UPDATE: The baby is now two years old. I am no longer pregnant! Everyone who sees my site here, who does not know me, thinks I am still pregnant. I just have not updated. Sorry!
Be sure to visit my other site on HIS HOLY SPACE
MUST VISIT THIS SITE! URGENT NOTE RE ABORTION!
If you live in the state of Indiana, visit our sister site, A Lot of Love In A Little Package
If you live in the state of Oregon, then visit our other sister site, Miracle of Life
If the player keeps pausing to load, hit the pause button for a minute, wait, and then hit play and it will have loaded, and play smoothly. They have another version of this same video, which is even better! It shows them standing in front of Greek-style pillars. However, they did not have, on any of that particular version, the ability to imbed it here.
WARNING- This site contains a few graphic, disturbing photographs toward the bottom of the page. I have done this in order to convey the gruesome, beyond hell reality of lives lived, (and for many, not lived!), by millions of children in the United States and abroad, (I say 'millions' because I'm including aborted babies as well). You have been warned!
SO, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
Why do I show these pictures? You may ask.
Well, for many, hearing about these sorts of things isn't enough. Sometimes seeing it before your very eyes makes it even more real.
For example--abortion--knowing about it isn't enough. But seeing a photo, and seeing that these "are real babies" lying there in a pile in a garbage can like waste inflicts more emotion. It's sad that it has to be that way, but that's the way that it is.
That's what I want. I want people to get more emotional about child abuse and abortion in order that they will want to take a stand and do something about it!
Furthermore, people have gotten lazy about their own country they live in, and the condition it's in, and many things. They figure, "Oh well, I'm only one person. What can I do?" and so they do nothing but sit on their couch with the remote control in their hands.
And some have the attitude that they want to just bury their heads in the sand, and pretend that it doesn't exist. Maybe it will "just go away". They're afraid to say anything, or take a stand, because they don't want to possibly "offend" anyone. If you offend someone over doing what is right in your lifetime--that's awesome! When you take a stand for Jesus Christ, you will offend! The Holy Bible says so! But it also says that God will bless you abundantly for this! Christ warns that the world (who in the endtimes, shall have their consciences seared with a hot iron), will hate you for serving Him!
We've somehow, over time, become desensitized and numb to the many things going on all around us. We live in our own little world and "to hell" with everything else. People, this isn't the way it ought to be; because I promise you this--if we do nothing, it's going to become even more of a hell than what it already is! And if you're under the misconception that these things won't affect you, you're sadly mistaken. Eventually, in time, it will not only affect you, but your children, and your grandchildren, and so on. Oh, and guess what? To an extent--it already is!
What do you want to be doing when it's your time to go? When you stand before God, looking Him directly in the face, and have to give account for everything you've done in your life, (both good and bad), and everything you "haven't done"--what is your excuse going to be?
CHILDREN ARE A BLESSED GIFT FROM GOD!
WE HELP WOMEN--AND MEN! Men are available to "help men" through their difficult times!
This site is 100% free and confidential (however, if you post something publicly, (blog, comments, etc.) then I'm not responsible for whomever reads it..) You will never be asked to give us any personal information whatsoever. If you do, it's because you volunteer it.
This site is NOT about judgment or ridicule! It's about finding love, hope, and peace. It is about having someone to listen, and to hear you. You will in no way every be judged, criticized or ridiculed for your past or your present...or for anything. None of us are perfect. We all need a friend! Here, you have a friend. A real friend.
Talk to me and depend on me... I will be here for you and do whatever I am able to help you through your storms, and show you that there is a beautiful rainbow on the other side...!
We also have men available to help other men through their dilemmas. We ALL need help at times...whether men or women.
Be Sure To Watch Entire Video! It's Based On A True Story! Thanks in advance for checking it out!
The gentleman in this video, (Nick Cannon), was almost aborted by his mother, in real life. In the video, he is the spirit of the unborn baby speaking to his mother.
THIS SITE IS NOT JUST ABOUT ABORTION--BUT PLEASE READ MY STORY
Allow me to say that this site is not just about abortion..it's about our lives and our children.
I'm very against abortion. Throughout all of my pregnancies, everyone told me, "Have an abortion!" But I didn't.
My first pregnancy was the result of an affair. I was married to an abusive man, and got pregnant with another man's child. The father said to me, "Come and be with me, or get rid of it!" I had an appointment for an abortion, though I was horribly against it. I felt I had no other choice. My mother, who was against abortion, but knew I was in a difficult situation and trying to help, said, "Think of it as a clump of matter and then put it out of your mind." But I was unable to think of it as just a clump of matter or put it out of my mind.
The day before my date, I got into my car and my radio was on. The tale end of a song by Whitney Houston was on--"How can you throw away the miracle, the miracle inside of me..." At that point, I laid my hand on my belly and cried. I said, "God, I don't know what I'm going to do. I've always wanted a baby, but thought I couldn't have one. Here I am in this terrible situation. I give this situation to you. I'm keeping my baby and trust that you'll be here with me throughout all of this."
I never went to my appointment. Today I have a beautiful, intelligent eleven-year-old girl, who her grandparents, father, mother (myself), and everyone else adores.
My husband and I eventually split up in 1999. Almost a year prior to us splitting up, when she was six months old, I had told him that I cheated on him and that this wasn't really his child. He laid on the floor crying...although he had been abusive to me, I felt guilty for cheating. Needless to say, on a somewhat different note, I am less likely to ever cheat again as a result of losing everything that I had. The good thing was that I gained a beautiful daughter out of it!
After my husband left, I had no job, my daughter to take care of (who was soon to be three at the time), and found I was pregnant again. This time it was a man's whom I had slept with one time, who lived next door to us, who had been my friend throughout everything.
He and I went to a fourth of July party and drank quite a bit. We went back to my place and that's the night I became pregnant. This time I was really going to do it. I was depressed because I didn't want to have an abortion. But what was I to do with a daughter, no job, no money, and nowhere to go? My parents threw me out as a teenager and since, have never allowed me to stay with them, no matter what the circumstance. I was even homeless shortly after I turned 18-years-old. The father of this child was going to pay for the abortion, and I was going to make an appointment for the abortion.
But one night I was sitting down by myself on the couch with a notepad and wrote a letter to my unborn baby. The Miami Valley Women's Center here in Dayton, OH has a copy. The letter began with me getting rid of the baby, and having no choice, and ended with me deciding to keep the child. Again, I gave the situation to God.
I ended up staying with my daughter's dad because I had nowhere else to go, and four weeks after giving birth, began working and got my own apartment. The Lord helped me through everything. I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy, whom I named Benjamin. Today, Benjamin is six-years-old and is the apple of his fathers' eye, who begged me to have an abortion and was going to pay for it.
In 2004 I was very serious with a man with whom I also became pregnant. Still a single mother...no help from anyone. I already had two children, but I did not consider abortion. He left me when I was three months pregnant, as I found he was cheating on my with his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend not too long afterwards. I have not heard from him since.
My son, Christopher, is now over a year old. He his a happy little guy who loves to dance and smile. Infact, at daycare, they said he dances constantly and is such a joy! Yes, Christopher is a handful..but he's worth it!
Early in this particular pregnancy, I had lost my job at a local nursing home because of my attendance, though I've always had doctor's notes and my absenteeism has always been legitimate. I suffered terrible morning sickness (later to find out because I had mold in my apartment, bad, in the attic and in the walls) and missed work as a result of it. I had no other income whatsoever except for child support and no help from anyone. I suffered much depression because of my situation, and will admit, the temptation of abortion went through my mind a couple of times, although quickly dismissed. I ended up living off of federal taxes and got a job with a local hospice company soon after Christopher was born. I had excellent credit, but because I was unemployed and no one would hire me, I could not pay credit card bills; and so, I had to file bankruptcy.
Does all of this sound horrible? No. I'm telling you how I made it... because, you see..one can find a way to make it. I had to do things I did not want to do (like bankruptcy); but I'd rather live with bankruptcy than the memory of killing my unborn child.
I had several people say to me, "Get rid of it. You're in a terrible situation, you're not going to be able to do this." And, the abortion clinic on Stroop Road in Kettering, OH is just around the corner from me. I resent people speaking such doubt and unbelief to me, and suggesting that I kill my baby. I did not do that. Instead, I again trusted God to help me through everything and to be my strength.
There are times when I look at my three, precious children and I remember what fate they almost suffered, and how they're so lucky to be here, and did not suffer the fate as so many other poor, precious little babies--but truly almost did.
Just when you thought I'd learned my lesson, wouldn't you know...I got pregnant again. On June 5 of 2006, (my birthday), I discovered I was pregnant with my fourth child. This time, more than any other time I had been pregnant...abortion was the answer. No doubt in my mind. I could NOT have another baby..no way. Even everyone, including those who were firm against abortion and "christian" said, "Get an abortion! Get an abortion!"
I ran straight home and called my insurance company, (United Health Care of Ohio), to find out that they would pay 100% of the abortion. (As a side note, I went to my Ob-Gyn whom I've had all three of my children with, and they informed me that my deductible for this pregnancy was $500, plus 20% of a vaginal delivery; and that they wanted this by my seventh month or else they would not deliver my baby! So I have to find someone else. Regardless, my point...my insurance paid 100% of an abortion, but I had to come up with approximately $950 to keep the baby? Does this make any sense?) So, back to the story regarding this current pregnancy--I was given a special verification number (by United Health Care), to give to the abortion clinic, (remember this in a few moments here...).
I called the abortion clinic. At the end of the call, I gave the lady the verification number the insurance company had given to me. She was shocked as to how I had that number..patients never have that number..and that number takes a while to get...no one ever gets that verification number right away like that..especially not the patient. This was a 'good' thing...it would make things happen faster and easier (she said). I made the appointment. Abortionist Haskell, who performs partial birth abortions and many, many others, would be my 'abortionist' (sorry, can't call an abortionist a doctor...a doctor saves lives. An abortionist takes lives.) There was no question about this. This time, I made the decision. And it was final. I told the boyfriend. He said he would support me in whatever decision that I made but did not want a child.
A few days later I was lying in bed saying my prayers. I was crying. I asked God to forgive me for what I had to do. But then I heard a voice, neither male nor female, say to me, "Mommy, please don't let them kill me. Please don't let them take me from you!" I began to cry even more, as I got goose bumps.
I will share one other thing, and I understand where some might not believe this, thinking it "too far out"--but that's okay. I'll tell you anyways because it did happen. And I realize that the baby at the time would've been way too small (only a few weeks pregnant), but I felt a baby kick. I have had three and I know the difference between 'other inner-bodily feelings' and a baby moving. This was the kick of a baby...and a very strong, forceful kick...and happened during my prayer.
Let me explain. I believe God allowed this to happen to make it more personal to me--to help me see that abortion was not the easy-out..because it worked. In other words, the kicking was a spiritual thing. God allowing me to feel, in advance, what I would feel later in this pregnancy; maybe a reminder to me that it's a life regardless of my circumstances, and therefore not my right, nor my place to take.
At this point, I changed my mind. I also knew that I was going to have a girl. I don't know how I knew this, but I knew. This also made it even more personal. (As a side note, I wrote this months ago, at the very beginning of my pregnancy. I was going through updating things just now, including a part below where it says, "Now, I'm almost nine full months pregnant..etc etc." and the parts below to do with the boyfriend, because it had originally said we'd worked things out, and that we're together--but we're not-things did not work out. Anyways, since I originally wrote and created this webpage, I have had several ultrasounds. I AM having a girl!)
I told the boyfriend that I had changed my mind, and he was not happy about that at all. He turned his back on me. We did not live together. I remember sitting there in my apartment that week (I was on vacation) all by myself crying and pining away for the boyfriend. How could he do this to me? Why did I have to suffer this alone? I didn't want a baby either! I already had three children, and my youngest turned one that same week (the day after my birthday--June 6 was his birthday, mine was June 5--and remember, June 5 was the day I found out), he was extremely difficult and a handful...I had just gotten back into shape, lost all of my pregnancy weight I'd worked so hard to get off...my last experience had been horrible! Oh my God, I didn't want another baby! Dear God, why me? I cried incessantly. I was sick with fear and anxiety.
But here I was alone to suffer. I had preachers calling me and praying (friends of my dad's), etc. But none of it brought back the boyfriend. He and I had been like best friends prior to all of this. I wasn't expecting this from him. After one month of hardly seeing him at all, and being blamed, told that it was more my fault than his because I wouldn't have an abortion (as though it were a form a birth control and easy), acted like it was my fault my body decided to get pregnant...he broke up with me.
He works where I lived. I had to see him daily, but he would turn his back to me as I drove past.
Now I am almost nine full months pregnant. Things are pretty rough, I'll admit. But I trust in God to help me as He has before. I don't expect sympathy; infact, as you're reading this, you might even think, "Doesn't this girl use birth control? And after three?" or, better, "Why doesn't she wait until she gets married, like one walking in Christ is supposed to?" Yes, this last time, I was taking precautions; regardless, I got pregnant. But I have God.
The father of this baby is still not involved whatsoever. It's probably for the best, because I've since found out that he is a very dishonest person and has many different problems/addictions.
I have much support from different people--friends, and people God has put into my path to help along.
So sad, so many babies must suffer and be brutally murdered..so many spirits of the innocent nestled safely within their mother's warm womb...ripped out and torn, coldly and crudely by the hands of one who hates them; the hands who only care about the money they will soon hold...not the baby that never got held. And here I am, a single mom with three, and one on the way, all by myself with little help at all. And I choose to put my faith in my God above. I know it will be oh so hard...and I know I will not be able to do things other people can go and do so freely. I will be strapped. But I will make it. After all, it's a human. It's a part of me. It's helpless. It needs me. It is a baby--it's MY BABY!
I want to say, never give up hope..because where there is faith, there is love..and there is God. He will never leave you, never abandon you, nor forsake you. Trust in Him.
And if you have a child or children already and can't seem to handle it, or the burden of parenting is weighing you down--there's A LOT of help out there for you. You don't have to do something you'll regret for the rest of your life! Trust me! I'm here, and there's lot's of places here to walk you through your toughest times. Feel free to look through my links provided near the bottom of this page.
God bless you! And I hope you make the right decisions for you, and most of all, for your child--whether that child is growing inside of you now, or is already in this world! That child depends on you and loves you!
CHILD ABUSE STATISTICS-The Numbers Are Alarming, and Growing!
Child abuse and neglect is reaching epidemic proportions with disastrous consequences. Judges, lawyers, physicians and other community professionals agree that tax dollars would be best spent preventing abuse and preserving families. Unfortunately, adequate resources have not been invested by state and Federal government to make significant prevention possible. One problem is that on both these levels the political constituency necessary to meet the needs of children has not been organized.
It is clear that children and families need advocates. They need a concerned body of individuals who are willing to champion their rights and fight for advances in services that benefit children.
They need you.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in 2003, approximately 906,000 children were victims and an estimated 1,500 children died of abuse or neglect.
Locally, according to Colorado Association of Family and Children's Agencies (CAFCA), children in Colorado desperately need protection and care. Recently released statistics from 2005 include:
In 2005, apporoximately 30,000 children were reported abused or neglected and referred for investigation in Colorado.
Out of that number, nearly 9,000 cases were substantiated or indicated as abused. Twenty-one percent suffered physical abuse, 46.6% neglect, 1.4% medical neglect, 11.5% sexual abuse, 5% psychological maltreatment and 18% other or unknown.
Boys and girls are equally likely to be abused or neglected.
Approximately 80% of child abuse is perpetrated by a parent or caregiver.
An average of 20 children in Colorado die from suspected abuse or neglect every year.
Children under the age of 4 account for 75% of all child abuse deaths.
Neglect occurs more frequently than abuse and can be equally damaging and deadly. 30% of all child fatalities are due to neglect.
11,927 children spent some portion of 2005 in substitute (foster) care.
Approximately 1,500 abused and neglected children receive intensive, rehabilitative mential health services in residential programs.
The majority of children in residential care have been victims of significant physical or sexual abuse.
Do these numbers frighten you? They should. And it's only getting worse everyday. What price must children pay before you and I do something about child abuse?
Article courteousy of Tennyson Center for Children
Click on book photo above to see my site, TheOldPeople.us!
Inspiring Poem From My Book-The Old People
If just for one day I could walk again, or run throughout the hills, if I could do all of those things I'd dreamed of and never did, then the suffering would all be worth it in the end. If for only just a moment I could stand atop the highest mountain and see the angels fly, if I could feel the summer wind blowing against my face, instead of living life as though I were in a race.
If just for one night I could dance again, and twirl about the stage, the most magical music would forever play, as my soul and my spirit would be so free and so gay. If just one last time I could feel your warm breath and touch your soft lips with kisses, your eyes would light up as flames of the fire, I would say I was strong, when you really made me weak, and I would be but a liar.
If just for one morning I could make a difference, in someone elses life, I would spread all of the love and kindness around, and graciously give all of the joy I had found. If I could go back just 10 years ago, every day would be lived as though it were my last, why must we waste so much precious time, until our future becomes our past.
©2003 by Christina
The Old People: Mastering the art of love and care through their experiences & stories
DAYTON DAILY NEWS ARTICLE ABOUT MY BOOK
Dayton Daily News-LIFE SECTION
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Christina (above), author of a book about the elderly, visits with Lorraine Liesenhoff.
Ron Alvey, Dayton Daily News Photo
*What: The Old People: Mastering the art of love & care through their experiences & stories, by Christina(Publish America; $16.95 through February, $19.95 thereafter).
*For information: Contact Christina at [email protected] or visit her website, www.theoldpeople.us
*Public appearances: Second and fourth Thursdays of every month, including Feb. 26, hand massage and manicures from 9 to 10 a.m. at Golden Age Senior Center in Xenia, 130 E. Church St., and 11 a.m. to noon at Beavercreek Senior Center, 3696 Highmont St.
*Book signing and talk: 7 p.m. May 4 at Books & Co., 350 E. Stroop Road, Town & Country Shopping Center, Kettering.
THROUGH AN ELDER'S EYES
By Kevin Lamb
[email protected]
Christina's empathy for older people began as a child's fascination.
She was 7 or 8 when her grandmother started taking her along to visit a friend in a nursing home. The sights and sounds and pungent smells were all new to her. People stared blankly and groaned loudly.
'Young woman has clear insight into the hearts, heads of seniors'
"They looked sad and lonely," she said, "and I wanted to know why. I was very curious about what their lives were like. It made me sad to see other people sad, and I wanted to make them happy. I wanted to see if I could bring a smile to their face, do something about their loneliness."
The interest continued long after her grandmother's friend died — through teenage friendships with her grandmother's contemporaries, to her 1995 career choice of nurses' aide in nursing homes and the recent publication of her book, The Old People: Mastering the Art of Love and Care Through Their Experiences and Stories.
"In every chapter, I tried to be the person I was writing about," said Christina, a 31-year-old Dayton resident and Centerville High School grad.
The book is a fictional collection of short stories from the first-person perspectives of residents, family members and employees in retirement communities. Christina had written journals most of her life, and wanted to illustrate the emotional and physical needs of the elderly by conveying how they think. Her characters have lost much of what defined them outwardly, along with their possessions and control of their lives, but they still think of themselves as the prime adults of their memories, reliving the good ones and releasing the bad.
"I really like the book," said Beverley Laubert, Ohio's Long-Term Care Advocate. "The way she wrote the book so it sounds like the people's experiences, I believe she's right on target. It lets people know what it's like to live by someone else's schedule and turn on the call light and wait and wait and wait."
Christina, who does home care and community relations for ComForcare Senior Services, will talk March 4 at the state Ombudsman Continuing Education Seminar, because Laubert said she understands seniors' quality of life is as important as their more heavily emphasized quality of care. More than half a dozen senior centers and retirement homes have invited Ferris to speak to employees, residents or families.
"I believe when you get older, your body ages and you learn more, but when I turn 80 I'll be the same person I am now," she said.
"Nursing homes are necessary. But the reality is, it's not anyone's dream to live in a nursing home. Let's say you lost your home, you were no longer in charge of your decision-making, you couldn't drive, every time you took a step it hurt, you could hardly hear and hardly see. Everything in your life the way you knew it would be gone. Sometimes they're mourning the loss of a loved one. Sometimes they're mourning the loss of themselves."
Alice, the 102-year-old in Christina's book who hears herself called a living vegetable, understands why workers at the home don't think of the shell on her bed as a former model and church secretary who liked to dance, sing and take long walks in the park. But do they have to discuss her odor as if she's merely a toppled garbage can? Just because she can't move or communicate doesn't mean she doesn't crave the human touch and voice like anyone else.
"I'm sure that you can understand what a living hell this is, trapped in a body that no longer works," Alice says.
Millie is the wife of an Alzheimer's patient, her bed suddenly colder with her companion of 78 years moved to a nursing home. She understands why nurses don't like the abusive man her demented husband has become. They didn't know the gentle, caring, respectful man who never forgot the death of his 3-year-old son. They don't realize why his frequent nightmares end in melancholy screams, that "he is actually seeing and experiencing Jimmy's death all over again."
Sometimes caring for the elderly takes some detective work, Ferris said. She recalled a woman who never left her room, regarded by the staff as an unfriendly recluse. Putting things in her drawers one day, she saw some old makeup and realized why the woman kept to herself.
"After I started helping with her hair and makeup, she'd walk down the hall really proud," Christina said. "Sometimes you can do little things to make people feel a little more independent. Maybe you can just open their closet instead of grabbing their clothes out. Or if they can walk a little bit, instead of wheeling them to the dining room, take the time to walk with them."
Christina knows how it feels to lose her independence. She was hospitalized for about six months at 17. Anorexia and bulimia literally reduced her to half her former self, 67 pounds. As her parents spent more than they had on her recovery, doctors told them that such a headstrong girl had little chance of surviving.
"I know what it's like to have no privacy and have people check on you all day and all night," she said, "to have people watch you go to the bathroom, to have scheduled times to take your shower, and to be told when to eat and how much and when you had to go to bed and wake up. I learned how it felt to be sick and to feel very lonely. I've cried so many times, alone, and had no one to hold me or tell me it would be OK."
As a teenaged anorexic, isolating herself from people her own age, she turned to older ones to confide in. Now she returns the favor, trying to take time to listen, to be a safe repository for feelings that piled up over decades. "Sometimes when we know it's our last days and we have all this time to think, that stuff from the past begins to come out," she said.
It's easy not to think about older people at all, she knows, let alone why they do what they do. It's easier to dismiss them as gnarled and grumpy and get on with life, forgetting that the elderly by definition have learned a thing or two about living.
"Anybody who's made it to 70 or 80 must know something I don't," she said. "So I'm going to listen. When we eventually get there, we're going to have to deal with that old person in the mirror every day."
Contact staff writer Kevin Lamb at 225-2129 or [email protected].
I posted this Dayton Daily News article to tell you a little bit more about the "woman" behind this web page and "some" of the things that I've been through that make me who I am today. I did not post this as an advertisement, or to brag in any way, shape or form. Just to show you more about "who I am" and "what I do." And also, of course, to speak out for the elderly. You could say that I care about the old, and the young. God bless you! -Christina
