........I am 22 years old and i first and formost am a christian and i have been married for two and a half years now, but we are seperated now. I have definately been through more stuff than people my age should. i have a wonderful family back in Pennsylvania. Mom, dad and two crazy sisters, who i know love me and i dont tell them in return enough. i really am tired of people being something they are not. i hate dishonesy and mistrust. I havent been home in a while now and i really miss it. i guess it is true when they say home is where your heart is. I love how independant i feel now, im worried that i will have to give that up soon. I am not good with change but i welcome it, so bring it on* I love motorcycles and my pink helmet. I really need to get away from all this drama in savannah. I am having a very hard time dealing with loss because i found out my very good friend committed suicide June 22nd after a very bad fight with me. That boy held my heart in his hands and i miss him terribly. RIP TRAV!!! I will never forget you. ********************* ***************** i lost something in my life lately and it is hard to move past it. i have a few years to figure myself out and i really am trying to be joyful through it all. I am a big daddy's girl and i miss hanging out with my dad, playing golf and cruising around. He is a very wise man and a wonderful dad. My momma is so sweet and worries about me daily, it makes me smile to have someone as wonderful and caring as her as a momma. I have a couple really great friends that keep me encouraged and they are trying to set me on the right path. For the longest time all i wanted to do was move away from home and now i am learning how hard living on your own is, and i cant believe that i am doing this now. I actually thought about moving back and opening a bar or something like it. I am glad i got my self out of that small town where everyone knows everything about you, but i guess i miss having my family around... The things i miss the most is my smile and being guenuinly happy.
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i miss my husband and having a companion. i guess thats why they make dogs and cats. I am hurting at the loss of him but i know he is doing what he has to, to make things right. i just dont know how much more i can take, or can i take more i havent broken yet. i hate not having that one person to wake up next to that you commited your life to, it hard knowing someone you love is hurting and you are not able to do anything about it. i know one day i will see him again. i just hope it will be different than before. i hope. Distance makes the heart grow founder, well atleast that is what they tell me. i am trying to believe that. We struggle a lot more than people know and my actions dont help the situation either. i have gotten in this single mode. i am not the person i was a year ago and im ok with that i dont think everyone else is. oh well its really only about me anyways, i need to make myself happy before i can expect to make someone else happy too. i guess the next step is acceptance and learning how to grow through it. What doesnt kill you makes you SMARTER so you dont do it again! Thomas Eddision tried and failed almost 2000 times when making the filament for the light bulb. when asked about it Eddison said, " i didn't fail i found 2000 ways not to make a light bulb." But he only needed one way to make it work. thats all we really need anyways is the one way to make it work.***************** ****************
