El Jovo profile picture

El Jovo

tougher than a two dollar steak

About Me

I'm alive and I don't eat meat.I love rum and amber beer. I'm engaged to a beautiful Italian-American girl with big breasts and we have a dog named Chester Beans.I'm Puertorican and I've been balding since I was 18.Don't fuck with me and I won't fuck with you.I own a machete and I would love to use it properly on someone's head.Like I said...don't fuck with me or my family.

Nuff said!...
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WHICH PUNK LEGEND ARE YOU?
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You scored as LEE VING
YOU LEE VING, FEARS LEAD SINGIN' TOUGH MAN, LOVES BEER


LEE VING


75%

DARBY CRASH


69%

SID VICIOUS


63%

DANZIG


50%

WATTI


50%

DEE DEE RAMONE


44%

TESCO VEE


13%

GG ALLIN


13%

JOHNNY THUNDERS


6%

JELLO BIAFRA


0%

My Interests

Smoking reefer.Lots and lots of it.Drinking Yuengling,Amstel Light,Bacardi,Bud Light,Rolling Rock,Red Wine,Carolan's Irish Cream,Extra Dry Champagne and Bailey's.Wrestling nigga...what?!??.Kicking EVERYONE'S ass in Tekken 5.Singing along to music while being heavily intoxicated and doing pretty much what I feel like doing.If I'm not broke.

I'd like to meet:

The one and only Bukowski (hes not dead,just retired),Hunter S. Thompson,Bobby and Santo Farina who wrote the greatest musical masterpiece in "Sleepwalk",Sylvia Plath,Gary Oldman,Kevin Spacey,Tyler Durden,Louis Armstrong,Jehova,Lucifer,....maybe you?

Music:

The Misfits,Guns N' Roses,The Clash,Against Me!,Civil Disobedience,Minor Threat,Toxic Narcotic,Nofx,Siniestro Total,La Polla Records,Agnostic Front,Necro,Rudimentary Peni,Sin Dios,Crowbar,Napalm Death,Amebix,Nekromantix,Assjack,Tom Waits,Lunachicks,Tiger Army,Asesino,Louis Armstrong,Slayer,Alkaline Trio,Dos Minutos,Shadows Fall,Eskorbuto,Cake,Jimmy Eat World,Brujeria,Atari Teenage Riot,Mouth Sewn Shut,Beastie Boys,Antiseen,The Lawrence Arms,Rancid,Exhumed,Death,Vandals,Queers,World/Inferno FS,The "D",Anthrax,Morbid Angel,Naked Raygun,Aus-Rotten,The Cure,David Allan Coe,Awkward Thought,Mobb Deep,Leftover Crack,Choking Victim,Crackrocksteady 7,Hank Williams,Hank Williams Jr.,Hank Williams III,Agoraphobic Nosebleed,Cradle of Filth,Deicide,Wu Tang,Motley Crue,Extreme Noise Terror, Crass,Dirt,Fobia Estatal,Journey,Styx,Nausea,Duran Duran,Sinatra,Amy Winehouse,Sick Of It All,La Experiencia de Tonito Cabanilla$$$,Da'Pingaz,The Waxinators,Compulsive Obscenity,T.V. Screen,Balls to Beethoven,Sexwax,The Dissipated Evil,Hate,Modify,The H8u's, The Walkmen,The Killers,Ricky Nelson,etc.,etc.,etc......"WITH JUST THE TOUCH FROM MY BURNING HAND,I'LL SEND MY ASTRO ZOMBIES TO RAPE THIS PLANET"-MISFITS

Movies:

Virgin Suicides,Natural Born Killers,Fight Club,True Romance,American Beauty,Boogie Nights,Lost In Translation,Clockwork Orange,Full Metal Jacket, Spun, Rabid,Immortal Beloved,Bully, Quiz Show,Best In Show,I Spit On Your Grave, Dawn Of The Dead(both),Heathers,Jesus' Son,Magnolia,Big Fish,Pulp Fiction,300,The Life Aquatic,One Hour Photo,Walk The Line,Reservoir Dogs,Sin City...."HOW MUCH YOU SQUAT?" - REED ROTHCHILD,BOOGIE NIGHTS

Television:

Monday Night Raw,Smackdown,Seinfeld,Family Guy,American Dad,Robot Chicken,ATHF,Space Ghost,Oz,Carnivale,Curb Your Enthusiasm,Tom Goes To The Mayor,Velocity,South Park,Chapelle's Show,The Simpsons,TNA Impact, Real Time with Bill Maher,Real Sex,Cathouse

Books:

Love is a dog from hell,The Rum Diary,The Virgin Suicides,Ham On Rye,........the list goes on."SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WANTED AND IT WASN'T ME.I KNOW MORE WOMEN LIKE THAT THAN ANY OTHER KIND."-C.(HANK)BUKOWSKI,LOVE IS A DOG FROM HELL..

Heroes:

Charles Henry Bukowski,Joe Strummer,Johnny Ramone,Malcolm X,Ted Bundy and probably someone else..."RESPECT BEGINS WITH ONESELF"-MALCOLM X..

My Blog

George Carlin 1973-2008

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? What's all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more t...
Posted by El Jovo on Sat, 28 Jun 2008 09:38:00 PST

Kling Klang King of the Ring Rang Rum

              Good Morning Gary It was on the morning of April 23rd when the alarm clock went off inside a hundred dollar a week room in...
Posted by El Jovo on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 08:50:00 PST

Mi angel de la guarda

 I recently developed two rolls of film I've had laying around for a few weeks.Some of the pictures were forgettable,while others are absolutely priceless.Amongst the developed negatives,there wa...
Posted by El Jovo on Fri, 30 Sep 2005 08:08:00 PST

If she were here I'd probably be smiling

   Virginia's pretty fucking far from New York,and yet I can still feel the love she has for me as if she were right next to me.It's not the same you understand.I can not wait to feel her wa...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 19 Sep 2005 03:57:00 PST

Fuck

Fuck stupid people who can't control their emotions.Fuck people who can't handle their alcohol.Fuck materialistic bitches.Fuck people who think they're always right.Fuck these gas prices and assholes ...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 12 Sep 2005 09:04:00 PST

I loved the way she said "fuckin' a"

As the green light goes on and I put my drink down next to the radio,I look over at you and see the smile I've grown to love.I sit next to you and run my hand across your face and I softly kiss your n...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Jeeves....be kind and remove Jehova's cock from my anus

"Everything is a copy,of a copy,of a copy" It seems like no matter what we do,fate keeps on rolling and if your road was shitty yesterday,it will be shitty tomorrow.You don't make your own destiny.May...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Raindrops keep falling on my stash

So there we were,me and Dave and the overheating Nissan and the Mobil on the corner.I lit a cigarrette and the smoke went in my eye. Dave tried calling the third party we were waiting for and got the ...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I should be Pope(happy stoner day y'all)

So my dad calls my brother and says that he got us four tickets for the supershow at the Garden.They taped Smackdown and afterwards Raw went on the air live....and we were there.That alone makes it a ...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Heart for sale as is...make me an offer

Remember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the high priest removes the guy's heart by reaching into his chest? Does anyone out there feel they can do that? If so,please reply as...
Posted by El Jovo on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST