Chuck Norris... for many reasons...
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.