Comfortably Kimmi

I am a writer, first and foremost. I love my friends and family. My life is most important to me, you can join if you'd like.
My idol is Tim Burton. He perfectly catches the emotions of the outcast and puts it on film. He beautifully expresses his thoughts and feelings and his creativity is a godsend for those like me who really need to get away for two hours and come back feeling better then we left and not so alone.
My favorite movie is either Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands but Sweeney Todd is coming up fast on the both of them.
I love the Nightmare Before Christmas, but I also loved it in 1999. Meaning? Meaning... think carefully before you get Jack tattooed on your ass because trust... the scenes will change.
If you know me you know I believe only two things are necessary for a successful friendship. Trust and Respect. And I live by that.
~*Life is so Much Better Unscripted*~
..:Quotes:..
"Genius is the insane man's mind"
"I want to die so I can tell god he doesn't exist"
"Dude, Stephen your moms a beached whale"
"Dizamn somebody got stright fucked up"
Me:i told you shep dop dat
Nick: Shep dop?
Me: Gimmi a break im a blonde
Nick: So
Me: Im a stoner
Nick: Oh yeah Im blonde and i smoke the reefer you can blame me for being a moron
Jay: Kim your pregnant
Me: I am!?!?
Jay: Yea, and im not payin for the baby
Me: What!!! *starts to cry* fuck you
Jay: Im just playing girl your trippin dont listen to me
Me: fuck you
Jay: yeah get on your kneez
Me: Fuck man
Kevin: What?
Me: Fuck MAAAAN
Kevin: Oooooooooooh ok. What?
Me: stop youll pop a brain cell
*silence*
Ryan: OKAY EVERYONE SHUT UP
Me: COCKADOODLEDOO!
Ross: WTF!
Me: WAKE UP!
Ross: I wasn't even sleeping
Me: Well go to bed
Ross: Ok
Me:COCKADOODLEDOO
Ross: your high arent you
Me: me? never. I dont do that shit
Ross: *laughs hysterically*
Me: hes cute!
Cute dude: im selling perfume blah blah
Meesh: I can get that for half that price at walmart
Cute dude: well what do you want then?
Me and Meesh: How about a number
Cute dude: i dont think my gf would like that
Me: dizam somebody got stright fucked up
Meesh: yeah you
Me: oh
*the cat rattles the door and shay d and i are shrooming*
Shay D: *with finger up nose* stop hitting the door!
Me: *giggles*
Shay D: what stop door now!
Me: *Laughs hysterically* pull your finger out of your nose and ill tell you
Shay D: i was wondering where that was amazing where you find things STOP WITH THE FUCKING DOOR
Smokey the cat: Meow?
Shay D: AHHHHHH its a monster named smokey and hes in my room we must all die now
Me: whatever
*Chase and I fucked up in my moms car trying to act sober*
Mom: how was the movie
Chase: It was great ms. mcintyre
Me: How do advertisement agencys advertise?
Mom: What?
Me: I no feel good *pukes*
Chase: Bad batch of popcorn
*we exit the car*
Me: the mouse was gonna get me in there
Chase:what mouse
Me: the arrow it was chasing me it wanted to delete me
Chase: wtf
Me: NOW!
*i dont remember much but chase told me*
*Stefanie Chase and I at the movies*
Chase: Kim Ill give u 2 blunts if you go around trying to make friends
Me: ok
*grabs stefs hand*
Me and stef: Will you be our friend?
Guy: will there be benifits?
Us: Nope
Guy: I have enough friends
*i trip him and he falls face first into his popcorn*
Me: Frankie....... will you drive me home?
Frankie: No
Me: Pleeeeeeease
Frankie: No
Me: But I walked all the way over here
Frankie: Well why did you do that
Me: Im showing effort. EFFORT! effort now!
Me: Wheres Hype?
Round-up: I dunno
Me: hmm
Hype: Hey girl *hugs me*
Me: Hey! Do I know you?
Hype *moves his hat*
Me: OMG I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU
Hype: I dont think you woulda found me
blckBMWm3: i should be like
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: im online
blckBMWm3: RITA!!! CURTS SISTER, KRISTI iS GETING MARRIED!
blckBMWm3: and see what she says
blckBMWm3: she will smile and say... oh thats great....
blckBMWm3: hehe
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: shell br like so
blckBMWm3: hehe, and then i will just switch to another random subject and be like... and thats why we reported the dog problem to the village because they pissed on our lawn
blckBMWm3: LOL
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol
Chase: im bored
Me: Im goin to sleep
Chase: No bad
Me: I need something to say to a virgin who doesnt know hes a virgin
Laura: I bet you bought stds to make it look like you got laid
Me: I love you
Me: Omg Shut up!
Stephen: Calm down!
Me:Do you ever notice how the people telling u to calm down are the people who made you mad in the first place?
*everyones drunk*
Kurt: *singing* if i only could id set the world on fire fuck the world FUCK THE WORLD
Kurt: I wrote that
Chase: mmmhmm
Me: You should sell that to ICP they might make a song out of it
Me: *on the pc*
Lil sis: Are you done, how about now, how about now?
Me: NO!
Lil sis: *walks out and back in* Poo came out of my butt
Me: GREAT now find a way to shove it back up there
Fat Bitch: *flashes cars* whooooo
Trucker: SHOW ME YOUR PUSSY YOU FAT WHORE
Fat Bitch: WHOOOOOO
Me and Chase: WTF?
Chase: this ice is so good
Chase: Mmm water
Me: * stares *
Mom: you guys arent doing nothing naughty are you
Chase: No kims like my sister *lights insent*
Mom: Do i smell insest?
Me: WTF?
*being high and trying to chill*
*computer bings*
Me: No one can go alone
Me: NOOOOO
Me: 50 ppl follow making that kabink noise
*Fucked up walking home*
Chase: Im hungry
Me: Im not
Chase: lets go to fat bitches house
Me: WTF why?
Chase: Maybe we can pop her and mashed potatos will fall out and we can watch her eat them again lol
Me: WTF?
Chase: Then shell give us some of her food
Me: lol
*Hunting ghost in the forest at 3 am*
Chase: let go of me and dont say anything
Me: Dude people are following me
Chase: Then blood will squirt out everywhere
*another time*
Chase: your not gonna believe this
Chase: I opened the fridge and blood quirted out everywhere
Me: WTF?
*me and chase trippin*
Mom: *in the bathroom* WHERES MY PEN
Me: why were you taking a shit?
Mom: Yeah and I can't find my pen
*all smoking*
Joe: Dude I need that thing in my profile that says i dont smoke weed
*takes a hit*
Me: *giving a speach about a pool* So this was previously owned by the previous owner who previously owned this Previously it was said to be previously clean but previously a girl died in here now what happens is people come here to swim and have fun FUCK *runs away*
Me: Gimmie a ciggarette yeah?
Chase: *laughs*
Me: No give me a fucking ciggarette
Mom: If your bad no cigs
Chase: *laughs hysetrically*
*me and mom stare*
Chase: she said cig *laughs again*
*me and mom shrug*
Chase: *hangs up on frankie*
Me: FUCK FUCKITY WHY YOU WHORE ASS
Chase: say something in norwegian
Me: tell my mom holtien sheftian sinnean
Chase: What's that mean
Me: I love you
Chase: ok *shouts* RITA HOLD THE CHEFS IN SATIN!
Me: *giggles*
Mom: ok?
Chase: whats it mean
Me: bad stuff
Chase: like.......
Me: like all bad words together like fuck you whore bitch skanks
Chase: lol ok wait you whore i just said that to your mom
Me: Kinda
Chase: Come over to my house early in the morning
Kim: like 6
Chase: yeah we can sleep for a while
Kim: sleep? how?
Chase: well close your eyes lol
Chase:*talks*
Me: heres the problem with that..........*waits 20 minutes*
Chase: hello?
Me: i just realized i stopped talking
*everyones high*
Me: Dude *laughs* theres no cops shut up
Kevin: Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.
Me: O.....k?
Kevin: I'm not paraniod... but I know that you think I am.
Me: *laughs*
*all high*
Joe: if a rooster lays an egg on a roof which way does it fall?
Kevin: roosters dont lay eggs
Kim: your gay i got a better one
Kim: If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse?
Everyone: WTF?
Kim: None! Ice cream doesn't have bones.
Everyone: umm ok?
Me: If a tree falls in the woods... Do all the other trees laugh at it?
Joe: huh?
Joe: Dude I need to get high
Me: I'm sure theres something around the house to get you high look through your moms shit
Joe: Nah my moms like a big hippie so she wouldnt do that shit
Me: WTF?
Kevin: ok everyone to joes house!
Chase: I smelled food cooking. And there is little chickens in my stove. I'll wait till their done.
Me: I got hacked up cow in mine lol.
Chase: I saw Danielle today
Me: I'm happy for fat bitch that she found goth. Now she can hide the fact that shes naturally ugly
Chase: You smoked that fast.
Me: The faster you smoke a ciggarette the faster you can light another one.
Me: Are you a juggalo?
Kid in Hall: Yes?
Me: lies you sack of shit.
Me: I dont have lunch money
David: That sucks
Me: so what are we having?
Mike: Your kitti cant hear....
Me: I noticed
Ariel: There's a baby in my stomach
Me: OMG you ate a baby too?
Commercial: Having a blast here is easy. Well having a blast here is cheezy.
Joe: omg that was so cheezy
Chase: Did you have sex with Curt?
Me: No way ewww!
Chase: good cuz Curt has aids
Me: (screams and cries) OMG I HAVE AIDS (bashes stephs nose in)
Chase: just kidding
Me: u suck
Me: Dude I think I oded on my happy pills
Liz: Huh
Me: Im happy and thats not normal
Liz: WTF are you talking about your always happy
Me: Oh... we're okay then
Shannon: I think your socks are on upside down
Me: My teacher lets me call him justin instead of mr whatever
Mom: Well if he rapes you will you tell me
Me: Yes
Mom: Okay what do you want for dinner?
Stephen: I have to go to sleep
Me: NO
Stephen: Yes you go to sleep
Me: I dont need sleep
Stephen: Fine then you stay up all night and play with your peanut factory
Me: Im a peanut
Robbie: Im a glass of water
Me: Yay Im a taco now
Robbie: Im a teradactal!
Me: No your taco sauce
Robbie: I like to hump 44 dead llamas?
Me: okay?
Me: George Im so pissed at you
George: but...
Me: dont talk im talking dont fuck around i dont give a fuck who you are
George: but...
Me: you dont fuck with my friends asshole
George: but...
Me: WHAT?!
George: My names David
Me: oh
Me: (calling meesh at 3 am) Dude im fucking stoned
Steph: Youll be fine
Me: I know.... dude im in the back of a car in michigan man
Steph:........your calling from your house phone
Me: I am? Oh well im in michigan
Orhay: I smoke wheat everyday
Joe: Does that get you high
Orhay: huh?
Me: Okay dont talk i just wanna tell you that i have a major crush on you and ive liked you for the longest and id do anything to be your girl
Matt: Kim.... were already going out
Me: Oh wow that was fast
Me: Hurry fucker
Bobby: Im going as fast as i can
Me: COME ON
Joe: (walks in) cum on what?
Me: Im so fucking pissed
Mr. A: Watch your language
Me: I fucking hate teachers
Mr. A: Okay?
Me: Mr. Stones a bitch and he yelled at me and i didnt do anything
Mr. A: Okay calm down
Me: You are all bitches what the fuck are they feeding you in the lounge. You guys can't get you heads out of your asses.
Mr. A: Are you finished.
Me: yeah im done
Mr. A: Please go out in the hall
Me: Okay
Mr. Stone: Okay guys were gonna talk about the problems in the story
Kasha: The hobos are taking over the city
Mr. Stone: Yes the homos are taking over the city *bust out laughing* I said homos!
Mr. Stone: So Kim what exactly does black winter mean?
Me: Like what do you mean. Like what does it mean?
Mr. Stone: Uhh yeah
Me: Well black winter means well like what do you mean like what it is?
Mr. Stone: Yes kim
Me: Oh its a black winter
Mr. Stone: Anyone else?
Mr. Stone: Kim why forshadows the massive carnage
Me: The drop of blood
Patel: Kim talks to much
Mr. Stone: Mr Patel......
Patel: she...
Mr. Stone: Shut up Patel
Patel: She always has something to say you always call her
Mr. Stone: Her grades are better then yours you should try it
Taylor: Matts my bitch
Me: Okay
Matt: what about matt?
Taylor: Your my bitch
Matt: No im kims bitch
Me: okay
Mom: Why are the windows foggy
Chase: You dont wanna know
Me: I do
Kimbo: My house burnt down
Me: Nu-uh
Kimbo: Yeah it did
Me: You lie
Kimbo: For real all my shits gone it sucks
Me: OMG for real
Kimbo: Nah
Girl: OMG your cousins hot
Me: which one
Girl: the one your with in the hall
Me: i dont have a cousin here
Girl: Oh wrong girl
Me: Bitch how many people in this school look like me?
Girl: Um none
Me: Thank you
Girl: Okay bye
Me: I gtg soon
Joe: (hour later) i though u said u had to go
Me: i did
Joe: Why arent you gone
Me: I didnt say psychically
Cooley: Will you be a bitch to me
Me: Shut the fuck up i aint into that shit
Cooley: Yeah i like it like that
Mom: Ill mess you up
Me: Ill bash your teeth in so hard your dentist will feel it
Mom: Your a toad
Me: Ill slap you so hard your momma will feel it
Mom: So what do you want for dinner
Me: my mom asked me what the most offensive halloween costume would be and i said jesus with a strap on and she got offended
Robbie: Lol thats halarious
Me: Shut up morgan you dont know what your talking about
Don: Yeah morgan eat a cack
Me and Morgan: Huh?
Don: Eat a cack!
Me: eat a cat?
Don: yup eat a cack its cock and cat so its great for every situation
Meesh: Dude i spelled dude wrong
Me: What do you need to spell dude for?
Meesh: A school paper
Me: Huh? Whats it about
Meesh: Shakespeare
Me: Oh well whats the sentence read me the paragraph
Meesh: Shakespeare was a cool dude
Me: um go on
Meesh: no thats all i got
Me: D - U - D - E
Meesh: thanks this papers gonna rock
Me: Its gonna do something alright
Dan: Lets have sex
Me: *with a peice of bread in my mouth* huh?
Dan: *throws everything off the table* lets have sex now!
Mom: *yells down stairs* whats going on down there?
Dan: Nothing Ms. McIntyre kim was coming onto me
Me: what?
"nicky, kim and chase high"
Nicky: We're going to Denny's, OK? Bye!
Grandparents: Wait, weren't you just there??
*Door slams*
Nikki: hand me the bag...
Kim: *grabs plastic grocery bag*
Nikki: no not that bag!
Kim: oh *grabs weed bag*
Chase:what if i told you i talk to your moms, brothers, nieces, uncles brothers room mate?
Me: lol what
Taylor: Why do you smoke weed
Me: Why dont you?
Taylor: You suck
Steff: Shush hes just a freshman
Me: So you make fun freshman too
Steff: How?
Me: Oh ill think of something and when i do you better watch out
Me: My friend said her socks were on upside down
Liz: ........o...k..... OH UPSIDE DOWN lol!
*beep*
Stephen: Hello? Hello!
Kim: Why arent u talking?
Stephen: i dunno i just forgot
Mom: Son of a bitch mother fucker
Me: what son of a bitch mother fucker
Mom: Watch...my mouth
Mom: listen listen listen
Me: monday monday monday!!!
Mom: you made me laugh so hard i just farted
Me: we have no ace cubes
Mom: i took them all
Mom: oww my ass itches its a sign of getting older code your ass much itch and you shall scratch it
Me: wait what?
Meesh: This shit tastes so good
Me: It numbs my lips
Meesh: it numbs my body........which is why i feel like im pissing all over myself
blckBMWm3: i got this new song called
blckBMWm3: this is how we do
blckBMWm3: great shit
blckBMWm3: im black
blckBMWm3: as long as im playing this song, haha
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol
blckBMWm3: 50 cent did it again, i hate him, but i love this song
blckBMWm3: i wanna kill eminem
blckBMWm3: cuz hes an asshole
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: im s9o sick
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: im delirious
blckBMWm3: dilarious, lol, i love that word
blckBMWm3: its actually spelled delirious tho
blckBMWm3: cuz im an idiot
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: cuz ur an idiot? lol
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: u know how to spell cuz ur an idiot lol
blckBMWm3: look how i spelled it before tho
blckBMWm3: blckBMWm3: dilarious, lol, i love that word
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol
blckBMWm3: if i ever died, would u try to talk to me
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol wtf
blckBMWm3: would u like do some ritual shit to talk to me
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: omg this convo is goin to the quotes
blckBMWm3: hahaha
blckBMWm3: im laughin over here
blckBMWm3: must be the nicotine
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol
blckBMWm3: or the weather
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol the weather
blckBMWm3: remember when u tripped on the dishwasher and ur mom was like... you fuckin broke it!!!
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: lol yeah
blckBMWm3: she didnt even care about u
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: i was gonna kil her
blckBMWm3: thatw as funny
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: she ran to the dishes
blckBMWm3: hahahah'
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: and waslike oh no u broke it
blckBMWm3: LOL
blckBMWm3: ur mom is funny
xXMoNoXiDeZXx: i guess :-(
Chinese Lady: You put cigarette in tobassco... you come back now
Chase: Lady its 3 am
Chinese Lady: I dont care you come back now
Chase: But
Chinese lady: MARDAR MARDAR YOU MARDER PEOPLE!
Chase: Um what?
Chinese lady: Take fortune cookie okay bye.
Me: Look theres a black man outside I should run before he shoots me with his gat
Steph: *laughs hysterically* that was the whitest thing i ever heard
Me: Kiddining
Me: your fuckin weird
Polta: Im not fucking weird Im fucking Poltageist
Joe: Kim, your like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Kim: Awww, do you want to have sex?
*Steph Snores*
Me: Steph! Steph! Wake up! I need a pillow or that blanket!
Steph: Yeah, yeah, hold on
*Steph Snores*
Me: Stephanie don't go back to sleep I need a pillow or that blanket!
Steph: Gimmie a minute
*Steph Snores*
Me: Steph just give me the blanket
*Steph hands me a box of grandcrackers*
*Steph Snores*
Me: NO! Stephanie! I asked for the blanket not gramcrackers. This isn't going to work!
Steph: What? That? *points to blanket*
Me: Yes!
Steph: But thats a blanket!
Me: I KNOW! I been asking you for it.
Steph: ugh, hold on.
*Steph gets the blanket*
*Steph Snores*
My Computer: You're computer may be infected with worms or a virus. Click here to hear about our new virus scan service.
Me: Don't..... say that again.
*Nikki's aim chat box pops up*
Nikki@.. ello Kim
Me: *speaking out loud* Nikki don't im me, you know better then that, don't talk to me, bad nikki, no
Joe: I sure hope shes telepathic
Gina: Fuck you Ryan. You ain't shit.
Ryan: Fuck you, I'll eat your cereal and drink your orange juice, Bitch.
Me: Joe BUKKAKI! mom do you know what bukkaki is?
Mom: no tell me
me: no
Mom: what is it
me: when a guy comes on a girls face
mom: what a waste!
Me: MOM!
mom: er... it says so in the bible. It says thou shalt not let thou little soldiers go down the drain
me: IT DOESNT TALK ABOUT YOUR LITTLE SOLDIERS IN THE BIBLE!
mom: no it says your little men shall not venture the drain
mom: it says it in the bible
*meesh laughs hysterically*
me: nice try mom
joe: yeah the bible says so
*Joe is at work and accidently forgets a black man is in the car waiting for his food, so he brings it to him"
Black man: you forgot me its cause im black aint it
Joes Manager: *joe starts walking away* say something dont just walk away
Joe" *yells to the black guy* YUP!
Me: mike theres a croccidile behind you
Mike: Ohh *sings jaws theme*
Meesh: thats for a shark!
Me: yeah it is
Mike: no its the pink panther theme
Me: nope!
(another occation)
Me: Mike theres a croccadile behind you
Mike: I'll piss on it
*steph laughs*
(another time)
Me: theres a croccadiles behind you
Mike: *laughs throws a rock*
Me: DUDE THIS SHIT SMELLS LIKE OREGANO
Mike: no oregano is brown
Me: NO I COOKED OREGANO LAST NIGHT! it was good like heaven only suckyer
Chase: Ma'am ma'am i am an assifer of the law and i have a right to touch your aminal
Me: i know eh?
Chase: now calm down aint you being televised
Me: what
Chase: your on tv aint you ever heard of televised... dumass lol
Me: i got a splinter right here
Meesh: thats your nose
Me: dude i need batterys
Meesh: Batteries?
Me: *sings* BATTERIES.
*meesh joins in and they continue to sing*
Kim: *high as a mother fucker trying to act like her and meesh were sober* Dude dude listen *giggles* listen *giggles* You know?
Meesh: what are you talking about?
Kim: shhhhhhhhhhh! the internet
Me: shhhhh... do you hear the rats?
Meesh: do you hear the rats crawling
Me: they are in your hair
Meesh: they are in our mind
(and so on)
Meesh: Dude there is cops outside
Me: shut up for us?
Meesh: no dude look
(continued watching for an hour)
*Chase grabs stuff off his lap like his cell and his wallet and shoots me a look*
Chase: I just grabbed my dick i thought it was my wallet but it wasnt
Kim: o...k?
Chase: put that in your profile
Kim: its too risque...
Chase: whats that
Kim: sexy and bad
Chase: when isnt your profile sexy and bad?
kim: good point
Kim: do you think diaz will come?
Meesh: He will if he thinks hes getting laid
Kim: Oh but
*meesh falls*
Meesh: I missed the toilet.
Kim: that was such a steph thing i give you props
Meesh: Yeah it was!
Mom: order me a meatball sub....
Joe: butter on that fatty?
Mom: YEAH! I want butter on my balls!
Steph: OMG! Mom wants buttery balls!
Me: *shockie face*
*Me, kyle, charlie, and some chick in the forrest in kyles Bug all high*
*kyle makes out with chick*
Kyle: Its quiet... kim?
Kim: yeah?
Kyle: sup?
Kim: Nodda whole lot
Kyle: make out with charlie
Kim: uhh no
Kyle: why
Kim: I have a boy friend
Kyle: oh........ charlie hows that feel. Charlie?
*5 minutes of silence*
Charlie: I got peas on my head but dont call me a pea head i got bees......
Kim: what the fuck
Kyle: dude who the fuck are you! :-D
Charlie: Its my show im schmandy shmilla schmokus
*tons of ppl high me on couch wit billie (bf at the time) everyone else on the floor*
Mike: (rolls over to see me right by my face) You wanna have sex?
Me: what?
Mike: yeah! that sounds good right? (laughs)
Me: what the hell? *LOOKS AT BILLIE*
Billie: what......... the fuck.?.
Mike: Do you guys have a baby.
Me and Billie: No
Mike: see he couldnt do it *to billy* Let me artificially insiminate her
Billie: what?
Me: Insiminate?
Billie: you want my jizz on ur dick?
Mike: Nah fag! I make the baby you keep it.
Me: Insiminate?
Billie: what? no
Mike: Just once. no? okay
Me: Insiminate?!? Mike are you high? Yeah? Do you even know what your talking about?
Mike: What? No. Am I talking?
Me: Yes *laughs*
Mike: Why?
Me: I dunno but im happy your as blown as i am. because that was i think the worst pick up line i ever heard. Insiminate?
Mike: I said that? Fuck. lol
Joe: What pants do you wanna wear baby? Betty boop or tinker bell.
Me: betty boop you broke tink...theres no string
Joe: there are people that fix these things. *cartman voice* I'll be like yo you fix my baby girls pants or I'll kick you in the nuts and they will be like ahhh my nuts and ill be like yeah i kicked you.
Me: *going on the bonzi water slide at seabreeze* So how do i do this?
Lifeguard: You cross your arms and ankles.
Me: Ankles? Why?
Lg: It stops the wedgie
Me: Wedgie GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT *GETS PUSHED DOWN BY JOE*
Me: *yelling even though LG can't hear* IT DOESN'T HELP. I JUST GOT A COLONOSCOPY!
Nicole: You wanna smoke dave?
Dave: Where'd you get green from?
Nicole: Don't worry about it.
Dave: No really. Is it someone I know?
Nicole: Yes.
Dave: Do I live with them?
Nicole: No
Dave: Who?
Nicole: What do you think I was doing outside?
Dave: I dunno what were you doing outside?
Nicole: I was touching myself......... and people were throwing weed at me.
Hatchie: Its magical like lucky charms.... except less gay.
Me: "i hate every bone in your body except mine"
Loc: lol iunno about all that
Me: i heard that today
Loc: if you're on some self hate shit
Loc: i could do that for ya
Loc: but ya know
Loc: gotta love yourself homes
Me: you dont get it
Loc: no I get it lol
Me: i hate every BONE in your body except my BONE-R
Loc: ...
Loc: yah kim
Loc: way to go
Loc: you just explained a dick joke to a guy
Me: lol
Me: now you laugh
ComfortablyKimmi: I must make my leave
ComfortablyKimmi: *POOF*
LoCthauncanny: ...
LoCthauncanny: okay
LoCthauncanny: i know you're still around
ComfortablyKimmi: *POOF*
ComfortablyKimmi: I AM BACK!
LoCthauncanny: wb
LoCthauncanny: you never left
ComfortablyKimmi: I poofed away
ComfortablyKimmi: didn't you see?
LoCthauncanny: haha cause i'm too damn good
LoCthauncanny: just admit it
LoCthauncanny: and not sarcastically either
LoCthauncanny: lol
LoCthauncanny: i might be the shit but I still have feelings lmmfao
ComfortablyKimmi: not until you admit you want my body
LoCthauncanny: lol
LoCthauncanny: and what if I did?
ComfortablyKimmi: Then I'd admit you were "too damn good"
LoCthauncanny: too damn good for what
ComfortablyKimmi: for whatever you want me to admit?
LoCthauncanny: lol well idk
LoCthauncanny: what do you want to admit?
ComfortablyKimmi: I don't want to admit anything
LoCthauncanny: well there ya go
ComfortablyKimmi: until you admit that you want my body
LoCthauncanny: lol what if I did want you?
ComfortablyKimmi: I'd say "AHA I KNEW IT" and the conversation would most likely move onto another topic
LoCthauncanny: what topic
ComfortablyKimmi: any topic
ComfortablyKimmi: Ponies perhaps?
LoCthauncanny: i don't like ponies
LoCthauncanny: and I never admited anything haha
ComfortablyKimmi: I don't like that you don't like ponies
ComfortablyKimmi: You should buy me a prepaid cellphone for christmas
LoCthauncanny: lol we're at the stage where we are buying each other xmas gifts?
ComfortablyKimmi: yes
LoCthauncanny: what do i get
ComfortablyKimmi: this relationship is moving increasingly fast
LoCthauncanny: lol
ComfortablyKimmi: you get whatever you want that is under 20 dollars because I'm a poor white girl who doesn't quilify for food stamps
LoCthauncanny: we'll see what happens around xmas
ComfortablyKimmi: just buy me the oystr... its only 14.99
ComfortablyKimmi: the pink one :-)
LoCthauncanny: lol
LoCthauncanny: we'll see
ComfortablyKimmi: lol :-) ok
LoCthauncanny: it's a bad omen you are asking me for shit and we're not even remotely dating
ComfortablyKimmi: i'm not asking
ComfortablyKimmi: i'm simply planting the seed of idea
LoCthauncanny: lol it's asking
ComfortablyKimmi: its planting
ComfortablyKimmi: the seed
ComfortablyKimmi: of idea
LoCthauncanny: aka
LoCthauncanny: asking
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
LoCthauncanny: but not asking
ComfortablyKimmi: or buy me one of those realistic dolls of richard gere
LoCthauncanny: negative
ComfortablyKimmi: the ones that have realistic skin and like dildos attached to them
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
LoCthauncanny: lol
LoCthauncanny: i don't like you planting the seed
LoCthauncanny: feels artificial
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
ComfortablyKimmi: artifical?
ComfortablyKimmi: like artifical planting?
ComfortablyKimmi: artificial insimination?
LoCthauncanny: like it doesn't mean anything to me
LoCthauncanny: lol
LoCthauncanny: like
LoCthauncanny: i give gifts that are like
LoCthauncanny: inside jokes
ComfortablyKimmi: what are you gonna buy me? a roll of duct tape and a plaid skirt?
LoCthauncanny: haha you already have the skirt
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
LoCthauncanny: and I got duct tape
LoCthauncanny: if you're asking for a reenactment
ComfortablyKimmi: im not asking
ComfortablyKimmi: im planting the seed of idea
LoCthauncanny: lol
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
ComfortablyKimmi: i actually loled there
LoCthauncanny: haha whys that
ComfortablyKimmi: i dunno
ComfortablyKimmi: reaction
LoCthauncanny: cause you were "just joking" LOL
ComfortablyKimmi: it's weird
LoCthauncanny: what is
ComfortablyKimmi: when something funny happens
ComfortablyKimmi: i get this weird reaction
ComfortablyKimmi: to laugh
ComfortablyKimmi: odd i know
LoCthauncanny: lmmfao
LoCthauncanny: stfu
LoCthauncanny: smart ass
LoCthauncanny: it's cause you want me
LoCthauncanny: lol
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
LoCthauncanny: you know you do
LoCthauncanny: it's obvious
ComfortablyKimmi: you just don't know me enough
LoCthauncanny: lol alright
ComfortablyKimmi: I obviously want richard gere more
LoCthauncanny: well yeah
LoCthauncanny: but i'm 2nd
ComfortablyKimmi: lol
LoCthauncanny: which makes me first cause you actually have a chance at fucking me
LoCthauncanny: well
LoCthauncanny: you have a chance at gere too
LoCthauncanny: but the effort you would have to put forth
ComfortablyKimmi: really?
LoCthauncanny: is very very great
ComfortablyKimmi: awesome
LoCthauncanny: sure
LoCthauncanny: yeah I'm a positive guy
ComfortablyKimmi: I think that was just a compliment from you
LoCthauncanny: promoting hope for you
ComfortablyKimmi: I might just die
LoCthauncanny: i compliment you all the time
LoCthauncanny: stfu
ComfortablyKimmi: lol kisses
*Kris takes out his cellphone which he was sitting on*
Kris: My ass dialed a number and saved it.
Me: What was it?
Kris: Six.
*The worst way to start off a sentence*
Good Jess: So I was pooping...
Tom: ....bitch Me: lol Me: i know that really means "i love you" in Tom language Tom: it often does