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Veronica and I are trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or "yogging"; it might be a soft "J." I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.
You're quasi-evil. You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil--Just one calorie, not evil enough.
I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to. You can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch my fucking television set!
Logan, my tolerance for your smoking in the Mansion not withstanding, continue smoking that in here and you will spend the rest of your days under the beleid that you're a six year old girl.
Hey, you want to hear something funny? My dentist's name is James Spalding.
Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know -- about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me.
I hope you have a big trunk, cause I'm gonna put my bike in it.
I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's gross and unnatural. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand why men want that kind of thing either.
Deuce Bigalow: So you're opposed to women being involved in modern space exploration? Kate: Absolutely! Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt.
You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bo staff.
Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!
Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next!
I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.
The FBI says they can prove it through physics in a nuclear laboratory. Of course they can prove it. Theoretical physics can also prove that an elephant can hang off a cliff with its tail tied to a daisy! But use your eyes, your common sense.
You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don't like no feed back, what's up?
I knew you couldn't resist my shit! I got the shakes that'll make you quake. I got the fries that'll cross your eyes. I got that burgers that'll... I just got burgers.
You're getting too old for this shit.
Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the Matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.
I understand you may have had sexual relations with my daughter before, but under our roof, it's my way or the Long Island Expressway. So just keep your snake in its cage for 72 hours.
I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.
True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.
You're on a draw, Mike? Go away, this one not good for you. And in my club, I will splash the pot WHENEVER THE FUCK I PLEASE.
I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.
This is not Nam, this is bowling. There are rules.
Where the hell's Fiji? Near Florida?
Some oldies but goodies