.. I'M ..
I'm a simple pirate boy...if you combined him with a simple anime boy, a simple goat farmer and a simple catholic school girl. I like cheese. Not your normal cheese, but that wet gooey shit. The gooier the better, I always say. I also always say that I like my women like I like my cheese. That is big hunks of sweaty, moldy, gooey goodness. I also like anything that can be described as "fabulous", be it my clothes, my hair or my teeth. I am fabulous and you must be fabulous to be my friend. I also used to attend Uncle Shmengie's School of Prestidigitation (That's magic for you stupid people). So if you can make my meatpole disappear, then I will give you a shiny nickel.
THAT'S RIGHT, SHE'S MY SPIFFY SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER
I have been told that I have one child, he's a little avocado baby...seriously, toothpick limbs and all...I hate him and his mother. I rode her bareback since she said she was all fixed 'n' junk, but nooooo...she goes and has our little Guacamole Butterbiscuit. She's crazy man....craaaazy! Oh and I also like Pepsi. It's a beverage AND a colonic! Mmmmm not too many other people can say that they got DP'd buy a Pepsi bottle! That's right bitches! I rule and you know you like me.
Oh and I also like masturbation. It's sort of a hobby for me...and by "hobby" I mean "desperate obsession". I loves to love myself...7-10 times a day! It's cool though, because after 4 times I'm shooting out dry talcum powder and it sounds like this: "PUUHHHHHHHH!!" Tres chic! Oh and I love
Celine Dion
Webster
&
Steve Buschemi...So hot!
Don't be a hater, you know he's hot!
