I can probably write an entire novel about myself, but I don't have 5 minutes to spare. I basically live by three rules...eat, work, travel. So, judge me by my actions/failures, not my words. Then maybe you can get a better idea of who I am and where I'm coming from.
I.......
- have never been abducted by aliens
- was devirginized at 15, was a born-again-virgin at 22, now I am an atheist
- faked an orgasm
- by no means am i lazy. I actually participate in three football fantasy leagues and one basketball fantasy league
- drive a limited edition ferrari.....with a celica kit
- fed chicken nuggets to chickens
- can tread water (with a life vest) for 2 minutes before I get tired
- have a steady relationship with Palmela Handerson
- am constantly mistaken for either Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington...how annoying
- am the shortest amongst my three bros,...my brain weighs more or is it my nuts
- am a 4 time century club member (100 shots, 100 minutes)
- learned an instrument knowing it may impress the ladies in the future, unfortunately, clarinets aren't as cool anymore
- am very confident in my decisions....I think :/
- am a "7.6" on the beer goggle scale
- like hummers driving (no dyslexia here, say it slowly)
- never was a stunt double in a porn
- got pretty good at the air guitar, not so good at the air drums
- like role-playing (any ladies have a chicken costume, I got my overalls and farmer's tan ready)
- am currently a hundredaire...hopefully, I can be a thousandaire within five years
- am a reigning county chess champion
- tried Roofies(date rape drug), yet was unsuccessful in getting raped
- am still unsuccessful in joining a threesome
- would book a two-week caribbean cruise if the world were to end tomorrow....wait a sec, make it three weeks...duh, the world is gonna end
- can ride a stationary bike with no hands, but not for long
- am a deadly opponent when it comes to shadow boxing
*Please note: I basically got quizzed recently on every category I listed (thanks Beck)...let's just say they are half-truths...if you want to know more, just ask.
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