OFFENSIVE FLIP profile picture

OFFENSIVE FLIP

I am here for Networking

About Me

YOU BETTER READ THIS THEN.....OK EVERYONE LISTEN CLOSELY! THERE ARE WOMEN THAT YOU SHOULD BE LOOKIN' OUT FOR ...alright? Like any woman that overdresses more than a damn slut ya don't want to be affliated with. If they actually think that showin' up their ass put them at the top trend then dont get involved. It's just gonna cause problems when you decide to be possessive and domineering over their life. And watch out for women who wear exscessive jewelry. Ya know the fuckin' type of bitch whose got like 15 fuckin'types of rings on each finger? Oh, and people with name plates. Ya know how all these women have their own names on a little chain? As if they fuckin' forget?? And women who have tattoos of their own names on their own bodies is just frikkin' stupid. I mean, are they really this fuckin' stupid that they wake up in the morning and are like, "Oh my God! What's my name??" And have to look at their ass in the mirror to figure out who the fuck they are?? "Oh that's right! I'm Amy!" Gimme a fuckin' break. You don't wanna deal with women who don't know who the fuck they are. Oh... Here's a good test: When you're window shopping and she drags you near a window with jewelry in it, smash her head into the window and RUN.. cause you don't wanna deal with some fuckin'money hungry bitch. My only piece of advice to have a sound relationship is, LEAVE EACHOTHER ALONE!! Don't be overly concerned, don't try to domineer them, don't try to control them. Let them be independent, let them do what they want. You think you people can understand that? Yeah, I know there are some reasons to be suspicous. Like if you're girlfriend walks into the room with a condom on her head..then you may want to ask a few questions. But other than that ya know what? Try to trust the other individual and if doesn't work out, FUCK them and let them drop dead from some weird disease and die! You're better than that and you don't have to validate yourself through another person's life. Every individual is an island and CAN be an island. You do not need a significant other to live life. Stop seeking something that isn't there, and MOVE ON!! ok! not to put down our gurLs right here! ALRIGHT U WOMEN, LISTEN CLOSELY. These guys you should look out for: The type of guys that drive around listenin' to fuckin' ear shattering music. Like "sLipknot" and stupid dumbass songs like that from like the mid 90's that no one gives a shit about? Ya know how they play it really loud to try and get your attention while driving by, as if you were going to throw yourself on top of the hood of their car, and then just start pounding on the windsheild like, "Oh!...I love you cause you're playing sLipknot!!" Yeah okay what the fuck ever. Ya know what you do? I say you should aim for the tires and blow those shits out so it crashes into a fuckin' telephone pole. Fuck that shit. And, watch out for those guys who come over on the weekends and just sit on their fat ass and watch movies. And every 5 mintues when he says, "Hey Babe, can you get me a beer from the fridge?" Tell this fat bastard to get up and get it himself. Fuck that shit. And if he gives you that response, "Well I work all week!" Well, you know what? I'm sure most of you women out there work all week too, and have to take care of a fuckin' child. It's the least he can do after you've carried a fuckin' child in your stomach for 9 months. Tell him to get his own fuckin' beers. These lazy fuckin' bastards just piss me off. And watch out for guys that call you by pet names, more than they do your own name. And if they ever refer to you as.. "my girl" you drop that fucker like a rock. well, too glad am not those types i've said. wtf are they anyway? just hit me back if you dare!! and BTW! racists are definitely welcome to fuck themselves here! literally!!..

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.---------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------DRUNK WOMEN will be great(imma look for this clues)1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your knickers up in the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to start a fight with "some bitch".
4. In your last trip to the bathroom you realise you now look more like Gail from Coronation Street than the goddess you were just our hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burger on the floor of Burger King and pick it up & carry on eating.
6. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them soooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
10. You've forgotten where you live.
11. You've started to sound like Bonnie Tyler from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned 10 TIMES by now !) you only smoke when you drink.
12. You yell at the barman, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the vodka.
13. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
14. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
15. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
16. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown moves.
17. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!)
18. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want
19. You believe that dancing with your arms over your head and wiggling your butt while yelling "woo-hoo" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
20. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button-fly pants to cut down on the time youýre in the washroom away from your drink.
21. You take your shoes off because you believe it's their fault that youýre having problems walking straight.

My Blog

How to: Change an Evil Light Bulb

The strange art of light bulb changing is a painful mystery for most. Many brave men have met their doom trying to figure out how to replace a burnt-out light bulb. But remember: once you tread the da...
Posted by on Sun, 11 Mar 2007 05:07:00 GMT

How to: Cook While Drunk

It's three in the morning. You've been in the pub since lunchtime. You just spent five minutes trying to unlock your front door before you realised you were using your car keys. You finally stumble in...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 11:42:00 GMT

pimp slap the moisturizer off your face!

Went to the city hall this morning to inquire about something when i overheard people talkin bout a woman slappin the city hall guard in the face because he refused to let the woman enter the hall. w...
Posted by on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 17:15:00 GMT

I HATE IT.....

I hate it.... when fat people go to mcdonalds orders champ burger, 2 large fries, 3 apple pies 5 mc flurrys and then orders a DIET COKE! Like a diet coke can be a help with what they have ordered...
Posted by on Sat, 10 Jun 2006 10:16:00 GMT

Bitch Plz. i know you gonna read this bitch.

You cant runaway from your own shit so bitch plz dont try to make flirty issues about yourself and when you get caught you gonna put somebody else in your situation just to take away the issue about y...
Posted by on Mon, 29 May 2006 14:18:00 GMT

the Barney Song(desecrated.wtf!lol.)

sing it on the fuckin dinosaurs tune.   I love you.. you love me.. lets go out and kill barney! with a shot gun BANG! BANG! Barney's on the floor.. No more Stupid dinosaur!  
Posted by on Sun, 14 May 2006 08:53:00 GMT

Laugh at this

Two prostitutes are standing on a street corner, one says to the other "I think it's gonna be a good night tonight, I can smell cock in the air!" "Sorry" says the other, "I just burped!"
Posted by on Fri, 07 Apr 2006 14:23:00 GMT

My advice to make your girl go home on time..

Is to tell her that sex will start at 10pm with or without her!!
Posted by on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 10:50:00 GMT

RACIAL TENSION PAINS??

Suffering from Racial Tension Pains?? This is my proposal for excedrin! Do you get stress headaches at work? If you will ask me? Yes, definitely. From the moment I get in, it's "Gomez, we need th...
Posted by on Fri, 31 Mar 2006 09:38:00 GMT

DREAM JOURNAL

Just wanna share my fuckin dream last night so yeah.. just read it. Um, actually, uh...it's a funny dream. I was backstage with Tracy Chapman at the Random Acts of Kindness Tour, and...she was ki...
Posted by on Fri, 31 Mar 2006 09:17:00 GMT