Alexplorer profile picture

Alexplorer

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


We are proud to announce the release of Alexplorer to the public. To better become acquainted with Alexplorer, please read the following FAQ...
Q: Is Alexplorer a person or a phenomenon?
A: Both. Much like evolution, gravity, relativity, and so many other scientific discoveries, Alexplorer is simultaneously a theory as well as a fact. Alexplorer has been proposed as a fundamental force of nature, but studies are pending as he has thus far has never been able to be contained. This profile is merely an electronic embodiment of the phenomenon that goes by that name.
Q: What accessories does Alexplorer come with?
A: Alexplorer is fully equipped with a GPS, Alphasmart, and a digital camera.
Q: Where can I get an Alexplorer?
A: On-line, obviously.
Q: Does Alexplorer have any known bugs?
A: Yes, but Alexplorer is constantly being upgraded. Alexplorer is guaranteed to be free of any viruses.
Q: Is Alexplorer available for weddings, birthdays, or other parties?
A: Yes, but Alexplorer won't bring you any presents and you will be expected to supply the cake for him to jump out of.
Q: Does Alexplorer have any special powers?
A: Yes. Alexplorer can change red lights to green simply by staring at them for a while.
Q: What can I feed Alexplorer? Does he like anything?
A: Alexplorer loves sushi and nipples. Not neccessarily in that order. Under no circumstances should Alexplorer be given Mexican food, especially after midnight.
Q: Is it also true that Alexplorer should never be around water?
A: Yes, if it is "holy water."
Q: What about bright lights?
A: They'll keep you warm. Alexplorer will adjust the shutter speed accordingly.
Q: Is Alexplorer evil?
A: Yes.
Q: Can Alexplorer really travel through time?
A: Yes. Most people do. Those who are stuck in the past are defective. Avoid them.
Q: What does that button do?
A: Do NOT touch that button. Ever!!!
Q: I have a question that isn't answered by this FAQ.
A: That isn't a question in and of itself, but feel free to use the contact link on this page. Qualified experts will research your question and get back to you promptly.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

  • Goth girls who need spankings (Because you're evil, aren't you?)

  • Pranksters, preferably those with video equipment (Because where's the fun if you can't share it with friends later?)

  • Interior decorators (Because the lavender and this green shit just has to go, but what to put in its place?)

  • Urban explorers (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you don't know what you're missing.)

  • Astrologers, Jesus freaks, homophobes, and other cultists (Because you are the comedians most deserving of heckling.)

  • People who can type English real good (Well, how about people who have something to say at least?)

  • p.s. I don't care how cute you are or how interesting you seem, I am just not going to add you as a friend if you can't bother to introduce yourself. I mean, please! Some possible ice breakers: How did you find me? Why are you sending me a friend request? How would you have hosted the Academy Awards differently if you were in charge next year?
    Who I'd like to beat:
  • George Bush (either of them)
  • Bill Gates (aka Satan)
  • Paris Hilton and Lionel Richie's daughter
  • Spammers
  • People who make spyware (cut off their hands)
  • Bill O'Reilly (sack of shit)
  • Reality show contestants (losers all)
  • My Blog

    Again with the grammar annoyances

    Two is a lot of words. Well, that's true for some people who think alot is one word.Oh, possum. Who ever heard of a first letter that's there and pretends not to be? Yeah, it's playing opossum.Comm...
    Posted by on Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:04:00 GMT

    Perspective. Get some.

    Which one of these is not like the others?:We have a few less celebrities now.  After losing a handful over the past few weeks, guess what?  We still have too many.  I know this because we're making a...
    Posted by on Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:13:00 GMT

    Language as an indicator of subjective reality, Part I

    [Note: Previously posted as a bulletin.  Other parts will follow.  Since there's been a significant delay in getting to those, I'm reposting it here as a reminder.]Hypothesis:  You can tell what's imp...
    Posted by on Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:07:00 GMT

    An impromptu agnostic's manifesto

    This is an excerpt from a lengthy reply to one of my cousins. Actually, this is par for my family. You think I could talk your ear off? You should meet her. The letter was in response to one she s...
    Posted by on Fri, 01 May 2009 15:03:00 GMT

    Pee Wee Herman, Monica Lewinski, and AIDS

    Almost no one mentioned masturbation when I was a kid. Well, there were euphemisms for it, but they were usually delivered as oblique references to the act, such as calling someone a wanker or a jerk...
    Posted by on Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:12:00 GMT

    Muslims killing Muslims...

    ...is not news.As I understand it (based on what I get from the media), being a Muslim living in the backward-ass Muslim world is a leading cause of death among Muslims living in the backward-ass Musl...
    Posted by on Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:33:00 GMT

    Again with the grammar annoyances

    Location. Location. Location. Where's the a in realtor? Yep. How many of them are there? Okay, good. How many syllables is it? Wrong! Next time I hear you say real-a-tor, I'm going to drop a ...
    Posted by on Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:05:00 GMT

    More people I hate

    People who post bulletins announcing they posted a blog. Would it kill you to post the text in the bulletin? Why are you making me go three more clicks away to read what you could have already told ...
    Posted by on Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:25:00 GMT

    Who do you think you're talking to?

    Venue determines the audience. Some people forget that. Some never learned. Both groups send a message molded for a different medium. The basics break down as follows.The Blog - It's for general i...
    Posted by on Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:16:00 GMT

    More grammar annoyances.

    Dollars and sense. We write it as $100, but in practice we say a hundred dollars. So why is it we put punctuation at the end of the sentence and (most) units of currency in front? Centsless!Tulle b...
    Posted by on Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:25:00 GMT