GIT-R-DONE! It's been a little while since the last update so let me first apologize for the delay. I was in therapy for a few weeks after I had a horrible nightmare about being stranded on an island with the cast of The View. We had to draw straws to see who had to eat Rosie and I got the short straw. Anyway I'm back and ready to update the site. Paul McCartney and his wife are in divorce court. I think he'll probably win because she doesn't have a leg to stand on! Badabing! (I'm sure I'm not the only person to think of that easy joke!) I just read the latest gay marriage poll. 60% of the country is against it, 30% is for it, and 10% of the country wants to smoke the pole!!! (If your not laughing at that then you're an uptight prick!) In case anyone is interested, Wal-Mart leads the nation in mis-spelled bathroom graffiti. I really think our school system is in trouble. I drove by a high school last week and the billboard out front said "congratulations graduate". Have ya seen that Al Gore movie An Inconvenient Truth? It's about global warming. I thought it was about him losing the Presidency. Remember that speech when he's yelling the phrase "the president played on our fears"? Global warming is still a THEORY and NOT a fact. Hey wait a minute... Is Al Gore "playing on our fears"? NAW!! This is confusing... I have a friend of mine who likes to put on a country CD when he makes love. How does he get his weiner in that little hole? (Lord, I apologize.) And finally (thank God), the Michelin Tire mogul was buried last weekend. The bad part is... that every six months they have to dig him up and rotate him! Let's update! For all of you that have made it out to see the movie CARS, I'm glad ya enjoyed it and it was by far the coolest thing I've been a part of since I got to check for ticks in the Jenna Jamison movie Hayloft Hummers. But seriously, I'm glad I was picked for this and thanks to all my fans for the great e-mails on it. Ya'll are awesome. Right now I'm in the desert of California filming my next movie Delta Farce, and we're shooting towards another wide screen release in Spring 2007. The movie is dadgum hilarious and the cast is brilliant. My buddy Bill Engvall and the very funny DJ Qualls (Road Trip, The New Guy, Hustle & Flow) are my co-stars along with Keith David (Platoon, Men At Work, Crash). The filming is going well and I'll post pictures over the next few weeks as a sneak peak. I wanna thank my military friends for giving me the thumbs up on this whole thing.
