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Zulandra

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

Enjoy the original stories and poetry written by Zulandra. Infusing wit and humor with analogical characters and storylines; be prepared for a visual treat through forms of erotica, violence and twisted theories and ideology.Hidden beneath the stories are doorways to everyday problems, issues and obstacles. So do not be contented by just understanding the "form" of the stories and poetry, dig deeper to reveal the "essence" of it; that only you can grasp.The "Mindfuck Series" is updated every month or whenever Zulandra feels like it.If reading this takes you into a deeper state of negativity, that's not our fucking problem. None of this is related to you; intentionally we would like to make you feel the least important in this world.Leave a comment if you hate it. OUT NOW! SEPTEMBER SERIES
August Series
August Bonus Series
July Series
June Series
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Email: Upon request
MSN: Upon request
Online Portfolio: www.freewebs.com/zulandra

My Interests

SLAM POETS:
Taylor Mali
Sunni Patterson
Rives
Jill Scott
Steve Coleman
Death From Below
INQ
GREAT SPEAKERS:
Malcolm X
Muhammad Ali
Martin Luther King
COMEDIANS:
Dave Chappalle
Flights Of The Conchords
Dane Cook
Mighty Boosh
Rick Gervais
Steve Carell
Jim Carrey
Russell Peters
Kumar
Steve Martin
Mike Myers
Stephen Lynch

I'd like to meet:

THIS GOD OF A WRITEROh and just to let you guys know, I've studied for the knowledge of which I wish to obtain. My school is not in form but of essence. My physical school is on the streets. My knowledge is in books of which I've read, either borrowed, stolen or bought with whatever money that I've earned; serving people that have been to school and graduated with a host of degrees and yet unhappy with their lives, living on borrowed time, hanging out with friends they bought. I salute the cultural need for an education and yet I spit on the teachers that provide verbal subtitles for texts that are meant to be expressed.If you ask me for my educational background, I will show you the strain on my hands, the deep wrinkles of my face and the harden skin on my heels. Do not question my standard of knowledge or for sure I'll bury you with your certificates and graduation papers, that your parents couldn't achieve and of which you don't really need.So don't read my works and go like, "Your writings are good! Where did you study?""Well, I didn't go to school.""Oh really? You must have copied these from somewhere then?"If you end a conversation like that, I will find you and kill you and when I'm done with prison, I will fuck your entire family for life.

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Music:

Pete Tong
Fredde Le Grand
Dirty South
Bob Sinclair
David Guetta
Copyright
Carl Cox
Judge Jules
Armand Van Helden
Unkle, Scratch Perverts
Nic Fanculli
Fall Out Boy
Green Day
Incubus
Michael Buble
Norah Jones
India Arie
The Suns
Electrico
Great Spy Experiment
Aldrin
Effen
Godwin
Sheila On 7
Stevie Wonder
Ray Charles
Billy Holiday
Weezer
Slipknot
Silverchair
Wolfmother
Jets
The Vines
Oasis
Muse
Radiohead
Kasabian
Jackson 5
Butterfly Effect
Deftones
Nirvana
Stoned Temple Pilots
Red Hot Chilli Pepper
Elvis Presley
Dir En Grey

Movies:

What's Eating Gilbert's Grape
Coach Carter
Fight Club
Matrix
Dogma
Scarface
5th Element
The Machinist
Crash
Farenhite 9/11
Bowling For Columbine
Awakening
Big Fish
City Of Gods
Trainspotting
Hooligans
Little Miss Sunshine
Blood Diamond
Sixth Sense
Irreversible
Departed
Happy Feet
The Land Before Time
You've Got Mail
When Harry Met Sally
Dick Tracy
Borat

Television:

That 70's Show
The Simpsons
Family Guy
Golden Girls
Fresh Prince Of Bel Air
Miami Ink
CSI:Miami
Law & Order
Magnum PI (OMG!)
A-Team (OMG! x2)
Curiosity Show (WTF!)
Rara Show
Seinfeld
Friends

Books:

Ayn Rand
Irvine Welsh
Tim Allen
Chuck Palahnuik
Harper Lee
JD Salinger
Paulo Coelho
Eckhart Tolle
Webster

My Blog

SEPTEMBER SERIES - I STAND HERE TODAY (A EULOGY)

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, relatives and friends, guardians and parents of Mr Barlouda Christy. My name is George Fleetwood and we are gathered here today to mark our final respects for a g...
Posted by Zulandra on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 11:05:00 PST

AUGUST BONUS SERIES - A LOYALIST ANTHEM

Inspired by David Fisher, author of "Chicken Shit For The Soul" - The True Meaning of Love.   Hello?Do you remember me?I love you and I am here always. My mobile message reads like my heart. She...
Posted by Zulandra on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 02:07:00 PST

AUGUST SERIES - DEATH JUNKIE

The office space, all 2,174 square foot of it, is bustling with activity. There are office boys running around to fix things that the old coffee-cum-pastry lady just cannot. The printers need paper an...
Posted by Zulandra on Sat, 04 Aug 2007 02:38:00 PST

JULY SERIES - JUST LIKE BUTTER

The television made a rattling noise, much like a choking generator. That piece of visual junk has aged well past its prime, much like the interior of the house.Andrew, he hates it when it's...
Posted by Zulandra on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 03:16:00 PST

WHO AM I?

Friends call me Zul, old friends call me Cheena on any given Sunday and me? I try to avoid Sundays. Music feeds my soul. Like a drug, readily available on an Ipod.  My lunch starts with a bo...
Posted by Zulandra on Mon, 28 May 2007 01:25:00 PST

JUNE SERIES - A RAPE POEM

Who are you?Leave me alone.You are weightless in the dark.I can't see through your teary eyes.No! Get your hands off me!No! God, no!Get off me!No! No! No!Help me please!Someone!Anyone!No! God no!No! N...
Posted by Zulandra on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 11:15:00 PST

SAY SOMETHING FOR HUMANITY MAN!

Say something for humanity you ask me.Say something for...Well, let me tell you what humanity does not want to hear.Humanity does not want to know that he's dying.No, that's not important because ...
Posted by Zulandra on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:00:00 PST

GET THAT MAN! HE HAS A CURE FOR BOREDOM!

I just woke up 15mins ago. I'm starting to notice the fact that I'll wake no earlier than after 12pm, sleep as late as 7am. The wake up routine is not something that I get excited to tell an...
Posted by Zulandra on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 11:27:00 PST

WANNA HEAR SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL?

I'm so pissed tired, I get pissed just thinking about it.A note to all:"When political minders, left wing extremists and social thinkers give up, they don't sit on their porch watching the days g...
Posted by Zulandra on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 10:12:00 PST

A FUCKING GOOD DAY :)

Straighten out, sorted out and an eccentric sense of nonchalant-ness.That's what I've came to acknowledge of my "beingness" of late. That's what I wake up to.Days have been working out just fine. A li...
Posted by Zulandra on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 05:02:00 PST