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Most people have lost a loved one in their lives. The following is from Help Guide.

Grief
You may experience any of the following when you grieve:

numbness, the sense that none of this is real you’re just imagining it

expecting your deceased loved one to come back and be able to resume life as usual

experiencing your loved one communicating with you after death

difficulty paying attention or remembering things as well as you did before your loss

a sense of anger, injustice, vexation or helplessness about your situation

feelings of incredible emptiness, loneliness, self- accusation or despair

guilt—if only you had done more, been nicer, not left home, etc.

The following are typical physical symptoms of grief:

difficulty going to sleep, or waking in the middle of the night

weight loss or gain; over- or under-eating

low energy or fatigue

headaches, chest pain or racing heart

upset stomach or digestive problems

hair loss

Depression
The major warning sign for clinical depression is when you don’t experience even rare moments of pleasure, for extended periods of time.

Symptoms such as these may interfere with your life:

life seems meaningless and you can find nothing pleasing or positive

you are drowning in despair with no relief: no laughter, no smiles … no sense of a future

you have trouble sleeping, or you sleep most of the day

you have a drastic weight loss or gain

you are unable to function in everyday life

you have persistent thoughts of ending your life.

If you are feeling this way, GET PROFESSIONAL HELP! You should go to a doctor to get help.

Denial
Upon hearing bad news, the most common reaction is a feeling of numbness or shock. We may experience disbelief: "That is not possible … there must be some mistake … you must have the wrong person, the wrong medical records … that can't be true or happen to me!" The mind-body has incredible defense mechanisms. If we pretend that something isn’t true, then somehow the blow is softened. At any moment, our loved one could reappear, or so we imagine. Time seems to briefly suspend itself, at least until the cruel reality of the truth sets in.

Anger We may get angry at the messenger who delivers the news, the doctor, the person who caused us this pain (even if that person is now deceased), at anyone we can hold responsible for our grief, even at God. This reaction is perfectly understandable. There is a need to know why this happened and whether the loss could have been prevented. “Who is at fault?” we question. Somehow pointing the finger allows us to divert the pain from the core of our being where it rises up and threatens to overwhelm us. Others may turn their anger inwards and blame themselves for what happened.

Bargaining We may try to negotiate the situation, either with another person involved, or with God: "Please give me one more chance and I promise things will be better … I will change … If you will reverse this, then I will ___ in return." This is kind of magical thinking where we believe our actions will meet with the desired outcome. Some people attempt to strike a deal with their Higher Power: to stop smoking, to find more time to spend with family, to offer an apology that’s long overdue. At some point, though, we face our limitations in holding up our end of the deal. No matter what we say or do, the bitter truth is that things will not go back to the way they were before. And that’s when the next phase hits.

Depression When we realize the loss is real and unchanging, we may sink into a deep sorrow. Though Dr. Kübler-Ross dubbed this phase ‘depression,’ it is more accurate to describe it as more a combination of loss and loneliness and perhaps hopelessness. We may feel remorse or regret, rehearsing over and over what we could have done differently. Or perhaps we feel guilty that we are still able to enjoy life while our loved one no longer can. This intense experience of sadness leaves us with sparse energy for housework or outside activities. It is common to find ourselves sobbing over the smallest little thing or crying for days on end. Whether or not we have a terminal illness, we may feel our life is over. Some may consider or attempt ending their lives.

Acceptance Time, in and of itself, will not heal our wounds. We may miss being able to share our life with that person, no matter how long it’s been since they passed away. We don’t have to forget how much our loved one means to us in order to move on. If we can come to terms with the reality of the situation, recognize it as a fact of our lives, and gradually let go of the struggle against the tide of emotions that we experience, we can move beyond our suffering. Even with our new circumstances, we can find peace within ourselves.

Other losses Later writers have expanded this list of stages, adding Shock, Pain, and Hope in describing our reactions to loss. These stages have also been applied them to other circumstances: the loss of a loved one; grieving after a suicide; the loss of a pet; the loss of a job; the loss of a love relationship.

How long does grieving take? Many spiritual traditions recognize a particular time marker, such as a certain number of weeks or a full year, as a guide for bereavement. For instance, in Judaism, the first year of mourning is broken down in five distinct phases:the time between death and burial the three days that follow, when the family is given space to grieve privately shiva , a weeklong shared mourning with family, friends, and community members shloshim (which includes the shiva), a 30-day period after the burial, in which the bereaved person eases back into life Yahrzeit, the commemoration of the first anniversary of death, at which time the headstone is placed, and things return to normal, relatively speaking

What are some strategies to cope with grief after the loss of a loved one? Death is part of life; hanging on will not prolong your loved one’s life or bring them back. Letting go and surrendering to the grieving experience, with the help of others, will bring comfort and solace. Here are some other areas in which you can ‘grieve well’:Self-expression Physical self-care Emotional self-care Good social support One of the key elements of healthy grieving is allowing your emotions to surface in order to work through them. In the long run, trying to stuff down your feelings—in the belief that they will simply fade with time—is counter-productive. When ignored, grief causes pain that is sometimes so excruciating that people want to numb and escape it through alcohol or medications. But in blocking the grieving process you block the natural return to interest and meaning in life that follows the grieving process and is its real end point.

Take care of yourself through self-expression
Talk. You deserve to express yourself at this difficult time, even though others may discourage or even reprimand you for having a strong emotional reaction. Talk about your loved one to others or to God (and encourage them to do so, too). If they are uncomfortable, gently let them know that part of your healing process is getting it off your chest.

Write. Start or continue writing in a journal or diary. You may want to compose a letter to the deceased person to describe how you feel and ‘say’ things you never got to say. Some questions to write about: how would you spend the rest of your life if you only had a short time to live? Would you say or do things differently? Be as honest as possible about how you feel.

Create. You may want to create a special collage or other artistically-inspired memento about your loved one, like a scrapbook. For those who are beginner artists, you can use memorabilia items or something symbolic like seashells. In the process, your thoughts and feelings may become clearer as you provide a creative outlet for expression. This exercise also may bring up other feelings that you need to face.

Remember . Let this be an opportunity to reflect on the good times. Looking back, what do you appreciate about the contributions of your loved one? What are the moments together that you cherish the most? Do things to honor and remember your loved one: if they loved flowers, plant a garden in their honor or help others plant gardens; support the causes and organizations that were important to your loved one.

Take good physical care of yourself
Get enough sleep . A regular sleep routine will be of benefit. If you are tired during the day, give yourself a chance to sit or lie down. Resting your body will help your emotional recovery. See Helpguide’s Getting the Sleep You Need: Sleep Stages, Sleep Tips and Aids to understand why a restful night’s sleep is important and how it’s adversely affected by caffeine, medications, heavy smoking and alcohol.

Avoid chemicals. Though you may crave a chemical to help you get through this time, try your best to steer clear of substances like alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, because their side effects can be unhelpful in the long-term. For instance, instead of coffee, opt for green tea, which is less jolting to your energy.

Exercise regularly. If you are physically able, take a brisk walk in the morning or at lunchtime. Choose something that will motivate you to get out of bed. For more tips on how to begin an exercise routine no matter what your age, see Helpguide’s Senior Fitness and Sports. Whether you feel like it or not, get some sort of physical exercise every day.

Eat well. Even if it’s the furthest thing from your mind, pay attention to the quality of what you eat. Take the time to eat nutritious meals while sitting down, avoiding processed or ‘fast’ food (even though you may be pressed for time and not feel like cooking). For more information on optimal nutrition, especially when you must eat out, read Helpguide’s articles on Healthy Eating: Guide to New Food Pyramids and Tips for a Healthy Diet and Healthy Restaurant Eating / Fast Food Nutrition: Guide to Making Healthy Choices.

Take care of yourself emotionally

Have fun. Is there a book that you have wanted to read or a movie you haven’t had time to see? This is the time to do it. Whether it’s listening to uplifting music or getting a massage, do what makes you happy. For more ideas, see Helpguide’s Playing Together for Fun: Creative Play and Lifelong Games. Even though you may feel guilty about being pampered at this time, you deserve to treat yourself well.Forgive. The death of someone you love brings an end to opportunity to communicate. You may be reminded of the need to forgive that person for a past hurt—and forgive yourself if need be—then move on. Maybe you said something you regret. Perhaps you wish you had done more at the time. In your grief, you may have felt embarrassed, guilty or angry (which is completely understandable). Let yourself off the hook and apply that energy into something positive.Plan ahead. Anniversaries and holidays bring their own particular challenges. You may feel especially emotional a year after your loved one dies, on their birthday or another significant marker. Attending an event such as a graduation, wedding or funeral can be highly charged, as well. This is a completely normal reaction. In order to prepare, talk to other members of your family to find out what their expectations are. Decide together how you would like to change your traditions while honoring the memory of your loved one.Get the support you need. There are people who want to help you get through this time—friends, loved ones, pastoral counselors, bereavement counselor, trained laypersons and professionals. Often people want to help, but don’t know what to do.

Accept help that feels good.
It’s alright to tell people who want to help how they can best help you. One of the most helpful things might be to prepare healthy meals for you. Some people can take time to just listen and hold you as you cry. A good friend might even laugh with you, in the midst of your pain.It is important to have an outlet for sharing grief, even for people who aren’t usually comfortable talking about their feelings. Humans are social creatures and knowing that others know and understand will make you feel better, less alone with your pain. Many support groups exist for the general public as well as specific populations, such as grieving parents and suicide survivors. Whatever the nature of your loss, connecting with others will help you heal. You will know how far you’ve come when you can share another’s pain and know the possibility of recovery.