ROOT INJECTOR

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling buildings and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel bus stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Brazilian refugees, I write award-winning poems and I manage time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for four days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike break dancing skills. I can pilot a tricycle up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in Tang Dynasty pottery, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Morocco. I'm excellent at parallel parking and open bars. I was once in a place full of love and laughter, I have since been trying to find my way back. Using only a hoe and a glass of water, I single-handedly defended a small village in Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I miss Maloney's down beach, and I was scouted by the Marlins. I am the subject of numerous documentaries, none of which can be seen in America. I invented a little known drink called the Red-Bull and Vodka. When I'm bored, I build large and intricate Koi ponds in my back yard. I enjoy urban free climbing. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair hearing aids and transistor radios free of charge. I am a hardwood floor enthusiast, Internet porn tycoon, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening chaps. I don't perspire, I sweat. I am a private citizen, yet I receive tons of fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won many gift certificates. Last winter I toured all over New Jersey with my genius brother and his centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles. Grandmothers and children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read War and Peace, Chuck Norris' autobiography, and 15 issues of Highlights in one day and still had time to refurbish the Brady's RV that evening. I know the exact location of every food item at the Washington Ave. WaWa in Margate. If you don't believe me ask Brady. I have performed covert operations for the Bulgarian Liberation Front. I sleep once a week, when I do manage to sleep, I sleep with one eye open. While on vacation in Tijuana I successfully gained entry to the United States with two B.L.F. members, a third was sacrificed as a diversion. (Good lookin' out Yuri) The Laws of Physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I zig, I zag, and my bills are all paid. On weekends to let off steam, I participate in full contact Origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made four-course meals using only SPAM and Ramen noodles. If you don't believe me ask Brady. I breed prize winning Tulips. I have won underground cockfights in Vietnam, cliff-diving competitions in Cozumel, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I am a world-record holder in Golden Tee Golf, I have performed open wound surgery involving wood fiber and a pair of tweezers, and I know with absolute certainty who shot JFK. On a final note, I must say that this would not have been possible without you Cutty Sark, wherever you are. Oh, and television commercials are poo...

Pimp out your webpage with PimpWebpage

.. .... ....If "Heide Jordaine" gets stuck, just click on her and drop her elsewhere and she'll keep going.