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Loving My Self

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3 Long Years:To do so much for a person who uses and abuses you Hurts*Its even worst when they totally show it and dont even care*Family, Friends, and everyone who you know hates him*But to you it doesnt matter WHY?, Thats your boo*For someone with no RESPECT for females, and nothing really going with him self, NO money, JOB, Life,and NO TYPE OF FELLINGS* by the way dont get his pic twisted he is 21 years old*I loved this man more then anyone i have ever known*He has my heart around his neck*But I will let GOD get that back*I am in no type of retiliation(Spell?) But I pray, Hope, and beg my Lord to pay Micheal Tayvon Wilson back for the struggles i have gone through*I gave up family, work, School, money, friends, my pride, and a 3mth unborn baby*I advise Every Single Female Out Here NEVER put a man first*I thought it could be done but TRUST AND BELIEVE I have seen it all*To even have the word SUICIDE in my mind, and it has a affect and a question on my life was CRAZY*I now understand the pain and touture of these young females that have taken their lifes over these young men because of the word LOVE*I have totally Lost my self*I cant understand who i am*I feel i was only living for this *BOY!* BUT the reality of the whole situation is, If i was to do something stupid as in taking my life, It would hurt him but his life goes on*So my whole conclusion is to let him suffer his own way*I know i could get much better*I know he will NEVER,NEVER,NEVER find another who will have more then me in life,Look, Smell, Cook, Love him, Give to him Better then i have*He will suffer slowly maybe in money ways, job ways, sexual ways, or health wise and i cant say painfullly or easily but i would never wish the worst for him but what God has instore for him is out my hands*God feels my pain* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok Tyme For An Update…….Well Its not good to juggle men around...I realized its takes a mistake to make you stronger...I have recently been talking back to an X…So I could the looser off my mind…While with my X I felt a tense uncomfortable feeling…But when I left I wanted to stay longer…I got so use to being around that looser, that I lost the feeling to be around a real man…A man With a job(might not be the right kind), Money, Respect(MUCH RESPECT), and goals…I left this MAN for this LOOSER…The fact of the matter was the looser wasn’t a looser when I met him he became a looser…I think when you have a REAL WOMEN in your life, you should become a REAL MAN or a stronger man…He became a TRU LOOSER…I have know "D"(x) for 4 ½ years…He has never had to call and ask for money or any other type of things that have to do with money…He has never called me out my name…He has never hit me…He has never and I hope it is a tru fact but he has never cheated…Many people say you never know but I think some when in life you meet a man where cant nobody say she stupid he prolly cheating…but I know for a fact he didn’t!!!...I think breaking up with that looser was meant to be… I have finally found my self again…Thanks to all who has given me advice…I feel the way I felt Jan 2003!!!


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