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You Know Your Portuguese When.......1. Your mother's name is Maria something 2. Christmas Eve is much more important than Christmas 3. Several People in your family are named "Joao" 4. Your mother either cleans houses, babysits, or works in a factory 5. Your father is ...yup...you guessed it...a construction worker...wait no....maybe a carpenter 6. Your house is fully equipped with two stoves...(one is in the kitchen in the garage, which your uncle, father, and/or grandpa built) 7. You earned over $10,000 for your first communion 8. Forget Turkey and Roast Beef! Xmas dinner was Bacalhau baby! 9. A barbeque does not consist of Burgers on the grill...Hello! Can u say Sardines???? 10. Your parents own nine houses in Portugal, but complain about "o dinhero e poco" back here in the states... 11. A wooden spoon=discipline 12. Your parents anticipate that you marry your first long-term boyfriend/girlfriend 13. You overtweeze (or shave) your eyebrows...(this applies to both males and females) 14. You try and do the "messy backstreet boy hair" thing, but you just end up looking like every other "chop" 15. Your anthem this summer was "Zombie Nation" 16. Your radio station is permantly set on the local Portuguese radiostation 17. Every woman cleans the house on Saturday 18. When you hear the word "Sagres" you think Beer, not historical marine school 19. Someone in your family plays the accordian or a Portuguese guitar 20. Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for every person in your 100 member family. (good thing all those gifts were purchased at a flea market or K-Mart) 21. Paneleiro is definitely NOT a pot-maker --(lmao katia) 22. Nuthin' beats a buttered roll 23. You've got that annoying "P" on the corner of your windsheild (as if we didn't know you were Portuguese already by the car that you drive)
U KNOW UR PORTUGUESE WHEN::1. If you can hold more than one beer in your hand, plus a shot of aniz in the other...You are portuguese!!2. If you have a rooster napkin holder....You are portuguese!!3. If you wear more than 3 gold chains at once....Its possible that you might be portuguese!!4. If you have more silver caps in your mouth then you do actual teeth....You are most likely portuguese!!5. If you know and own all of Jorge Ferreira's or Chico Availa's albums....You are freakin portuguese!!6. If the mirrors in your house are gold framed in gold....Then you might be portuguese!!7. Does any one in your family make wine in their garage???....Yep...You are portuguese!!8. If your drunk by 8:00 am....Well...You get the picture!!9. If you have more facial hair then your dog has on its body....Say it with me..."I am portuguese"!!10. If you dip stale bread in meat juice & enjoy it....you ARE!!11. If your brother and/or father work construction or on a dairy...Guess wat...You are definatly portuguese!!12. If your mom is a cleaner....(see number 11)!!13. If the outside of your house is painted green, yellow, blue, red, or pink....HEHEHE...your portuguese!!14. During World Cup soccer, If your the first to go out and buy a Brazilian flag to accompany your portuguese flag...& you flash both of them at the same time...You, my friend ARE portuguese!!15. If you turned an old bath tub or tire into a planter for the front of your house......your italian...NO...just kidding....Your Portuguese!!16. If you have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dinning room, living room, bedroom.....ok...on all your tables!.....Your portuguese!!17. If you have a room in your house where everyone is forrbidden to go in or be in...you know....the room with your first communion picture....Yepp...You guessed it!!18. If you say "the continent" referring to the main land portugal...You may be portuguese!!19. If you walk in religious parades carrying a flag, or dressed up in a red cloak, THAT WERE DAMN PROUD OF!! lol20. If you have grape vines, favas, or couves growing in your backyard.....You sweetheart are Portuguese!!21. If you talk with your hands while your on the phone...or just in general...you may be portuguese!!22. If one of the men in your family drive a honda civic.....God do i really have to tell you!!23. If you drink wine with everything....I MEAN EVERYTHING!...Your portuguese for sure!!24. If a whole room in your house is dedicated to your favorite soccer team......YES IM TALKIN BOUT THE ONE TEAM THAT WOULD OF BEAT ITALY FO SHO....VIVA PORTUGAL!!25. If you have a "Tia Maria" and/or "Tio Jose"...Im sorry....You are portuguese!!26. Go to your freezer....see and fish??...chances are you got Bacalhou...if not....Your mom just went out for some more!!27. If your house has more plants in it then outside of it.....Blah...Portuguese!!28. If you decorate your walls with plates.....LOL! Tu Es Portugues!!29. If your house is a mini church with just as may statues as saints and jesus as your chuch itself, yeah....you are!!30.If you have to stay up till 12:00am on Christmas eve to open your gifts....Merry Christmas...Your portuguese!!31. If you know what Bacalhau or a malassada is....Damn straight, your portuguese!!32. If you're 25 and still living with your parents...Portuguese you are!! note: Give yourself 20 extra points if your married and living with your spouse in your parents house!!!)33. If you spend 75% of the day cleaning...ur Portuguese!!34. If your live-in kitchen is in your garage.PORTUGUESE!!35. If people call you "pork and cheese" and you' re not offended by it...What are you???? HEHEH36. If your sisters life ambition is to become a hairdresser...uh-huh...you are Portuguese!37. If your Mom's idea of a good lunch is a "papeseco"....You may be Portuguese!38. If you ask your mom "mae...what is there to eat?" and she says pao com Manteiga e queijo"...unfortunatly you are Portuguese39. And, if your barbecue has grilled more fish than any other meat known to man..... Buddy... admit it...you're either Portuguese or living on an island!!!!AND THOSE THAT ARENT! WISH THEY WERE PORTUGUESE!!!
White Friends Vs. Portugese FriendsWHITE FRIENDS: Never ask for foodPORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Bring Food for everyone and still end up eatin your food tooWHITE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.WHITE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: are there when ur doing the crime and wont let u get arrested because they are good like thatWHITE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Will give you the shoulder to lean and curse off the fuckers who made you cry.WHITE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Lend you their shit and take yours like its nothingWHITE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Teach you new things you never knew about yourself.WHITE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.WHITE FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!" - "estou aqui"WHITE FRIENDS: Are there for some time.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Are family foreverWHITE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.PORTUGUESE FRIENDS: Will either make them feel stupid or knock them the fuck out!!
THE 40 THINGS IN A PORTUGUESE CHILDS LIFYE IS ::01. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.02. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sanweesha."03. Your family dog understood Portuguese.04. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.05. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.06. You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.07. You thought killing the pig each year and having torressmos, morcella, linguica and a hanging dead pig from the ceiling was absolutely normal.08. You ate sopa de covos for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.09. You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.10. You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.11. You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.12. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.13. Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.14. You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.15. You thought that everyone made their own bread.16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.17. You ate your salad after the main course.18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.19. Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.21. You can understand Portuguese but you can't speak it.22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.23. All of your uncles fled to America to not go to the war in Angola or they went to the war in Angola.24. You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, John, Joe, Manuel or Louie.25. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.26. You have relatives you don't speak to.27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.28. You were pinched under the arm in church by your mother.29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing, or a grape vine covering it.30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.31. You thought that talking loud was normal.32. You thought sugared almonds were common at all weddings.33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house,36. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (oh, and he has to be Portuguese)37. You called any pasta "spaghetti".38. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school39. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Tia's house.40. Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.
Dating & Relationship Advice
MySpace LayoutsTHIS IS TRU CHOP PRIDE::Porkchop pride is in my mind
Porkchop blood is in my kind
So step aside and let me through
Cuz its all about the Porkchop crew
Porkchop love is all around
My fellow Porkchops never let me down
So show your pride and say its true
Cuz Porkchop blood flows through U
United we stand
Divided we fall
U can shoot one Porkchop
But U can't shoot us all
We R Porkchop
We'r full of class
Fuck wit us
We'll get the Porkchops on your ass
Be a true, Loud and Proud Porkchop!
!!!!Viva Portugal!!!!Repost This If you got pride!!