andrew profile picture

andrew

About Me

I'm just on myspace to see if anybody from grade school, high school or college is on this thing. I'm curious to see who's winning, you know, at life. Who got fat or bald. I gained like thirty pounds, just in my neck. What the fuck is that about? I used to be a rail. Now people call me "fatneck." I get pissed when they call me that, but I do have to admit that's pretty fuckin' clever. I'm also wondering if any of my old classmates turned out gay. I just don't get the gay thing. It's like trying to jam two identical puzzle pieces together. I can honestly say I've never had non-drunk gay sex.

Roger Daltrey - Heaven On Their Minds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAsw7b50VtA

My Blog

Funny Names

Years and years ago, I was a telemarketer harassing the subscribers of such reputable periodicals as Pensions And Investements and Crain's New York Business. Whenever I came across a funny name o...
Posted by on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:58:00 GMT

Roger Daltrey - Heaven On Their Minds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAsw7b50VtA
Posted by on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:52:00 GMT

Rose Garden Redux - Giving Back

We live in perilous times what with the war and hurricanes and VD. So many of you stop me in the grocery store and at the airport and ask, "Andrew, how can I help those who are in need?" It was a...
Posted by on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:38:00 GMT

Rose Garden Redux

So many of you have been stopping me in the street and at Circus Books imploring me to revisit my column writing days, when at the vanguard of the internet boom, I was setting an example for...
Posted by on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:49:00 GMT

The Cutting Edge: May 27, 2000

Another installment from my days as a prospecting internet journalist. I guess this was written on the heels of the Elian Gonzales ordeal in which a 7 year old Cuban boy somehow wound up in Florida se...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 00:07:00 GMT

The Rose Garden - May 27, 2000

At the height of the internet boom, I submitted all forms of content to one of those all encompassing entertainment web sites that went under shortly after I sent in my material, thus denyin...
Posted by on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 16:11:00 GMT

The Whitbreads 1998- 2000

Another installment of The Whitbreads as our favorite suburban family takes a look at The Full Monty and The Truman Show. Check out the first Whitbreads blog entry for the character breakdown. BTW, I ...
Posted by on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 23:53:00 GMT

The Cutting Edge - May 27, 2000

At the height of the internet boom, I submitted all forms of content to one of those all encompassing entertainment web sites that went under shortly after I sent in my material, thus denyin...
Posted by on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 11:46:00 GMT

Letter to Wrestling Magazine - 1984

As an avid reader of wrestling magazines in my youth, it was a mission of mine to get a letter published in one of these periodicals. But I often wrote in complaining about the lack of coverage receiv...
Posted by on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 01:02:00 GMT

Poem - Oct. 30, 1979

I was 8 years old when I penned this. I'm guessing it was some Halloween related assignment. With original grammar, punctuation, spelling and meter, I give my adoring readers "The World Without Darkne...
Posted by on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:43:00 GMT