About Me
Hello, I am John Petrucci.I am your God. I started playing guitar around the time when dinosaurs roamed the earth, needless to say, I was the end of them. One time, my dad tried to give me some guitar tips, but I had my guitar on Killzone mode (middle pickup selection, when its on, people just die, its interesting to see), and... let's just say he isn't on tour with me. All of my amps and gear were custom made for me, so you'll never be able to afford the equipment you need to sound anything like me.
My rack equipment was made by Jim Dunlop, and I didn't kill him because he did what he was supposed to do. The middle unit controls the heat of the sun, I haven't used that yet, don't see why I should. The top one is a data dump. When I need to take a dump... well, it's pretty self-explanatory. The Mesa amp is a Mk IVC+, yes, I had it especially made for me by Ghandi , because he enjoyed the Saltine cracker I gave him so much. My guitars are beautiful, all handpainted by Michael Angelo. No, not that guitar noob, but the one that painted Jesus on the top of that chapel and stuff. My pickups are handwired by Tony Blair. Anyways, that's about it, remember that I play at around 5 million beats per second. You can never play as fast as me because Im just... so... fast. You could probably do 10, maybe 15, but then you'll have to stop because youre shit. Do everyone a favor and just quit. Sell your guitar on ebay. You're too shit.
