Waiting for something.....

Does anyone actually read these things? I don't think so. I have a scar on my left arm that looks like Liberace. See, I am a farmer. I farm people. I used to work at a cemetary. There was this one time I was sitting on this pile of earth next to a hole. Yes, that kind of hole. Well anyway, there I was smoking some opium and listening to the crickets and looking at the shadows dancing off the stones from the light cast off my lantern looking down at a fresh one, pretty too. Blonde. I don't recall her name. Now I do like blondes. And this one wasn't all fucked up from a car accident or anything, I believe they said she overdosed on ecstacy. 19 or 20 or so. Messed up that coffin bad prying it open but they hardly ever find stuff like that out so I wasn't too worried. Well the opium was a little stronger than I had thought and I was a little, um, relaxed, should we say. See, when you do what I do, sometimes you don't want to actually be there when you are doing it, so you find ways to make yourself absent. Well, I got so relaxed that I tipped over into the hole while trying to get my pants off and as I went over I grabbed onto her dress to catch myself and she came right out of her box and landed in the hole with me. Well I had a good laugh at that after I made sure I wasn't broken or anything and figured "Hell, I might as well get to it down here." So after getting her jewelry settled in my pocket and cleaning her face off a little bit, I pulled her dress up and fumbled around for my pocket, a little difficult when your dungarees are around your ankles, and found my stitch snipping scissors. Stitching ALL oriffices is part of the preperation process you see. Well I got two of the fuckers out when I swear this girl moaned. Now it is 2'oclock in the morning in a graveyard a thousand feet from a backroad. There is no sound at all but for the crickets. Now I KNOW I heard a girls voice moan a short "M" sound. Well this flustered me so bad that that I jumped up and tried to get out of the hole as fast as I could and caught the lantern with the side of my hand and it came down in the hole with us like I had invited it to a threesome, and WOOF! the thing busted and all the oil went up like napalm. Well I 'bout jumped out of that hole and patted my sleeve out and lay there for what seemed like days. The fire went out and I headed home on my bike, didn't even fill the hole in. Got fired the next day. Now I have a fancy scar that looks like Liberace.