Tommy

I'd like to meet:

“I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, I am Croatian and these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened.” ..

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“You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.”

“You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.”

“Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn’t see their thoughts as belonging to them. When ancient Greeks had a thought, it occurred to them as a god or goddess giving an order. Apollo was telling them to be brave. Athena was telling them to fall in love. Now people hear a commercial for sour cream potato chips and rush out to buy, but now they call this free will. At least the ancient Greeks were being honest.”

“Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?”

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”

“Deliver me from Swedish furniture.
Deliver me from clever art...
May I never be complete.
May I never be content.
May I never be perfect.”

“Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you’re taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It’s all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows."

“Must see TV"
>

“To Catch a Chicken Fucker"

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Makes you wonder if buying "cage free" chicken eggs is such a smart idea doesn't it?

Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

Why can't this country just leave this girl alone!

We pick on Britney all day long while across the globe an elite group of terrorists have spread biochemical warfare onto all major crops. Lacing fruits and vegtables with a strain of Viagra guaranteed to give you an erection lasting more than four hours.

Men are gathering all over the world all asking the same question...

Were Da Bitches At!!!

Speaking of bitches... You could drop a fucking fork on the ground
and this one would make an hour long special about the
horror and tragedy behind it. Man, talk about over playing
it!

The way your dad looked at it,
this watch was your birthright.
He'd be damned if any slopes
gonna put their greasy yellow hands
on his boy's birthright,
so he hid it,
in the one place he knew he could hide something:
his ass.
Five long years,
he wore this watch up his ass.
Then when he died of dysentery,
he gave me the watch.
I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal
up my ass for two years.
Then, after seven years,
I was sent home to my family.
And now,
little man,
I give the watch
to you

For those about to rock

We salute you

You said I tasted famous
so I drew you a heart
but I'm not an artist
I'm a fucking
work
of
art

POETIC INJUSTICE Truth masked by the unforgiving realities of existence only to be revealed in a parallel universe.