HI KIDS! I'm your NEW FRIEND! ABRAM THE SAFETY APE!!
I'm the driver of the Art of Bleeding ambulance. And, yes, I am a GORILLA.
.
.
HERE IS A LITTLE VIDEO STARRING ABRAM THE SAFETY APE.
.
Would you like to learn all about SAFETY? There is so much to learn when it comes to SAFETY. But.... It can be complicated. Sometimes being safe means keeping out of trouble. Sometimes it means knowing what to do when trouble happens anyway... After all, sometimes Trouble comes to you, right? Sometimes, no matter how safe you act, Trouble comes marching right into your home without knocking. Or Trouble meets you on a street corner. Or in the schoolyard. Or down at the river where all those old refrigerators and TVs are dumped. Notice how I am talking about Trouble as if it were a "he." It's not really a "he," is it? Or a "she" for that matter. Trouble is more of an impersonal entity, really. Like an evil spirit. But sometimes it's easier for us to think about hard things if we make them more familiar. That's why we talk about Trouble as if it were a person. It helps us visualize. You can picture Trouble with long white fingers and hungry eyes parked and waiting across your street, watching from his car. If that's what Trouble really were -- a person -- it would be easy. ABRAM THE SAFETY APE could just run across the street and drag Trouble out of that car and pound on Trouble till Trouble's nose is bleeding and he's promising to stay out of the neighborhood for good. SAFETY APE could just pound and pound till he hears those sirens coming.
