About me... I am a straight forward person and if you don't wanna know my REAL opinion don't ask. I have NO tolerance for people who think their shit don't stink.. I am here to tell you ALL SHIT STINKS and you are NO BETTER than me or the next person. I hate FAKE people and know so many of them... say what's on your mind, I sure do! You either love me or ya hate me, there is no in between. Some people just loveee to hate me lol!
I am married... April 2004... I do love him... nothing in life is ever perfect, but in reality, he is the piece of the puzzle that makes me whole. We have had our problems as everyone does but we grow thru them and he has been a blessing to my kids & I. He stepped right up to the plate and took over to help with them and has been a great father figure to them.
I have two kids that I love with all my heart.. Stacy and Dustin ... I try so hard to give them all of the things I did not have and give them love but sometimes I feel like I get nothing in return and it is like fighting a loosing battle. I wanted so bad to be loved as a kid and never felt it, so I guess I feel like that in itself should make my kids happy.. just seems no matter what they never are. But I hope they will always know and remember no matter what.. what I say, how loud I scream lol, they will always be the loves of my life and I would give my life for them. I just hope one day I get some love in return.
Friends... I was told a long, long time ago by someone that has now passed away that before you die you can't count your TRUE friends on one hand and that is sooo true. It seems anymore people just look out for themselves and could care less what they do to you. I have always been the most caring and giving person I could be (in the past) but I have learned the hard way that supposed "friends" will screw you faster than anyone. You can help people, and go out of your way and they just don't give a shit what they do back to you. On the other hand the close friends that I have are awesome and I am thankful for each and every one of them in their own special way. If you are what I consider a true friend of mind then you know there is not much I would not do for you.. I am right there when you need me! I suffered from panic attacks and I have one of my close friends that helped me and pushed me more to living again than she will ever know.. she is a special person! I also had great support from other friends as well. I have gotten better and that was probably the hardest thing in life thus far that I have ever been thru. I have learned that with the power of your mind you can talk yourself into or out of anything and your body sooo reacts to what you feed into your mind!
Courtesy of MsTags.com
Family... I have never had much of what you would call a close family.. It is pretty much "dysfunctional". It is a wonder I am as sane as I am lol. I have my faults but I also have a huge heart and a a very giving and loving person. However, regardless of how close my family and I are, messing with the fam is one place you don't want to go. I have also learned that you can say you are sorry but you can NEVER CHANGE WORDS THAT HAVE BEEN SAID.. THEY NEVER GO AWAY.. THEY CAN BE FORGIVEN, NOT FORGOTTEN.
Moral of my whole story... ya never really know someone... sometimes ya just gotta let go and move on, don't ever, ever say things that are so hurtful that you can't take back.. I have scars so deep from this and those persons will regret it one day.... Think before you speak, you gotta give respect to get it, you only have one life, live it the best way you can, always treat people the way you want to be treated... the way you treat other people comes back TEN FOLD!! And most of all YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN LOVE YOU.. that is something I struggle with everyday.. but I am getting there :))
I lost my sister Jackie Lang in May of 2005...
and my uncle Bobby Lewis in August of 2006, you took a part of all of us with you, you had a huge heart and I miss you.. I really do, I know you both were tired
=( ....RIP to you both... hold a spot for me in heaven... love you both!! I have also lost quite a few friends and it is heartbreaking. I have watched so many destroy their own lives when they had so much life left to live, but I guess God had a different plan. May you all rest in peace.
My sister ~ Forever in my heart~ I so miss the off the wall phone calls we had and I can still hear your voice as if it were yesterday.On February 21, 2009 I lost my first husband David Martin, the father of my children. We had good times as well as bad and it is for damn sure that we did not always see eye to eye lol.. but we did create two beautiful children together and they will so terribly miss you Dave =(... shit I miss you! Our time together happened for a reason and above all two great things came as a result of us and gave a us a bond that can never be denied no matter how we felt at times. Our lives took seperate directions, but without you I would not have the two children I have. They do have Brent in their lives, which I am grateful for and I know you are too! Please watch over our children and keep them safe... I am so sorry you had to go so soon.. we were supposed to have grandchildren to enjoy, wasn't supposed to happen this way. RIP =(I LOVEEEEE THIS BOY!!!!!!!
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