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One of many magazines by stupid americans, for stupid americans.
Yes, zines are very '90s. Please don't write and tell me that. Regardless of my inevitable uselessness, SAm will give America the anal reaming with a diseased dildo that it so richly deserves.
If all goes well, I will offer the following to the world, or the few ramshackle record stores that will sell me without expensive bar codes:
**Important, Thought-Provoking Artwork (possibly even accompanying words) by Mike Desert (www.jacksaints.com), Janelle Hessig (Tales of Blarg--http://www.gimmeaction.com/) and Dara Santhai (www.reignofthefury.com)!!!
And Fascinating features such as:
*Why You Should Never, Ever Use Hartz Pet Products. Ever. (hint: they can kill your pets: www.hartzvictims.org)
*Can't Afford Dental Care in America? Visit Beautiful Mexicali, Mexico!
Enriching self-help articles such as:
*The Psycho X Girlfriend Guide -- Tips for Successful Stalking
*Drunk Dial Your Way to Rekindled Romance -- A Helpful Flow Chart
*People Who Dislike You -- Why are they so fucking stupid?
Vanity columns and other inanity:
**PORNO HOLOCAUSTO**
*Porn Biz "Tour Diary" by I Dislike You
*Mike Albo, veteran of Hustler magazine, will outrage and delight you.
*Until you've read letters sent to a porn company from prisons and mental institutions, you haven't read anything good.
*JANET HOUSDEN HATES YOU and will explain why in her column.
*Fucking, Stupid -- "I enter you now, yes?" A stupid American's guide to fucking foreigners, by resident sex columnist, T. Bonz
*Lots and lots of making fun of dongs of days gone by, including--the "Match the Douchebag to the SAm 'staffer'" Game!! Test your wits!
*Fiction! (yes, really!)
*PLUS!!!* The Usual Zine Shit:
*Punk Rock! *Unpunk rock! *INTERVIEWS, REVIEWS, RANTS* and other fun! And maybe, possibly, even some PORN!!!!
And more exclamation points than you can shake a stick at!!
