Bailey

this is the biography of bailey vanveldhuizen, as told by richard eugene owens II. bailey is like none other. she often sits in the middle of the road and writes obscenities with chalk. moms and their children often give her dirty looks, but guess what? she doesnt give a big fat shit because she is sooo hood. her life consists of stealing babies from the hospital and raising them to the age of 2, at which point she sells them to the black market. other criminal activities include: seal clubbing and ass stashing bricks of cocaine across the mexican border, arson and smoking thai sticks in various administration buildings. she hates pregnant women, often punching them in the belly, and she loathes oatmeal, like none other.