I can speak 17 foreign languages. I can do the hundred-metre sprint in under 10 seconds. I can hold my breath for over 5 minutes. I am rich. I am famous. I am a considerate lover. I can explain the offside rule to you. I made my first million on the stock market at 16. In my spare time I help old ladies across the road and save kittens stuck in trees. I can scale walls, I can leap buildings. I am impervious to bullets. I have lived in London, Paris and New York. At the age of 5 I understood calculus and trigonometry. I am a champion bear wrestler and a tamer of wild horses. My first novel was a bestseller, and has been published in over 30 different countries. You can find my autobiography in your local bookstore in January. I am above average. I am Mr Right. I am your new best friend. Your Mother will love me and your Gran will bake me cookies to take home. I can program videos recorders. I can assemble Ikea furniture.
I still can't understand why London buses always come in threes though.
