Derek Lambert profile picture

Derek Lambert

nag_champa

About Me

He's Derek Lambert, and he plays the shit out of the drums and wears a lot of Volcom. He's a very nice, uptight, narcissistic bastard who exudes a vicious disposition, and can be exceedingly volatile and rash upon provocation of such behavior... in other words- Don't cross him; unless you would like to be disposed of in a quick, professional manner. He's an animal; an epinephrine addict, a genius. He's proud to be white, has an IQ of 167, and despite being highly prone to empathy; has absolutely no regard for his own felicity, safety, or well-being. Don't try this at home; Derek's a professional..... ";

My Interests

Drums, Volcom, Adventures in the mountains, Shreddin' the GNAR, Parkour, Hallucinogens, Morphine, Klonopin, Valium, intense physical activity, and causing HAVOC! And combining any of the aforementioned with Volcom; even Volcom itself. .. ..

I'd like to meet:

Volcom!..

Music:

Rock and Roll is Bitchin', and Punk Rocks...but Rap is for NIGGERS; and niggers make Derek Lambert want to puke all over everything.

Movies:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Donnie Darko, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Enemy at the Gates, Reservoir Dogs, Lord of the Rings, SLC Punk!, Alice in Wonderland, Fantasia, rock climbing videos, Jackass, CKY, War movies, Westerns

Television:

He presses buttons on the remote until a reasonable image appears. The faint murmur of the television set helps Derek sleep at night. Usually the Science, History or Discovery channels.

Books:

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Flowers for Algernon, anything by Hunter S. Thompson, Tom Clancy books, pharmacopaea(s)

Heroes:

His Mommy, Hunter S. Thompson, Volcom, Mike Rowe, Dirty Harry, Randall Patrick McMurphy, Max Weinberg, Danny Carey, Adam Carson, Meggers, Yvon Chouinard, Tenzing Norgay, Sir Edmund Hillary, Henry Rollins, Sid Vicious, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-o, but last, and above all; himself - the one and only Derek Fucking Lambert. ..

My Blog

Random Short Story .1

Whatever, she mumbled. She never really paid much attention to what he meant, anyway. He didn't see her as self-centered, he just wished she could hear what he was really saying instead of making a...
Posted by Derek Lambert on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 11:47:00 PST

Risk vs. Reality

  In recent times extreme sports have grown to unprecedented popularity while the risks associated with them have been marginalized. People with little or no experience or dedication to their spo...
Posted by Derek Lambert on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 08:47:00 PST

light pollution

Light PollutionSeeking a dark place to observe the transition between dusk and night is a chilling experience, especially when alone. On a recent evening, I made my way towards the sand dunes so as to...
Posted by Derek Lambert on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 08:32:00 PST

It's Never Opposite Day.

It is Impossible for the statement "It's Opposite Day" to ever be true. If, on a given day, assuming it was not in fact Opposite Day (one can infer that it it not opposite day by observing the fact th...
Posted by Derek Lambert on Mon, 23 Jan 2006 06:49:00 PST