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es, i was discovered and adopted by my foster family after they noticed me bewildered, tear stained and wandering aimlessly around the poor peoples scandinavian supermarket store netto, having busted my way out of a cereal packet from whence i was originally intended to be given away as one of those shitty tiny toy giveaways, kelloggs need to be held accountable and i still await justice to this day. my new family being northern (and this being the 80's) i had to forego any sort of education, in order that i might become the primary breadearner of the household, i was forced to work down't pit, i recieved little in the way of actual monetary reward, having to make do with leftovers from my (kindly if hideously deformed)fellow miners tripe and coal-peppered lunches and drinking vast amounts of crab juice to slake my robust thirst, i managed to triumph over adversity through my intense hatred of margaret thatcher and my enduring love of the punky political music around at the time, the specials et al, to this day i cannot listen to early jam without an overwhelming urge to knock the shit out of a seemingly inpenetrable coal face, ahh those were the days, i eventually escaped my sparce yet strangely fulfilling existence by seducing the union leaders son, a sweet faced if rather portly young man named Eustace who would submit to my every whim, his family did not approve of his union with a common coal girl, we eloped and moved to lahaina, hawaii, where we would sit sipping the delicate milk of fresh coconuts and watching the sun set in the shade of the palm fraunds, by this point, i was in my early 20s and knew that i had to face some home truths, i was not nor never had been in love with Eustace Winfred Shufflebottom, i left and returned to leeds just as the new yorkshire scene was kicking off, it an exciting time to be alive kids, to avoid once again being subject to my cruel foster parents forced hard labour ethic, i now live in the highly sought-after most spacious tree in hyde park, living as nature intended and relying for my sustenance and succour on the kindness of strangers, especially mahmoods takeaway,(the asian mcdonalds) with their delicious halal meat cheeseburgers, if ever your in the area and are good enough to spare some time and roughage, dont hesitate to give me a shout, my stump is always open! x