kelley-bean profile picture

kelley-bean

.......okay, so when you tell me to 'stay cool', do you mean that in the Fonzi-cool way, or the weat

About Me

What can I say? Like a BOX of fine wine, I'm a work in progress, and only improve with age! Just a girlie tom-boy, originally from Virginia, and moved to L.A. in '99. A real blue-eyed blonde; one part Steel Country thanks to my dad ("where yunz going? dahntahn?") and one part southern belle thanks to mom, who stepped out of the movie, "Steel Magnolias" ("where are ya'll goin'? over yonder?"). Where exactly is 'yonder', anyway? My accents tend to cancel themselves out, unless I'm drinking Cosmopolitans! I hope that my main profile picture doesn't accentuate my mustache or glass eye. I'm excited that I'm finally getting fitted for my prosthetic leg next week. I've been looking forward to that day for years! I'll be 'bikini ready' soon, so look out Lake Havasu, here I come! YEE-HAW! My only claims to fame so far have been mere brushes with excellence. Yes folks, I attended the same college as GWAR (VCU), and the same high school (St. Gertrude) as Leslie Bibb (who ironically got to play Will Ferrell's wife in 'Talladega Nights...the Legend of Ricky Bobby' -- that beeeee-otch!). So what happened to me? I'd like to hunt down and methodically kill my high school guidance counselor. Here are a few snippets of Brian Regan, one of my favorite comedians. Some are long, but worth every minute -- enjoy!..
Get this video and more at MySpace.com Brian Regan - emergency room (part 2)
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Add to My Profile | More Videos Brian Regan
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Add to My Profile | More Videos

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Ocean view - Image Hosting

My Interests

I'll try anything at least once (sometimes even without getting paid). I love music, scuba-diving (anything in the water), dancing, traveling, and movies. That's pretty much what everyone says, isn't it? But what I REALLY like to do is collect belly-button lint, and those 'do not remove' tags from random mattresses. I also enjoy pointing and laughing at people who pick their nose in their car. I pride myself on drinking milk WAAAAY past the expiration date. One sheet of bubble-wrap can keep me busy all day long. I occasionally take pictures of total strangers in public, develop the film and pretend they're my friends. I can also shoot pool pretty well, if I'm wearing something low cut, and my opponent is easily distracted ;^) And I can't write this profile without mentioning the best football team ever, the Pittsburgh Steelaz!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bleed black and gold! Don't you just LOVE football..........?

I'd like to meet:

the Beatles (both living and dead - R.I.P.), Eric Clapton, the Rolling Stones, Robert Plant, Kurt Cobain (R.I.P.), Aerosmith (especially Steven Tyler), all members of Rush (especially Neil Peart), Hugh Hefner (and the 'Girls Next Door' ladies -- that show is hilarious!), Brian Regan (comedian -- "You Too"!), Prince, Cameron Crowe (again), Eddie Murphy, Jim Carey, the entire cast of Sex and the City (sob...sniff), the entire cast of Seinfeld (sans Kramer the racist), Tom Hanks, the Brand New Heavies (LOVE them), Steve Martin, Johnny Depp (who doesn't?), Adam Sandler, Mike Myers, David Duchovny (why don't you love me?), Sandra Bullock (again - she's so sweet!), Lance Armstrong, the entire cast of 'Fargo', the entire cast of 'Best in Show', Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Derek Zoolander (in character), Napoleon Dynamite (in character), Luke and Owen Wilson, Tommy Lee (he'd be a party, huh?), Vince Vaughan, Jennifer Aniston (I just want to give her a hug), Brad Pitt (so I can kick his ass for being an adulterous, philandering bastard), Jamie Foxx (again), Phil Hartman (R.I.P.), Chris Farley (R.I.P.), Jack Nicholson, Christopher Walken, Jack Black, Ben Roethlisberger, Terry Bradshaw, Jerome Bettis, "Mean" Joe Green, 'Avoid' Lloyd, Jack Lambert, Lynn Swann, John Stalworth, Franco Harris, Bill Cowher (I wonder if he'd spit on me?), Tom Cruise (so I can slap him around a bit), Jamie, Jack and Stench (I'M A PROUD JJS, OR RATHER, JSB POD CAST SUBSCRIBER!!!!!!!!!!!!), .50 cent (anyone who gets shot 6 times and lives to tell about it is a 'meet' lister for sure), Trey Parker and Matt Stone (those guys are freaks!), whomever designed the Los Angeles freeway system (he/she and I need to have a little chat), whomever created Pop-Tarts (for without them, I would starve to death) and pretty much anyone who can make me laugh. For eye candy, throw in Michael Vartan, Orlando Bloom, John Corbett and Matthew McConaughey (however his name is spelled). I love making new friends and meeting new people, so drop me a line! I especially like adding comedians and bands so that I can find out where they're performing locally...I love discovering new music and comedy. I also love getting in touch with old friends, or making new friends, especially folks from my hometown, Richmond, Virginia. And no, I'm not here to 'hook up', so please don't send me 'hey baby' messages.......... And if you ask to add me as your friend because you want to enlighten me on how to make money filling out surveys, etc., etc., or you want to sell me an i-phone (even before their release in June), then I'll just have to block you. PLEASE PRAY FOR THE VICTIMS AND THE VICTIM'S FAMILIES OF THE TRAGIC SHOOTINGS AT VIRGINIA TECH. VIRGINIA TECH IS A BEAUTIFUL CAMPUS WITH WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND IT HOLDS A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART, WHICH IS NOW BROKEN.

Music:

I have a pretty weird music collection....everything from Buckcherry to the Dixie Chicks to Cracker to Massive Attack to Angie Stone to of course, Led Zeppelin (and I need to admit that my first concert was KISS in 1979 at the Hampton Coliseum!!!!!!!). But I have to say my all time favorite bands are Stillwater, and Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters! And I always Wonder what happened to the One-ders!

Movies:

Too many to list! But I love to go into an almost empty, darkened theater and then sit down by someone who's there by themselves. It kinda freaks 'em out. Good times.....

Television:

All the true crime shows like 'The New Detectives', 'The First 48', 'Forensic Files', etc. Show of hands, people.....who out there knows what 'luminol' is ??????????? Hey I'll show you my 'ligature marks' if you show me yours! wink wink....

Books:

Anything with lots of pictures so that I don't have to think as much. Pop-up books are also helpful! Right now I'm reading "The Long-Term Effects of Pot on the Brain" by Spicoli.

Heroes:

God. My parents. My sister. My little Cody-girl (may she rest in peace), and anyone who has saved a life or has died trying. ..

My Blog

Only in L.A.

okay so i had to go to the Stanley Mosk courthouse today........long story.  but it's in downtown L.A.  I paid $16 for parking, right.........of course i did -- i was there for a whole hour ...
Posted by kelley-bean on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 01:47:00 PST

Dogs..........

Well, it's been almost a year since I lost my little Cody-girl.  That was the saddest day in my life, hands down.  To have a pet for 13 years, and to watch them slowly lose their health is d...
Posted by kelley-bean on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 07:05:00 PST

PLEASE HELP FIND SCOTT RABUN!!!!!!!!!!

Clay, a friend of mine, needs help finding his missing brother.  It's been a year now and there is still no new info.  Please visit www.scottrabun.com and pass this info along to others.&nbs...
Posted by kelley-bean on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 05:42:00 PST

PLEASE HELP LOCATE CASSANDRA LEE HAILEY

ATTENTION!  A girl I knew in elementary school in York County, Virginia disappeared.  Please look at the info below and should you have any information, please contact the authorities. ...
Posted by kelley-bean on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 12:47:00 PST

The Steelers are out of the playoffs......

and I'm sad.  That's pretty much all I have to say about that....
Posted by kelley-bean on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 10:47:00 PST

are we in L.A. or Fargo? You darned tootin'!

last year at this time, i was still wearing flip-flops and went to the beach with my baby.  okay, maybe the flip-flops part is inaccurate, but we were definitely at the beach.  the only time...
Posted by kelley-bean on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:29:00 PST

apparently i have waaaaaay too much time on my hands!

apparently, i either have way too much time on my hands or am all of a sudden very interested in little myspace quizzes!  i can't get enough of them and am now addicted.....and i'm not sure why?&...
Posted by kelley-bean on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 12:23:00 PST

"you too, ma'am!"

where i come from, you grow up saying "ma'am" and "sir" and it is a sign of respect; it doesn't matter to whom you are speaking (age, gender, etc.).  in fact, if you didn't say sir or ma'am, you ...
Posted by kelley-bean on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 12:03:00 PST

Jeff T.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so my friend Jeff T. is really scared because it's Friday the 13th.  So in the words of the late, great President What's-His-Face, "The only thing we have to fear is a little Elf!" .....or s...
Posted by kelley-bean on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 01:41:00 PST

the Taylor girls in my photo section....

just in case you're confused by who the 'Taylor girls' are in my photo section, they are the lovely daughters of my ex-fiance.  they live in merry England with their 'mum', and i'm here.............
Posted by kelley-bean on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:51:00 PST