About Me
The Worst Rapper Alive
For his entire life, Burton "B.Green" Greenstein has had an amazing and unprecedented goal: to become the worst rapper of all time. Having been born into a white, Jewish, middle-class family with no inherent semblance of rhythm, charisma, or knowledge of the streets, B.Green got a serious head start on accomplishing his feat. In his early childhood, his sister forced him to attend school wearing pink nail polish. This was the stepping stone that led into a lifetime of humiliation and degradation. After a grade 2 classmate who was scheduled to sing a karaoke version of Roxette's "Listen to your Heart" at a school-wide bake sale fell ill with a mysterious case of spontaneous human combustion, Burton stepped in and got his first chance to perform in front of a live audience. The tone-deaf and illiterate Burton belted out an unbelievable rendition, but was unfortunately cut short when teachers and other crowd members began scraping their fingernails across chalkboards and chewing tin foil. As he was walking off the stage, Burton's acid-washed jeans which were two sizes too small became unbuttoned and fell down, exposing his tighty whiteys. The moment was caught on tape and sent to America's Funniest Home Videos, but it was denied by Bob Saget because it was "more sad than funny". As a youth, Burton began honing his performance skills by doing covers of Milli Vanilli songs in front of his Grandmother's knitting circle. Shortly thereafter, he was banned because of an unfortunate self-inflicted impaling incident involving one of the circle's founding members. Burton then found a cassette tape in the bottom of a K Mart bargain bin that changed his life...MC CUMMERSHELL's "Bombs on ya moms" showed Burton that even with little talent and a limited understanding of the English language, it was possible to become a recording artist. This motivation propelled Burton to write and record his first single "Bitches in Da Club Shake Yo Asses and Check My Bling While I Lounge in my Lowrider Hummer" which made it to 969th on the Canadian Billboard top 1000. Reviews started pouring in from around the world: "Never heard it" - Casey Casem, "Uninspired Nonsensical Garbage" - Master T, "This CD is now propping up my workbench and it's not working very well" - MC Mario, "Negative Five Mics" - The Source ... These acknowledgments boosted B.Green to celebrity status in his hometown of London Ontario and he quickly got an entourage of mute Romanian orphans to follow him wherever he went. At home, their job was to make Burton comfortable in every way he saw fit. They hand-washed his clothing and even doubled as footrests when he wanted to recline and read his picture books. He dressed them in 'B.Green Street Gear', an all-baby-seal-fur clothing line that he designed. His first video featured the oprhans as backup dancers. Unfortunately, one of them collapsed and was seriously injured on set after being forced to dance the running man for 6 straight hours. This prompted B.Green to take a temporary hiatus from all of his responsibilities. After 8 years, he now feels ready to get back in the game. His new album "Record Company Slave" featuring DJ Handcuffed-By-A&Rs is scheduled to hit the streets in mid 2006. Follow along as he fights off other commercial rappers in his quest to reach the bottom, there's no telling how low he may go!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now for the Boring Version...
Burton B.Green Greenstein was born and raised in London, Ontario, Canada. Introduced to Hip Hop at age 6, Burton began rapping early on at his French Immersion public school functions. At age 9, he performed (clean) renditions of classic songs such as LL Cool Js Radio, Def Jeffs Give it Here, and pioneering Quebec Hip Hop group Mouvement Rap Francophone (M.R.F.)'s Bouger, Danser in front of hundreds of unsuspecting elementary school students, teachers, and parents.
Burton began writing his own rhymes in junior high and continued throughout
high school, honing his skills in freestyle battles and bassment jam
sessions across London. Burton moved to Montreal in 2001 to attend McGill
University where he quickly became a founding member of the first recognized Hip Hop club in the schools history. The International Society for Hip Hop Heads (ISHHH) allowed Burton to network with other rappers, DJs,
Breakdancers, and graffiti artists who shared similar ideals with regards to
promoting independence, non-violence, and consciousness in the Hip Hop
community. In December 2001, Burton began performing at various clubs and bars in and around Montreal under the name B.Green. 2002 saw B.Green team up with producer Recordface and his long-time friend and fellow London-based MC Shad to record his first professionally mixed and mastered track. This song, entitled Flows, received airplay on local college radio stations and in clubs across town. Acting as his own manager and promoter, the student-slash-rapper spent most of his free time trying to develop a name for himself in Montreals growing underground Hip Hop scene. After finishing his B.A. in Industrial Relations in May of 2005, B.Green went to Innsbruck, Austria, where he performed 3 shows at the 12th Subud World Congress with Hamburg, Germany native beatboxer Blue Monk and Seattle-based MC Ben Wuammett of The Paper Bags along with about a dozen other musicians and poets. It was after this successful trip that B.Green began the preliminary stages of establishing his own Record Label. Accompanied by co-founder, Montreals own DJ Sauce, B.Green is currently
developing North Side International, an independent venture intent on
promoting Hip Hop on an international scale. Coinciding with the
establishment of this label, B.Greens first full-length album which will
feature music by the up-and-coming Canadian producer Digs, among many
others, is scheduled to launch in mid 2006.
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