Eric

Wow, this is unexpected. You read the above heading "About Me" and decided that the picture, and various other information about Eric Seiffert that are listed on this page are not quite enough. You say to yourself, "His favorite movie is Ghostbusters, but what's he really like?" You want to know more about me. That gives me a special feeling, and I thank you for it. Know that you don't have to read this. No really...you can stop. Oh, alright, if you insist on reading, I will give you some extra info on myself. I warn you. It's boring. Trying to know more about me is like peeling an orange. The effort isn't worth the payoff. But if you like oranges, and still want to know, I am glad to oblige. You will first find that I like to use bad metaphors to express myself. So, with that said, I will strike a match and lead you down the dark halls of my mind. Watch your step, and don't steal my shit. The first thing (or second thing for those of you keeping score) you should know is that I'm fantastic in bed. By this I mean I'm a very accomplished sleeper. I once napped for four hours, and then just to show off, napped for another three. I've napped with several women in my time, and they all say it was the best they'd ever had. If it's one thing I do well, it's put women to sleep. I'm a good listener. This can actually be sort of a burden if you're listening to people who aren't talking to you. They say it's "eaves-dropping", I say it's just being polite. When I talk, I'd like to be listened to. I usually don't though, so as not to give away my hiding place. I like to brag that I can balance my check book in my head. My friends, however, are quick to point out that adding and subtracting in one's head isn't that hard when numbers only two digits long are all you have to worry about. I'm a career student. I pretty much go to school for a living. People always ask me, "How'd you get in that line of work?" It's hard to explain. I really kind of fell into it. I started young, and I think that helps. I remember I went to the interview. I was five, and it was intense. They showed me a shape, I said, "It's a square", they said, "Correct," and I've been doing this ever since. I like drugs and punctuation. I think this works out, because to fully appreciate punctuation, being on drugs helps. I have three little sisters, so I consider myself an expert on the feminine mind. I know that if more than two girls live in the same house, they will steal each others shit. Living with three sisters, I learned it's bad to beat up a girl. I learned it's worse to get beat up by a girl, because that hurt is psychological, as well as physical. I learned that having a penis does not make me stronger than a girl. In fact, it's really more of a handicapp since a kick to the area presents a very convenient way of ending an argument. Ahhh, the memories. One special memory of mine is of trying to but a lighter at the age of thirteen, and being denied because the store didn't sell "cigarette accessories" to minors. I tried to explain that I wasn't going to use the lighter to smoke, but just like to burn stuff. It didn't work. Man, you have a high tolerance for Eric info. That's all I want to share for now. Maybe more later. If you buy me a cup of coffee, I'll tell you whatever you want to know if you're still curious. Hell, I might even follow you home.