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"And thus I clothe my naked villany with odd old ends stolen forth of Holy Writ, and seem a saint when most I play the devil"

I live in Guadalajara. My name is Oswaldo Preciado. I'm 23 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine.
There is an idea of a Oswaldo Preciado; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable. I simply am not there.
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why.
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
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My measures on the 03/10/2008

Neck - 40cm Chest - 103cm (2 less than one month ago, 7 less than goal) Biceps - 37cm (3cm less than goal) Waist - 87cm (4 less than last month, 2cm over the goal) Hips - 97cm Thighs - 57cm Calves -...
Posted by Terrible Person on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:25:00 PST

Myself Lately

I have a hard time getting out of the bed in the morning. I haven't shaved in days. The gym and the pool do not excite me as they used to, but I just keep coming back like the machine I became. My mus...
Posted by Terrible Person on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 04:26:00 PST

I used to be such a sweet kid

I had a panic attack waiting for my flight at the airport. There's no place where i feel more lonely. I simply sat down and started crying.The airport is full of people that come from somewhere and ha...
Posted by Terrible Person on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 04:25:00 PST

My Measures on the 02/11/2008

Neck - 40cm Chest - 105cm (5cm away from goal) Biceps - 37cm (3cm away from goal) Forearm - 29 Wrist - 16.5cm Waist - 91cm (6cm over the goal) Hips - 97cm Thighs - 56cm (4cm away from goal) Calves - ...
Posted by Terrible Person on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 05:23:00 PST

Trip 01

Day 1 So I get out of the plane, make my way out extremely easy even though everybody told me I would be harrassed and beaten up and questioned by Customs Guys, they were just like, yeah, whatever, ju...
Posted by Terrible Person on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 09:28:00 PST

Friday January 18 2008

It is 10:32 and I'm home alone again. I got back from the pool at 10, it took me five minutes to get out of the car after opening the door. Not because I had things to do, but because there was nothin...
Posted by Terrible Person on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 08:42:00 PST

Dream 01/13/2008

I had this dream yesterday. The Doctors had brought my brother back to life. They fixed his face and his ribs. He was alive again. He ran into me while I was taking a walk downtown. I drove him over t...
Posted by Terrible Person on Sun, 13 Jan 2008 09:50:00 PST