to whom it may concern:
nearly every "person" (if you could call them that!)that i have interacted with has taken advantage of me, made wrong assumptions about me not in my favor, or totally misunderstood me. just b/c i do not act just like them, they (sometimes subconsciously) jump to the conclusion that i must be crazy, stupid, evil, or immoral. for my whole life, i have given everyone the benefit of a doubt when they did something that i did not like. just b/c i don't know what they're doing doesn't mean that it's wrong. but i am starting to realize that instead of returning my courtesy, they prefer to take advantage of my timidity. they have physically & verbally pounced on me & caused emotional turmoil that only brain injury could override. the more reasonable ones just ignore me. i am depressed, edgy, lonely, & withdrawn. but none of those weaknesses stop me from being logical or reasonable.
i have gone to @ least one wkly support group for more than a yr. i have gone to shrink after shrink, the longest for 9 months. i have read a whole stack of self help & psychology books. prozac, testosterone, & now, ativan, are fine but not enough.
i am out of energy, $$, & out of ideas.
so i have ridden a bike outside of (previous county of residence), which i have done before. except this time, i don't plan on returning (in the near future). b/c i am too uptight, i need to unwind before i (try to) come up with an answer to the question of where i went wrong.
very truly yours,
marfan