If you are like me you are tired with politics the way they are. That is why you should say "Will Newcomb in '08!" I will take care of all of the big issues. Foreign policy- Will Newcomb. Greedy corporations- Will Newcomb. Slanted news broadcasts- Will Newcomb. Trust me, the last thing rogue nations want is me in office. Iran, North Korea, France will all be asking themselves "Willie Newcomb?"
Some of my campaign promises:
1 If OPEC is going to restrict their oil exports then we will restrict our food exports. The U.S. only imports 5% of it's food, and most of that is crap I don't like anyway. However we export over $40 billion of food every year. Without oil I can still walk. Without food....
2 Illegal immigration. I will give amnesty to those who are actually fleeing something first, i.e. Cuba, Haiti, any country in Africa or Asia in civil war or with oppressive regimes. If a Cuban makes a boat out of a 56 Bel Air and sails it from Havana to the coast of Miami and get picked up by the Coast Guard, they should get to stay in the US before someone who just hid in the trunk of a 2003 Impala for 15 minutes near Nogales.
3 ANWR and offshore drilling. Politicians in Florida think their tourism will go down if they have offshore oil platforms. Won't tourism also go down if gas cost $6 a gallon and a flight from anywhere to Orlando cost $2000? Let the VOTERS decide whether they want drilling or not, not the lobbyists (unless the lobbyist give me expensive gifts and free gas).
4 South Carolina has to buy some mountains and different trees. Someone has to take a stand on South Carolina, and so far I am the only candidate to do it.
5 I am going to be the first candidate to openly be bought...er um "sponsored". I am currently waiting for someone to offer me new campaign vehicles (Prevost and Ferrari, I am talking to you), I think Tascam needs to give me a 2488 to record my campaign speeches, Fender you can give me guitars for...just trust me, they will help my campaign, and I will always take money. To get around campaing rules the money will be for naming rights, yes for the right price I will become President Pepsi, the choice of the next generation.
6 Term limits...for reality TV "stars". Yes I am talking to you Trishelle, Omarosa, Johnny Fairplay, Jerri from survivor, etc. And if you are a reality star that is tired of being exploited, do not pose in "Playboy".
More campaign promises to come...
Be sure to check out my blog and tell me, your next president, what you want from me. Tell me what a little Newcomb would do for you!
I just found this website from XEROX, a free easy way to tell our troops that our thoughts are with them:
http://www.letssaythanks.com/
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS,
PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!
