Turtle Meatiness profile picture

Turtle Meatiness

No, Donny, these men are nihilists; there's nothing to be afraid of.

About Me


EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER LEARNED IS WRONG. I believe in civil disobedience. I believe in Israel's right to exist. I believe that the government needs to keep it's laws off my body. I believe in a better world. I believe there are infinite facets of the human mind and soul; that makes us beautiful. I'm scarred but I'm not jaded. I'm sardonic. I'm self-contradictory. I don't promise much but I promise to confuse you. I'm an avid reader. I'm a movie junkie. I'm a no talent writer. I'm a people watcher; mainly because most of the people I come in contact with will inevitably become the recipient of a Darwin Award.
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."- Oscar Wilde
..

You will swallow some tacks. You are a little
weird, maybe not so much in a good way. Buy a
yellow tie and wear it on your head.
What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
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As it turns out, jenny is aroused by ...
Little Red Riding Hood
'What crazy thing are you aroused by?' at QuizUniverse.com
My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Reverend Countess Jenny the Waspish of Deepest Throcking
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Interests



Zombies, always be prepared. DO you have a zombie escape route? Writing short stories and really terrible poetry. B-movies, pez, old books, sock monkeys, reading folklore, collecting faeries and dolls, silent movies, theatre, bubblewrap, pugs, dollhouses, Don Knotts, The Muppets, alphabetizing other people's cds and books.

I'd like to meet:

Incestuous lesbian albino string theorists.

Music:

Wizard Rock, The Smiths, The Pixies, Siouxsie and The Banshees, Sunny Day Real Estate, The Mighty Lemon Drops, Bobby Darin, Mel Torme, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, The Cure, Jesus and Mary Chain, Bauhaus, Tim Buckley, London After Midnight, Jeff Buckley, Switchblade Symphony, Voltaire, The Cruxshadows, James, Lords of Acid, Erasure, Electronic, Radiohead, Weezer, Neil Diamond, The Monkees, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, The Ramones, Social Distortion, My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, Rosetta Stone, Lou Reed, Postal Service, Meat Loaf, The Flaming Lips, Sisters of Mercy, Seraphim Shock, Leonard Cohen, Simon and Garfunkel, Pulp, Mike Nesmith, Joy Division, David Bowie, Modest Mouse, Violent Femmes, Dead Milkmen, Beborn Beton, ABBA, Bob Dylan, Cat Stevens, Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers, The Judybats, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fleetwood Mac, Neil Young, They Might Be Giants, Legendary Pink Dots, Snow Patrol, The LeeVees, Sinead O'Connor, Underworld, L7, Heather Nova, Goldfinger, The Church, T-Rex, Van Morrison, Orbital, Better Than Ezra, The Velvet Underground, The New York Dolls, Phil Ochs, Pete Seeger, Odetta, Beck

Movies:

Casablanca, Breakfast at Tiffanys, The Velvet Goldmine, Labyrinth, The Crow, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Garden State, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Little Miss Sunshine, Beyond the Sea, V for Vendetta, Head, almost anything with Peter Sellers, Audrey Hepburn or Gene Wilder, Jane Austen and Shakespeare adaptations, Mel Brooks films, Tim Burton films, The Princess Bride, Donnie Darko, Amelie, Sexy Beast, The Great Escape, The Ref, Dead Alive, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, When Worlds Collide, Evil Dead trilogy, Bubba-Hotep, George A. Romero's zombie films, An American Werewolf in London, The Big Lebowski, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Brokeback Mountain, Shaun of the Dead, Summer of Sam, Dummy, Shadow of the Vampire, Mommy Dearest, His Girl Friday, The Philadelphia Story, Bringing Up Baby, Meet Me in St. Louis, I Heart Huckabees, The Ice Storm, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Life of Brian, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, The Incredible Mr. Limpet, Clue, The Jacket, The Quiet Man, The Jerk, LOTR, The Emperor's New Groove, Alice in Wonderland, Chicken Run, Love Actually, God is Great and I'm Not, 24 Hour Party People, Holiday, Young Guns, Hoodwinked, Fight Club, Tombstone, Wonder Boys, Breakfast on Pluto, Wet Hot American Summer, Ride With the Devil, The Holy Land, Munich, Shakespeare in Love, Life is Beautiful, Rabbit-Proof Fence, The Dancer Upstairs, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS IS THE FUNNIEST MOVIES EVER!

Television:

OKAY tv still sucks, but I watch it anyway. Scrubs, The Mr. Show, The Monkees, The Muppet Show, M*A*S*H, MST3K, The Young Ones, Adult Swim, Law & Order SVU, Freaks and Geeks, Big Love, The Riches

Books:

Authors- Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, Harlan Ellison, Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, E.M. Forster, Edward Gorey, Lewis Carol, Edward Lear, Dorothy Parker, Yeats, Christopher Moore, Roald Dahl, Craig Shaw Gardner, Tom Robbins, Edgar Allen Poe, Oscar Wilde. Books- "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller, "The Princess Bride" by William Goldman, "Ender's Game" and "Alvin Maker" series' by Orson Scott Card, the "Harry Potter" series" by JK Rowling, "Chronicles of Narnia" by CS Lewis, "LOTR" and "The Hobbit" by Tolkien, "Series of Unfortunate Events" by Lemony Snicket, "The Age of Innocence" by Edith Wharton, "Atomic Candy" by Phyllis Burke, "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "American Gods" and "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman, "Perv- A Love Story" by Jerry Stahl, "Snow Crash" by Neal Stephenson, "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side" by Keith Fleming, "The Yellow Ribbon Snake" by J.R. Dailey, "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess, "1984" by George Orwell, "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo, "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote, "On the Road" "The Subterraneans" and "Big Sur" by Jack Kerouac, "Faerie Tale" by Raymond E. Feist, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey, "The House on Mango Street' by Sandra Cisneros, "Parable of the Sower" by Octavia E. Butler

Heroes:

Fuck-ups who come back triumphant in the last round.

My Blog

government cheese

Yes, Grassy, there really is a Kansas.  We both know Nebraska is a lie, though.It's actually green here and the plants don't try to kill you...I miss the triffids.  Frankie is a good driver....
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:25:00 PST

More coffee, please

Why do children get scared when you run into their room in the middle of the night, carrying a knife and telling them you killed their mother?
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sun, 20 May 2007 11:45:00 PST

Bah!

Depression can make you eat too many blueberry bagels.  You are all smegheads.
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Wed, 16 May 2007 01:34:00 PST

meh

I think Camel Cash should be legal tender.  I haven't felt like a millionaire since I had my money converted to lira.  I wash my hair with icy cold water.  It makes it shine.  Ther...
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sun, 13 May 2007 03:07:00 PST

A sign!

Today I pooped.  It came out looking like a question mark, as if asking me, "what now?"
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Thu, 10 May 2007 11:30:00 PST

I love her

Peggy is my sidekick.
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sun, 06 May 2007 10:04:00 PST

I love him

Steve is my new hero.
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sat, 05 May 2007 01:21:00 PST

So in love...

with Adrien Brody.  I'm going to go watch "Summer of Sam" and wear my special pants.Cha cha cha.
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 05:04:00 PST

Yeah, what she said!

Compulsion- Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will. I am insulted when someone calls me a compulsive liar.  O...
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sat, 28 Apr 2007 03:39:00 PST

I fail to see the humor in this.

Which one of you bastards ate my scone?
Posted by Turtle Meatiness on Sat, 28 Apr 2007 01:08:00 PST