love for Lauren can be summed up by our daily routine: Me: 'Lauren, stop taking drugs.' She: 'Daisy, stop having sex.' Me: 'Lauren, stop being a hypocrite.' ... Lol ^_^ Lauren is quanal, and I love her for it. We tease each other no end, and I would probably hole myself up somewhere if I didn't have her there to cheer me up every day. She is also the only person who understands my Don't-touch-my-face-or-waist-if-you-want-to-see-your-next-bi rthday thing. GEM!!
Known for saying: -Mother! A burger! Now! -What with men? Think it through. -Awesome! -Gay... -Quanal.
Karl - Karl's like my big brother (we decided) Karl is my big brother. He's one of those people I know that, if I didn't see him for 6 months, we could still pick up exactly where we left off and nothing will have changed. I always call him in the very, very early hours of the morning when I've had a drink, and he repays me by... well, by calling me a lesbian, but I'm sure there's some brotherly affection in there somewhere. Nah, Karl always makes sure I'm ok, even when he's down, and, although we fight like cat and dog, we'll drop any argument if one of us needs help. We got each other, man. I'm gonna know him for a long time *groans*...
Known for saying -Up yours. -Your mum. -*spells extremely simple word mind-blowingly wrong*
LAURA is amazing. She's sweet, she's funny, she totally gets where I'm coming from when I talk about people/things I hate. Oh, and she has the most terrific legs I have ever seen. The bitch. I love our frees together, cos we just talk shite the whole time, I will never forget the deodorant story as long as I live.
Known for saying -What? Oh come on, I'm scarier than Rachael!
Megs is a total legend. I actually cannot remember life before her lol. She is my fellow WEJ and singing partner. We're in constant competition, and are gonna fight it out for Nancy =P but naw I love her to bits. Woe betide anyone who fucks her over.
Known for saying: -Anything accidentally full of innuendo.
CALLUM! He's gonna give me tang =) The drink not... "tang". ... Maybe "tang"... No, probably not. He's like my brother, too. My younger, slightly retarded brother =P Lol nah he's lovely. He always looks after me, even when I don't need it, and he's gonna pay for everything when we go to the moon. ... Idk how. But he says he's a secret millionnaire. So... whatever.
Sharrold!! Every school has one - she's ours. She's smart, she's funny, she's random and she has amazing eyes... As soon as she learns to spend less than four and a half hours to eat a main course, she'll be near perfect
Known for saying: -How can two pencils have caterpillar sex? It just doesn't make any sense!
ROSIE!! Rosie Rosie is so like me sometimes it creeps me out a little. We're both perfectionists, we both get easily wound up, and we both love a Scottish accent. =D She has a meltingly amazing operatic voice, and one day I'ma steal it. But until then, I will settle for our duets and bitching sessions about our music homework.
Known for saying: -I'm going through a very hard time right now! -Queer.
LEMON-TREE!! Meine schwester!! What can I say - she hasn't yet bought alcohol for me and my friends, but she would if I asked nicely enough. Right? Or, I guess, if I let her draw eyebrows on me, but I have no real intention of letting her do that
Known for saying: -Daybedee -You big ugly lesbian... -Where's my Pooboo? -Anything about herself =P... Naw. I'm half kidding.
Mr. Holmes aka 'the other Sam' aka Sambo - Well, he still finds fart jokes funny, and he doesn't take the very strong hint when I so 'go away, Sam', but otherwise, he's pretty awesome. I'd prefer it if he didn't put his socks in the wash all balled up, like he does, but I'm still working on the don't-leave-the-toilet-seat-up thing atm.
Known for saying: -Notice me. Give me attention. -Hi, Daisy. Hi Daisy. Hi Daisy. Hi Daisy. (etc etc) -The French always put horses in salami, Poppy. -Hitler -Where's my schnoogs?
MILLY! (not my sister *raises eyebrows at the dope who keeps thinking she is, no names mentioned*) is my angel in a batman shirt. She's pretty awesome. She's really down to earth - despite her hopeless romanticism, for which I sometimes feel obligated to hit her over the head with a mallet) and I wish I had the willpower she has, I really do.
Known for saying: -That's soo cool! -Noel Fielding!
Kaylia!! aka Lucy =)aka Special Not a lot to say, really. We used to be closer, but things change, and you can't blame anyone for that. I miss her, though.
Known for saying: -I don't understand... -What?! -Suckshun! -Babby -Awwwwwwwwwwwwwh!!
Claire aka Tairmas (hopes I spelt it rite) aka my fellow hero!! She is my jelly tot. I love her to pieces... even if she does need to toughen up against Nathan, but we'll work on that.
ABBIE!! is a nutter. ... ... Yeah, I think that pretty much covers it.
Known for saying: Excuse me, Mrs. Warehouse...
Amyyyy Amy is a bitch... Nah I'm kidding. She's one of the most fun people I know, and if I was a couple of feet taller, I'd be able to see whether or not she has a pretty face. Bit too skinny for my liking, but I seem to make a habit of having skinny friends, so I won't complain. xMwahx
Known for saying: Well, that's a bit pants.
Peshwari!! aka Rosa - aka my Bill =D Daisy loves her Rosa - even if she does have countless mood swings, text me night and day just to ask me how I am (why does anyone do that?!), take home my beloved watch and spit sweets out on my laptop and socks.... what was I saying? Oh yeah. Love her... =)
Known for saying: -[Northern accent] Love you forever, mam.
Shooze is my harmony girl. We like to drive people (namely Lucy B) insane with our incessant singing in public places (covers include Follow Me, Let It Be, and, everyone's personal favourite, As Long As I Have Music - latest addition: Hey There Delilah, although not officially...). She shares my affection for Johnny Depp, and rightly so. She's my favourite Shooze out of all of them. Sa-rah...
Known for saying: -So cool. -*Some random crap about Friends] -*Some random crap about Foamy [www.illwillpress.com ]
Lucy B is my Geoffrey and, despite her insanity, I have found that I can actually tolerate her =P. I love having her around, as she's always happy to have a hug. Oh, and she's straight as a beanpole... *cough*BR> Known for saying: -Hello, darling... -Could I be any more of a gay man?
Kelsey Kelsey is awesome. Ok, so she's too pretty for me to be seen in public with, but she's awesome all the same - I miss her =( I miss singing with her, and laughing backstage at the QMT with her. *sigh* Love love
Yazzz Yaz is pretty amazing. She has the most beautiful eyes known to mankind and she has pretty damned good taste. Plus, she gives me as much gossip as she can, no questions asked.
Luuuuuke Luke is my baby. Despite the fact that he's prettier than I am I love him with quite a large amount of my black stone (aka heart). He's extremely vain - he and Milly compete - but I really believe that life is great because of him has changed for the better because of him would not be the same without him. =D
Known for saying: -Hello, Daisy darling -Filthy Ethiopians
Emma! Emma is pretty nuts. I mean she really is quite insane - but we all love her for it, don't we? She's always up for a laugh and has made me smile at the weirdest of times. She rocks.
Known for saying: I'm going to steal his/her bone marrow.
RachaeM aka Rachael... is a bizarre kind of person. On the one hand she sucks up to me in every way possible because she knows that 1) I am awesome and she is not and 2) I could kick her arse, and yet she still makes mistakes by saying things such as 'when Daisy gets married...' or 'when Daisy has her first child...' (not only implying that I would be stupid enough to have a baby, but also implying that it would be the first of many - silly girl). However, I forgive her. Purely because she understands me... When she can be bothered.
Known for saying: -Sorry, Daisy!! -Please don't take away my cabbage water! -*Some random crap about Harry Potter* -*Some random mathematical crap*
Georgia is a bit of a legend. She really is. She is completely hysterical. She shares my love for the winking game, and my love for german chavs. I also very much like her bling, which I intend to steal at the next opportunity. We used to share Brad Pritt (yes, Pritt - it's a long story) but, again, things change and I miss her, too, but Brad and his Bratwursts are all mine now. xx
Known for saying: Brap.
Gavin . Ok, so he's my bean from biology class, but he's so much better than any of the beans in Lucy's bean bottle thingy, and I just wanted to point that out.
Known for saying: Oh, don't be ridiculous - it's a bean.

And, just for the record, Russell Howard, Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey, Queen Latifah, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Kathy Griffin, Kristen Chenoweth, Adam Hill, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Johnny Depp wouldn't go amiss... You know. If you happen to see them. And, actually, now that I think about it, if I don't meet Channing Tatum before I die, my life is a sham.
MySpace Layouts
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MySpace Codes
MySpace Backgrounds

My Blog

Here’s a bunch of stuff.

 If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would you want it?: Let's discuss this for a moment. Why do I have to get a tattoo? My parents are never going to threaten me to get a tattoo, my friends are n...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 11:37:00 GMT

It’s not a real bulletin unless I dissect it.

..> This one's the sex one that Sam posted.10 reasons to have sex1. Scientific tests find that when women make love, they producedouble amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shinyand skin...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 15:05:00 GMT

Whatever you care to know

SEVEN CIRCLESCIRCLE ONE: THE OUTSIDE1. What's your name: Daisy2. How tall are you: Yeigh high?3. What color are your eyes: Blue. =)4. What color is your hair: Blonde =/5. Are you Male or Female: Well ...
Posted by on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:31:00 GMT

The new base system - for Brits =)

The whole world is becoming americanised, and Jodie and I decided that we don't like the american 'base system' ('1st base', '2nd base', etc.) cos they're really unspecific. So... we made up new ones ...
Posted by on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 03:14:00 GMT

Extra stuff that pisses me off: Rant 7

Ok, so its been a while, but heres my rant. Someones bulletin inspired me, and now Im back on top. So, Extra stuff that pisses me off: People who butcher the English language purely because they thi...
Posted by on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 13:12:00 GMT

Men: Step One - Break-up Translations

Now I don't like to brag about my superpowers, but I believe that I have finally done the impossible: [x] Ladder ladder-resistant tights[x] Destroy an indestructable pen[x] Understand men And, althoug...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:59:00 GMT

Single Girl: Help wanted

Single girl: Help wanted. If you know this guy, tell me. I'd be interested to know. For the record, this is not in order of importance.Things labelled with a * are not obligatory, but they help.Ali...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Jul 2006 13:43:00 GMT

Further stuff that pisses me off: Rant 4

Id like to begin this rant with a formal note of apology to people who have found my previous rants offensive. I am very sorry that you people could not see my rants for the simple comedy quality tha...
Posted by on Wed, 21 Jun 2006 12:03:00 GMT

Even more stuff that pisses me off: Rant 3

Even more stuff that pisses me off: People who ask me if Im ok when Im crying. Do you people know NOTHING?! Its a simple process; I am crying = I am sad. I do not need you to make me feel worse by as...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 12:53:00 GMT

Stuff that pisses me off: Rant 1

Stuff That Pisses Me Off People who are trying to communicate to other people, for example, on the other side of the room, but, instead of shouting, like a normal human being, they use a crappy excuse...
Posted by on Mon, 19 Jun 2006 11:47:00 GMT