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Dolemite

Put your weight on it!

About Me

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I've led a real hard life, spent 8 years in jail. Where black ass was held without no chance for bail. I sat in that little bitty cell, without even a crumb of bread. The average muthatfucka'd been long since dead. From the beginnin, niggas been jealous of my shit. Me with my fly bitches and the clothes were just it. Nickle and dime hustlers and penny pimp dealers,They were all bitin my game like some jive ass stealers. That rat bastard Willie Greene, was the worst by far. He planted coke and stolen furs in the trunk of my car. When the police came the wanted to search out my pad. When I told em no, they said "Nigga, you think you so bad." "You got them flashy cars and all them black chicks, You gettin' all the money from all their rich tricks. But your game is up and your time has come, so let's go. Open up the trunk of your car and put on a show. I told them crackers, "There's nothin in my trunk, see. When I opened the trunk, "That shit don't belong to me." I seen them stolen furs and it was one helluva shock. They picked them all up and found some fuckin crack rock! "I don't know how that shit got there," is what I said. But, set-up was on. So kicked them crackers in the muthafuckin head. I held three honkeys off and put up a helluva fight. But I was outnumbered when I saw Mitchel and White.
Those two fuckin racist cops had been bought by Willie Greene, They waved their damn guns and in my face like they is all bad and mean. I threw the hammer down on White's head right on the street, But Mitchell was there to hold me down and I got my black ass beat. That's how I landed my black ass in Cell Block D, But while I was in I knew Queen Bee was out there fightin for me. She had my bitches learnin karate and sellin pussy on the street. Just so my The Total Experience could stay on it feet. They all held on, till the warden called me in and said, "You're free."
Now my bad ass was back on the street, as the niggas could see. But while I was locked up, that mean, mistreatin Willie Greene. Come to the Fourth Ward and started runnin my scene. I found out the crackers in the FBI couldn't control all the crime, That had started to build while I was doin my time. They thought I was the kingpin, and once I was off the street. Their wrap-up on drugs and crime would be all but complete. But that shit didn't work, them honkeys got the wrong man.
So the warden let me loose to help the FBI with their plan. When I got out, I got some bad fuckin news from Queen Bee, Someone drove by and gunned down my nephew Little Jimmy. I also found out that Pinky was dancin on Willie's stage. All while I was holed up in a muthafuckin cage. His niggas busted up my club and smacked Queen Bee, But when I got out, them niggas had to deal with me.
I finally decide to go to Creeper, who hung out at the Mr. Fatburger stand. When I found him I said, "I hear alot of shit has been going down, man. If you whoop some information on me, don't worry bout yo fix, I'll whoop some bread on ya man, so you can get yo kicks." Then he got so fuckin doped up, he couldn't even think straight. I said, "I ain't gonna learn a muthafuckin thing at this rate." I smacked his black ass, "Who killed little Jimmy?" I fussed. "Wait a minute nigga, I tell ya! I tell ya!" he cussed. He said, "He was comin from school, just him a his chick. Willie's men shot him in a drove by, them niggas is real slick."
Then two of Willie Greene's monkeys busted down Creeper's door. They shot Creeper down, before I could beat em to the floor. Then I was back in jail, but someone out there got me free. When I walked out the jail door, who was there but Pinky. "Pinky!" I yelled, "Your pussy is sweeter than bear meat." She said, "No time for that, I know who been puttin drugs on the street. She had the 411 about about the whole street scene.
It didn't surprise me to find out it was that bastard, Willie Greene. She had the proof. She had the proof that them niggas would fear. She knew that the drugs were bein brought in from the pier. We snuck up to one of the dicks fishery boats. I popped a cocaine filled fish in the pocket of my fur coat.
Now we had the proof to put Willie and his gang down, And I was persoannly gonna put my foot in the ass of that clown. I went to The Total Experience, that's my clubs name. The party was on, and I was onto Willie Greene's game. I tried to discuss it like a couple of smart men. He called me a bitch and I knew it was over then. My bitches used that kung-fu on them hapless niggas. Them bad black tigers are something they just didn't figga. Even the cook was whippin ass in the kitchen. He gave Willie's niggas all a muthafuckin ass whippin. I turned that place out, kickin ass on the rest I grabbed Willie up and pulled his heart out his chest. "That's for fuckin wit me," I yelled at that dead sucka."You rat-soup eatin insecure jock-jawwed muthafucka!"

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

That rat bastard Willie Greene for planting coke and stolen furs in the trunk of my car.

Movies:





Dolemite , The Human Tornado, Petey Wheatstraw, Monkey Hustle, The Legend of Dolemite , , and Shaolin Dolemite & The Avenging Disco Godfather

Heroes:

Me!!!

My Blog

Who would win the battle?

Who do you think would win a knock down fight between ME, Shaft, and Superfly?
Posted by Dolemite on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST