Raccoon

I've got nine lives, but spent about 5 of them already. I sleep through most of the days. I can lick my own nuts (and I didn't have to take Yoga to learn how), it's a great party trick. I'm a cat but I like doin' it doggy style. I'm stuck inside the house, but when my bitch ass owner lets me out, I like to chase pussy. I love anything seafood, or chicken flavored. I can tear up a bowl of science diet. I occassionally cough up fur balls. I'm liter trained. I usually end my day with some catnip. I got hos in every area codes, but I ain't your baby daddy. I love 'em and leave 'em, don't hate the player hate the game. I'm an OG Ragdoll, I'm not one of those mild tempered pansies. I'm 19 years old this spring, lost count what that is in Human years, but it makes me pretty damn ancient. I'm old but I can still kick some ass. I've also mastered the pimp slap. Did I mention I can lick my own nuts.