*. Ben .* profile picture

*. Ben .*

Like, whoa~

About Me

Me:
I'm no longer single and I have MSN (Those who I deem worthy will get my email address. So be nice! ,)

I despise angsty emokids and I'm not about to threaten suicide/start smoking/take drugs/turn emo just because life might not be going my way just this minute

I'm cocky, arrogant (everyone loves it) and have a tendency to make extremely pointless puns/jokes.

I'm huggable and usually make blond comments inappropriately.

I lack self esteem and/or an ego and I don't have a signal for my mobile when I'm at home.

I'm an awesome shoulder to cry on (Just don't you dare angst to me about nothing like SOME people) and I'm genuinely shy and lacking in confidence.

I'm not too comfortable with compliments. I accept them and they flatter me, but I don't believe them. This is my problem, not yours and it's not an invitation for you to try to convince me otherwise.

I prefer correct spelling, grammar and punctuation in emails, messenger and text messages and I have two rats called Henry and Bobby.

Sport:
I totally worship Arsenal (Got my membership this season. Emirates Stadium, here I come ^-^)
I play for Tidenham FC 2nd XI on Saturdays without fail. We're in the Gloucestershire league division three, or something like that and we're currently about fifth in the table with a couple of games in hand over some of the teams above us, so promotion is still on the cards.

Previous result: Tidenham FC 2nd XI: 2 (Graj, Birdie) Redbrook: 3

Friends:
Emma.L - She's been through a rough past year with an asshole (now)ex-boyfriend and deserves to be cut some slack. My co-conspirator at Castleford and also my missus, we've had to bear the brunt of many rumours about our relationship status - most of the rumours having been brought on ourselves, admittedly.
Graj - Tottenham Hotspur supporter and general all-round chunky monkey, Graj has the fortune of being the only male barman at Jimmy Deans, where he works with several rather attractive women. He hates my previous ex girlfriend with a passion. He only ever fancies women completely out of his league.
Lee - My companion Arsenal supporter and fellow player for Tidenham, Lee's the handsome chap of the group, also engaged and living with his fiancee in a bungalow that also houses his mum and two brothers. Usually skint, he is often found at Jimmy Deans on Friday and Saturday nights.
Emma.P - The tallest of my friends at a very tall six foot five inches, or so, also a blond and has had to put up with my blond remarks for the best part of nine years, she's a solid friend of mine, always there for me as I am always there for her. Prone to the casual everyday blond errors, such as dying her hair blond or going out with a Blackburn Rovers supporter. Oh, when will she learn?
Ross - Our resident army companion, Blackburn Rovers supporter and the man busy with the task of dating Emma, Ross is currently residing in Germany with his army companions. The man guilty for getting me hooked on Guitar Hero, he's probably the best footballer I personally know, unless the army life has somehow disintegrated his skills. He is famous for his "Gudgie Specials" concoctions.
Jellz - Jellz is a pretty awesome lil midget. She's also a slight sex-freak, but who am I to judge? She's bouncy, hyperactive and also strangely sensitive, so she needs a nice guy like me to keep her spirits up. I'm also her chief picture-commenter, because she loves my wit ^-^
Jim - Jimz0rs is the perv of the group, a proven bachelor by choice, currently going to uni in Cardiff to study Biology for the sole reason of pervving on the models. If this man approaches you, do not speak to him, for he will have you watching cartoon porn and making repeated sexual references within hours. You were warned.
Count Mitchula - Psychotic-Gothic-Vampire-Man-Thing. Count Mitchula, currently residing in Teeside uni, is the very example of the sort of man your parents DON'T want you to grow up into. Do NOT get this man drunk, he will turn into a raving psychopath, start grabbing knives and try to genuinely stab people with them. When he's not busy trying to kill someone or not boasting about certain sexual exploits involving blood, shackles, handcuffs and chains then he's a top bloke, really.
Bonny - He's like a priest. But only when he's drunk. The only man I know who thought the world was ACTUALLY going to end on 06.06.06 and started to panic at midnight, this man is best not approached when drunk. He fights with God a lot and has so far not won any of the battles. He's also an extreme part-time Evertonian.

Family:
I live with my grandparents in a big house next to the famous Chepstow Racecourse and my mum lives in Fareham, near Southampton.

Women:
I currently have a girlfriend and am very happy with her, given what I went through to get her eventually. I'm not leaving her for anyone. Period.
I find that cute looks are the way to go, very attractive and sadly, I usually end up fancying girls with boyfriends.

I have had two failed previous long-term relationships and I've learnt how to handle myself with women. No one's going to walk all over me any more

I am not usually attracted to smokers and I will never change my ways and hobbies. I love football and I won't stop, live with it.

I do not find the idea of a long-distance relationship appealing. I would possibly go half an hour away for a girl, but no more and I would expect her to do the same. I am not about to travel to London once a week to be with you.

I have female friends, though most of them are dating friends of mine anyway. I do not fancy any of my female friends, so jealousy is not needed.

I'm never serious, so don't take me seriously. People get offended that way.

My ex's:
Naomi: Who recently got back in contact with me. Naomi is hormonal and obnoxious to me most of the time. Her one true aim is to ensure that no matter what happens, I don't move on from her. She achieves this by coming back into contact with me at random moments to slag me off and tell me to move on. Read my blog entry to discover what she truly is.
Harrie: A money-grabbing slut who picked up the pieces Naomi discarded and took my money and used me as a taxi. She now sports a spotty face and a huge, fat ass, as well as a squeaky voice and she still wanks all her male friends off. Guess I got the better end of that dumping ,
Random:
I have a lucky fag lighter that is supposed to help me get women and I usually end up insulting myself a lot.
I don't watch a lot of television and my favourite colour is Royal Regatta (Like those football boots I want!).

I don't bite, I encourage people adding me to talk and I have this weird rule where I won't start a conversation with anyone if I was the last person to start one (*Hint* *Nudge*)

I know, I look about fifteen and I act about twelve but yes, I AM nineteen, no matter how hard it is to believe.

My Interests

I like:

Football. Arsenal FC. Football training. Smirnoff Ice. Oasis. My lucky cigarette lighter. Laughing. FIFA Soccer. Being cocky. Dr Pepper. Large Televisions. Tennis balls. People starting conversations. Making lots of pointless sexual innuendo. Wrestling (on occasions). Discussing women with Graj. Sky Sports. Cuggles. Chicken. Football topics with Lee. The way Shakira's hips move. Bacon. Burnout: Revenge. Cute girls. Sonic Mega Collection Plus.

I despise:

Attention seekers and angsty emokids. People threatening suicide. Women who wear LOADS of makeup. People smoking around me. Cigarettes in general. Girls under sixteen wearing tiny tops and even smaller skirts. The end of the football season. Pro Evo Soccer. People who dislike others for wearing certain clothes just because they don't wear it themselves. Nirvana (The band. Especially Kurt Kaboom). Onions. Pineapples. Spices. Nuts. Good Charlotte (ESPECIALLY Benji Madden!). People assuming I'm gay because I make a lot of innuendo. Awkward silences. Chelsea FC. Roman Abrahmovic. Daytime tv. Same-sex relationships. The amount of immigrants in Britain. Men who let women walk all over them. People who judge others by the music they listen to.

I'd like to meet:

Is this in a "I want to meet my lifetime hero" question or is this a "I'd like to meet the perfect woman" question? Sod it, I'd rather meet Scarlett Johanson, Elisha Cuthbert or Keeley Hazel, mainly for bragging rights over my friends. When I say "meet", I mean at least have a five-minute chat with them AND get a photo of me with them. The closest I came to a celebrity was Sarah Donohue (Blond model who's also a Powerboat racer) and she personally signed a photo of herself in lingerie for me. Actually, I was extremely hungover at the time and barely saw her, but she did it for me, at least.

In other areas, I'd love to meet an Arsenal first-team player. Thierry Henry, Kolo Toure, Cesc Fabregas - preferrably one of the English-speakers, though I've loved Tomas Rosicky since forever! Literally, since he played against Arsenal for Sparta Prague years ago and then when he went to Dortmund, what with me having a major love affair with Dortmund behind Arsenal's back (since I saw Dortmund beat Cruzerio in the International cup years ago) and now he's come to Arsenal after a lot of speculation that he was going to tear my heart out and move to Tottscum for several years. I love you Rosicky!

Music:

Oasis. Bryan Adams. The Black Mages. Kaiser Chiefs. No Doubt. Killers. Fall Out Boy. Velvet Revolver. Pink. Shakira. Avril Lavigne. The Cooper Temple Clause. Black Eyed Peas. Nobou Uematsu. Artic Monkeys. Def Leppard. Faye Wong. Kasabian. Keane. The Prodigy. Bon Jovi. Gwen Stefani. Linkin Park. BUSTED (R.I.P.). Beyonce. Aerosmith. Ash. Coldplay. Kelly Clarkson. Finger Eleven.

Movies:

Fever Pitch. Pirates of the Carribean: the Curse of the Black Pearl. Independance Day. The Longest Yard.

Television:

Match of the Day. Only Fools and Horses. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Have I Got News For You. They Think It's All Over.

Books:

Green Angel Tower: Seige (Tad Williams). Wit'ch Star (James Clemens). The Bonehunters (Steven Erikson). Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Can't recall author).

Heroes:

Thierry Henry (Arsenal). Tomas Rosicky (Arsenal) Dennis Bergkamp (Formerly of Arsenal). Ian Wright (Formerly of Arsenal). Arsene Wenger (Arsenal). Herbert Chapman (Formerly of Arsenal). Myself, naturally

My Blog

Does this mean I'm not single anymore?

Haha. Lost my duck of fourteen months without a girlfriend. I think. Well, it's a long story... So why not write a blog about it? Actually, I was gonna write one halfway through the saga, but I don't ...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 05:23:00 PST

Ssssh. I'm ignoring someone >,>

Need to start with a quick shout-out to Kirsty, a friend of mine from work who was involved in a pretty bad car accident on Thursday night. Luckily she only suffered bad whiplash and should be okay so...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 09:27:00 PST

Ben and Na - the unedited truth on the closing chapter

Hokay. Well, basically, I wasn't going to be so bold as to do anything like this, but due to a touch of depression on Sunday, thanks to a few reasons, a couple of good friends of mine, one male and on...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 04:25:00 PST

It's not love. You're just a twat.

Right. You're gonna fucking listen to me and listen good. You. Do. Not. Love. Him/Her. You're fucking nineteen/twenty. You've been with this boy/girl for about six months. Now s/he's dumped you pretty...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 09:34:00 PST

Yes, you got dumped. Now grow up and get over it!

Believe me, people, SOME of you will be offended by the material that is about to be put into this blog. I, personally, don't care, because the ones who will be offended will be the ones I'm trying to...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Sun, 15 Oct 2006 10:48:00 PST

Well, that's pretty rubbish. How can I get...

Well, I haven't posted a blog in a while, I guess. Was a touch bored earlier in the day, spent some of the afternoon skirting through some of Myspace's more "popular" blog entries and upon reading the...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 11:04:00 PST

Tidenham can't beat Newnham, but I'll you what, I made up for it on FIFA ^-^

Bah. Tidenham slumped to an appauling 5-0 hammering away at Newnham this weekend, in a game that both myself and Lee started. We didn't deserve to lose 5-0, perhaps 2-0 would have been better but we w...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 09:47:00 PST

Grand-Slam Sunday!!!

Absolutely awesome Sunday to override an average Saturday! Was supposed to be playing for Tidenham against Longhope on Saturday, my mum came down and everything to watch the game but the bastards neve...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 10:59:00 PST

***RANT ALERT*** 'if u dnt commnt on dis blog den u wil neva fal in luv agen'

Fucking bulletins. Fucking stupid, useless, twatting bulletins. Yeah, bulletins can be alright sometimes, I suppose. Those questionnaire things are pretty good and cure boredom for a few minutes and i...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Sun, 10 Sep 2006 09:48:00 PST

What a BORING few days

Man, since the excitement of Friday, there's been no news to put in this blog. What's the point in having it if I've got nothing to put in it? Hm... Let's see. I got Kasabian's new album on Monday. It...
Posted by *. Ben .* on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 01:16:00 PST