Maxx-E-Mom

I crept through the jungle as quite as a nun fart. A small flicker of orange light began to show through the thick foliage. I settled down for a moment to let my eyes hone in on the faint glow. Reaching down to tuck in my bowie knife I though about that German guy with two fingers missing convincing me this was the best blade anywhere. So I bore the polished steel with pride and thumbed my nose at the brass. I began to make out small figures around that flame. It was them. One of them had on my buddies jacket, his gore still fresh over the stripes. These men had snuck into our camp two nights before and slaughtered my crew. I was at the rear finger banging little miss Mary Jane Rotten Crotch through her pretty pink panties when the raid took place. The bastards took all our trophies. Every ear that sicko Breen "The Butcher" had was gone. Now he was gone. All the grief I had felt while I was on leave over forgetting my wallet was tripled when those som-bitches stole it. It was the one wrapped in a plastic bag and the words Bad Ass dug into it. I want my wallet back bitches and I intend on getting Breen's ears back with interest. Cock the hammer, it's time for some action!

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