life is hard. Everyday i wake up is just another day i wish i had stayed in bed.if i am mean people think i am to mean and if i am nice like i usually am people take advantage of my kindness. im tired of all the times i have been wronged by others and i am mostly tired of the fact that i forgive them time and time again and then when they do bad things the next time i can only be mad at myself becuase i have forgivin them the first time which in turn allows them to do it in the future. I am tired of feeling weak and out of controll i have nothing left to give anyone. I am so tired of watching everyone around me showered in happiness when i myself have never experianced what its like to TRUELY be happy not once in my entire life. I am also tired of being called emo becuse i have fucking feelings emo is just a joke of a concept and people are allowed to be sad without other people making a mockary out of it! I am sick and tired of other people trying to one up me on the hard times i have been through yes eveyone has had some hard times i understand.. it is not a competion as to whom has had the hardest life everyones feelings matter in one way or another. i once heard that only rich people can afford to be crazy and its true i have to get up everyday because otherwise i couldnt live. but what is a life without happiness. I am so so tired of people telling me you just have to wait good things will come you will be happy someday but when is it going to be someday? when is it my turn to stop hurting? I have been waiting almost twenty years! that is two decades of hurt and still nothing mostly i am just sick and tired of waiting! how long do people expect me to keep getting up everyday for this life.
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