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I am here for Friends

About Me

My name is Nathan. Most people call me Cage! I like music. I've rocked the world from Dubai to Beijing, then from Beijing to Dublin where I aquired my yellow belt in Judo. Sometimes, I break my own neck, then repair it just for fun. I've out drank the irish, prepared my taxes faster than an asian, and spit tobacco further than any man to walk Kentucky. Not only can I rap, I once sang in a Siberian Opera, followed by 3 months on the frozen tundra of Antartica, hunting walrus with a tribe of indiginous people. I've picked George's nose on Mt Rushmore, completed the SAT within 3 minutes, AND forced the same polar end of 2 magnets together. I square dance in circles and line dance in place. I divide 10 by 3 and get 4. I have found Waldo, and I know where Carmen San Diego resides. When playing Oregon Trail as a kid, I ended up in Hollywood in a four star resort. I spell words not big enough for the Scrabble board, I was offered the Nobel Prize, but turned it down. I've been known to speak to animals. I used to be a champion bull fighter, I can speak in binary code, my socks always match and my pants always fit. I can describe the taste of water. I am a flap jack flippin tar spittin son of a fool. I have fought Chuck Norris and won. In my past life, I was a muscle in Bruce Lee's arm. I break the sound barrier when I jog, I never have to shave, and my arm pits never stink. I spit tar and drink hot dogs. I have met the Pope and even convinced him to let me wear his hat. I have found Sasquatch and became close friends. I know where Osama is hiding, and I was the one who dug Sadam his hole. I have beat Fisher at Chess, and MJ one on one. My erections have caused earthquakes. I drink kerosene and piss fire. If you want to really get to know me, you can find me listed in the dictionary next to the word Awesome. I am Cage, let's be pals. ..