Ted profile picture

Ted

Seems happy enough

About Me

A deceptively insouciant paranoid intellectual who can't finish a single sentence without reference to sex or penises despite having neither. Also the hottest bitch on Fuck Street.

My Interests

Film, videogames, music.
Books, vodka, awesome.

I'd like to meet:

Me with a vagina. Though honestly at this point I'd probably settle for plain old penis-me.

Music:

Can't be bothered filling this bit out properly, so lets go with David Bowie songs not ruined by car commercials.

Click here if you're really that interested.

Movies:

Akira Kurosawa, Terry Gilliam, Alain Resnais, Sergio Leone, Satoshi Kon, Ridley Scott, John Carpenter, Wong Kar Wai, Ki-duk Kim, Seijun Suzuki, Kinji Fukasaku, Isao Takahata, Hayao Miyazaki, David Lynch, Masaaki Yuasa, John Woo, Chen Kaige, Takashi Miike, Yasujiro Ozu, Takeshi Kitano, Chan-wook Park, Katsuhiro Otomo, Mamoru Oshii, Orson Welles, Carol Reed, Stanley Kubrick, Wes Anderson, Terry Zwigoff, Joon-ho Bong, Don Hertzfeldt, George Romero, Edgar Wright, David Cronenberg, Robert Wise, Sam Peckinpah, Roman Polanski, Fritz Lang, Ingmar Bergman, Jean-Luc Godard, John Schlesinger, Vittorio De Sica, Jean Cocteau, Michelangelo Antonioni, Federico Fellini, and other names I drew out of a hat.

Television:

Twin Peaks, The Prisoner, Paranoia Agent, Ren and Stimpy, FLCL, The Venture Brothers, Grim Tales, The Young Ones, Now and Then Here and There, Look Around You, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Monkey, Strangers With Candy, Blackadder, Arrested Development, The Colbert Report, Black Books, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop, GitS:SAC 2nd GIG, Mr. Show with Bob and David, The Simpsons before the writers could afford swimming pools full of mescaline.

Books:

1984, Neuromancer, Catch 22, Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, A Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Flowers for Algernon, Slaughterhouse 5, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, H.P. Lovecraft, Brave New World, Sandman, The Watchmen, Akira, Berserk, Down and Out in Paris and London, The Crying of Lot 49, Ulysses, On The Road.

Heroes:

Was ruined by a car commercial.

My Blog

Twenty Motherfucking Two

Figure 1: An ArtNot much to say, really. Rough week. Work is actually a pleasant distraction from myself.I don't know why, but it's worst when I'm in the shower. Usually by the time I'm done I'm havin...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 07 Nov 2007 04:21:00 PST

Birthdays, Wrong Numbers, In Rainbows

I'll kick this bitch off with a reminder that this Saturday will be host to a celebration of both Michelle's and my own 22nd birthday. Whilst Saturday actually is her genuine birthday, mine is a big f...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:23:00 PST

That Old Familiar Feeling (In My Vagina)

So just what in the name of Harvey Fuckbunt have I been doing for the past two months, you ask? Everything you people thought I'd never do, actually. So excuse me, princess, if I've been too lazy to o...
Posted by Ted on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 12:04:00 PST

Hot Sexy Forbidden Post

This post technically shouldn't exist, and for that I apologise and advise you to skip over it, but I need to get it out of the way before regaling yea with tales of the film festival and treasures be...
Posted by Ted on Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:29:00 PST

Things You Can Do When You're Depressed (For No Good Reason)

1. Lie on the couch in your underwear trying to "feel" your favourite albums.2. Beat off until sparks come out.3. Revisit the Achewood Archives.4. Do a shot every time Google Image Search returns a na...
Posted by Ted on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:50:00 PST

Film Festival 2007 - Definite Sessions as of Eight Seconds Ago

If you want me to book your tickets in advance for any of the following sessions, you'll have to let me know in the next day or two. More of these to come as I get word, plus whatever matinee sessions...
Posted by Ted on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 08:13:00 PST

Film Festival 2007 - It's About Fucking Time

Okay, so the selection process took way longer than I expected, and it's not over yet. This leaves you with less time to choose what you want to see yourself. This is a fine mess you've gotten us into...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 25 Jul 2007 05:55:00 PST

Film Festival 2007 - Itinerary Part 1 of 3

This year's selection of films is proving to be as much of a bitch-dragon to choose from as the last's, so I'm going to have to break up my itinerary into around three posts. First up are the sure thi...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 10:38:00 PST

I Can't Find the Fucking Off Switch For My Head

Maybe I should check the tool shed for a hammer.
Posted by Ted on Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:14:00 PST

Oh Awesome it's a Blog Post

First thing's first; Movie Night returns this Friday after a three week hiatus. Well, technically it ran last Saturday night, but as expected almost everyone had made prior arrangements. Didn't stop m...
Posted by Ted on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 06:16:00 PST