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San Francisco, CA
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Under Construction... However, you can add me on my Flickr if you would like. Useless Factoids About Me:
The past couple months for me have really been a struggle. I feel like I am having my arms ripped apart from me. One side pulling, and the other side pulling. The last few weeks have been probably the hardest few weeks in a long time. It's been full of relationship strangling decisions for both sides that make me want to pull my hair out. Everyday, every decision I make seems to make one side happy, and fuck the other side over. And for awhile now, I've been doing ok at balancing the two. But lately, its just been a living hell.
I've been making wrong decisions left and right and I sincerely appoligize to anyone affected. This is so hard, no one understands the pressure that is put upon me to keep everything good and flowing. Some days I just want to end it, and others I thank god that everyone is in my life. And everytime I screw someone over, or put someone aside for another, I get bashed to where I dont know what to do anymore. If anyone knows me half-way decently, I am a kind hearted person who tries to do as much for anyone as I can. I feel like I've been trying to hard, and everything just has been snowballing, so much that I'm losing friendships that I've had for years, and a loving relationship with my girlfriend.
Look, I know this sounds hella emo, but believe me, it's far from it. I would like to call this a controlled rant to let anyone here know why I am, the way I am these days. I'm usually the kind to hold everything in until I just explode, but now I have no choice but to exhale. I just wish everything could work out the way I want it to, and where everything could just work out perfectly and I wouldn't have to worry about the tension between both sides. Something has got to give, because I just cant take this anymore. I don't know what to do, and I just cant choose one over the other and end it. It's just not Tim to do that. I cannot do that. As easy as it may seem, ive tried and it put me to tears. I would regret ever making that kind of decision again. No one understands how much this situation hurts...
Damnit, what do I do? FUCK!!!!!!
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