Patrick Lael

Just a few tidbits about me. I love all my friends. I love my dog like a son. He is always the happiest to see me and never gets tired of me. I am confident enough in my masculinity to say I cried like a baby at the end of The English Patient when he carried her out of the cave. Growing up playing the piano and trumpet and studying music, it's a huge pet peeve to watch people on tv conduct orchestras who obviously have no idea what they are doing. I'm always a better friend to people than people are to me but try and not whine about it. I'm too nice and pay for that deficiency on a daily basis. I'm on the funeral honors detail for the United States Navy and love my country. I didn't care for my 4 years of active duty but I enjoy doing the reserve thing now twice a month and really enjoy the company of the people I serve with. I love English, Australian and New Zealand accents. I dream in color. I love Christmas. I haven't lived in Mississippi where I was born and raised for years but I still consider it home. I can remember things that occurred years ago like it was yesterday but I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday. I always fall for girls that reject me. I stood in a parking deck in the middle of Sydney, Australia where they filmed an episode of Farscape just to say I had done it. I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge at night. I fall to sleep watching old episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Joel Hodgeson was better than Mike Nelson but I like them both. At some point in my life, I became too smart for my own good. It's not quite an infinite knowledge but it's darn close and it's not as good as it sounds. I know things I shouldn't know and I can tell what people are thinking without saying a word to them. As Bill Murray put it, "I'm not THE God but I'm a god." I wish I had lived in the 1940s. Once I was confused understanding villians who wanted to destroy the world and/or rule it but now I understand completely. As a young child, I thought if I got really mad, I could turn into the Incredible Hulk. It never worked. I can play music by ear on the trumpet and piano. I hate spiders but don't mind snakes. I think girls driving their boyfriends around is the gayest thing in the world because you know they turned down a better nicer guy in their past for that loser. I think Audrey Hepburn was the coolest woman who ever lived. I think John Wayne is a state of mind. Vader's Theme plays when I walk into a room. Anything else you wanna know, just ask as I am too honest for my own good. I completely believe that when a door is closed, another better door is opened. The very moment one of your dreams is crushed, you realize it wasn't what you wanted and what you needed was right there in front of your face the whole time. What I wanted doesn't hold a candle compared to what I got. Someone knows better than me and I'm smart enough to realize it. I'm a professional gravy robber. If you're serving gravy and it ends up missing, I probably stole it when you're not looking. I'm that good! I don't eat it, I just steal it for fun.