Someone who's not narcissistic.Well, here is a series of promises That actually speak of true friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will Help you get drunk and plot revenge Against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will Try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will Know you are plotting something That I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will Rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will Tell you horrible stories about How much worse it could be, Until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will Use little words. 7. When you are sick -- I will Tell you to stay the hell away from me Until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will Point and laugh at your clumsy ass This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask. "Because you're my friend!"