a l y s s a ♡

eon blue apocalypse ♥ .
I was born on 9/10 at 4:20 p.m. And no, I'm sorry, I didn't have a choice in the matter =] My life is pretty much one giant atomic wasteland of dead theories and former fanatical interests which have now been rendered superfluous. I like to refer to my personality as "diabolically schizotypal". I do stupid things even though I know better. I'm frequently unhappy which is a direct result of my paranoia about everything. I like cracking government codes. I like conspiracies. I like finding out secrets. I can usually tell if you're keeping one. I would make a bitchin' spy. When I love, I love whole-heartedly. When I hate, I hate deeply. Some people say laughter is the best medicine, I say, when it comes to medicine, weed takes the cake. But revenge isn't half-bad either ;] I've been told I have no ambition. That's not entirely true. I have ambition, but my ambition is to chase individual moments of happiness rather than build and organize a promising future. What is promise really, anyway? Fuck it. Life is made of moments. Sure, I don't always remember them, but I know they're passing me by. I'm tired as hell of wasting them. I have issues, I'm not gonna lie, but I make it a point to not talk about my problems unless you're one of them. I'm pessimistic one minute, and euphoric the next. I am always moved by something. I love writing, even though it seems I havent written a single intelligent thought in ages. I really really dig quirky people. I love my fantastic friends, without them i would be nothing. It's important to me to trust and be trusted, it's comforting to know that there are a handful of people out there who love me and will just fucking be there. my boyfriend kicks ass. He always makes me smile no matter what and I can't remember the last time I was this happy.♥ I'm a lucky girl & I care about him more & more everyday. I love music and film and any art for that matter. My taste in music is impeccable ;] I smoke mad grass & I like the occasional mushroom journey. i love poetic people who can sit and have an intelligent conversation about the most mundane subject, and turn it into a profound moment in my life. i believe a persons true character lies in their voice and in the way they speak. I am agnostic. I am unstable, I am erratic, I'm random, I'm loud. I hate myself and then I love myself. I'm smart, I'm opinionated, and I'm too god damn deep for my own good. Nihilist, Activist, Feminist, Sociopath. Right now I'm just being, just relaxing & existing and that's all that matters. What I want, well that's one thing. But right now, all I need is me.
“Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.”
--Jack Kerouac.
"Don't know what to do;
I don't glitter like the stars above,
I don't glow like neon alone,
Don't blush it's just the wind outside;
Don't rush to be by my side."
&& for my two best friends in the world;these are what some down ass bitches look like;
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To Bethany; my best friend since the day we started really hanging out. we bonded over music and drugs, then over conversation, then it grew from there. its 3 years later, and i see your bitch ass every single day..and im still not sick of you. we are huge dorks, and most people think were fucking idiots; but personally, i think we are fucking badass. you and danielle are the only other people who understand music and share the same passion for the arts as me. i love you for that. i remember when we said we were gonna start a fight club ahaha..and yup we got the scars to prove it..{my arm is still not healed bitch}; it seems like just yesterday we were going on walks to smoke cigarettes so we wouldnt get caught. weve shared everything, including a house and a little twin bed. fuck. i guess time really does fly when your having fun. I FUCKING ♥ YOU
To Danielle b.k.a. "Daddy"; BEST DAD EVER! damn. i was 13 when we met. we were at the mall, and i gave you a cigarette. ever since then, weve been close. i mean like really close. you share my passion and taste in writing and music and art like no other. you know pretty much all of my secrets just like i know yours. weve broken the law together so many times, they should re-write the law specially for us. we have so many incredible memories together, like doing conserta and adderall and staying up all night, or even just sitting at home, watching CKY and bullshitting. i think of cleveland ave... sneaking out at 2 in the morning and going to hang out with nick and tom...i could go on and on.nobody gets us. they probably never will. fuck them. Daddy, your my bitch. you are now and you always will be. i am honored to call you guys my best friends.I♥YOU!!!