Ulia profile picture

Ulia

is that your real name or are you just jazzing me up?

About Me

My hobbies include: buying kids smokes, booze, and entry to R rated movies.

I dislike: word shortcuts ( I don't understand what the kids are into these days) • pervy boys (except if they are over 60 and then it's cute) • tourists • DMB • russian fashion • shaving • curry • know-it-alls • Lance Armstrong • orange skin • children who stare • feet • friendly shop workers • classical music at night(gives me bad dreams) • tetris (gives me bad dreams) • cracking knuckles • adults who openly read harry potter on the tube • surveys • cooked carrots • doing the dishes • people who define their lives by the colour pink.

My Interests

I like: red • taxidermy • pesto • cashmere cardies • animals • scandi style • prints • lobsters • dyslexia • art deco • big bro • gnomes • steve jones • jazziness • vintage clothing • interior design • arcane knowledge • marine bio • owls • showing my knickers to men • kitsch • laughter • sherlock holmes pipes • M-tashes • circus freaks • coral lipstick • codine • frisky hair on men • Primark • heart sunglasses • Barbara Cartland • office supply stores • reading • sunglass chains • sock garters • HEAT magazine • vintage Norton motorcycles • salvo army • me bunnies • pulling/maneater dress • Ikea • flea markets • winking • junk shops • raccoons • blueberries • 1950's cadillac with tail fins • dancing • rosé wine • party tricks.

I'd like to meet:

A boy with a title and an estate in dilapidated ruin...oh and boys that wear cardigans, they make me horny.

My parents when they looked like this:

Music:

My gold lobster ipod loves:

The MAN • Mirah • The Knife

Movies:

grey gardens • finding nemo • requiem for a dream • amelié • the big white • belle de jour • lolita • zoolander.

Television:

cash in the attic or flog it, antique men make me horny.

Ab Fab because I am Patsy in her youth

Books:

Haruki Murikami • Faulkner • Tadeusz Borowski • Lewis Robinson • Tarquin Hall

Heroes:

Allison Goldfrapp and Chloë Sevigny

Bill Bailey and JLC

Bill Clinton (I shook his hand once, it was amazing)

My Blog

man of my dreams

I had a dream last night that I was having a tattoo done of Micheal Jackson's face, the best part was that David Hockney was the tattoo artist! How fab is that?It seems I'm highly allergic to my job. ...
Posted by Ulia on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:47:00 PST

what rat race?

I've been working for three days now. I won't disclose the companies that I intern with since that would be just wrong, but let me spill the dirt. I am a paid work placement student, but the way they ...
Posted by Ulia on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:13:00 PST

Ikea is like sex

I went to Ikea today to pick up a few items I was in desperate need of (pear cider anyone?) and I came across the most orgasmic thing I have ever found...gnome twinkle lights. Just when you thought it...
Posted by Ulia on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 11:43:00 PST

animal love

It seems my bunnies have gotten into the kinky spirit of things. Monsieur, since having been snipped-snipped popped-popped, and Mademoiselle, having her uterus (no nice sounds for that) taken out, hav...
Posted by Ulia on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 02:09:00 PST

Let me tell you a story

As I promised, here are some images to make the Trash story a picture book. The first ones were taken of me by dirtydirtydancing and I ended up kissing the photographer as thanks.And then, here are so...
Posted by Ulia on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 06:07:00 PST

Trash whore

Oh deary me, last night was one of those nights when you wake up the next morning you start laughing hysterically. Emmy and I got rip roaring drunk (well I did at least) and bounced around Trash for t...
Posted by Ulia on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 12:26:00 PST

err, hackney army central?

I do love the Met in Hackney that walk the beat, the men tip their hats at me and say hello ma'am. I feel the need to give them great big hugs, but I think I would become much more friendly with a cel...
Posted by Ulia on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 11:05:00 PST

fluffynutters

So I picked up the kids today from camp. Both of them were looking extremely fluffy with their new coats and a bit chubby, but happy nonetheless. The lady who helped me get them ready said they had be...
Posted by Ulia on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 12:54:00 PST

baby rihnos on murder mile

I have returned to my hackney nest and castle. My flight yesterday was incredibly enjoyable seeing as it was not full and I had no one sitting next to an aisle seat and me. There was also turbulence t...
Posted by Ulia on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 12:35:00 PST

I'm a virgin

I must say, I'm very excited at the moment. I just bought a ticket to see The Knife, live, in oct. Now, I feel very close to you all, so I will share a secret with you...I'm a concert virgin. Gasp! I ...
Posted by Ulia on Sun, 10 Sep 2006 06:37:00 PST